Wow....it has been so long since I wrote anything and so much has happened since then. First and for most - my son is home! I can not express the joy of having him back in my arms and feeling of his love. I miss writing to him each week and the closeness that we feel, but I am so glad he is back (well, he is back and gone off to school. )
The day that Boyd came home was such a long day as his flight did not get in until 5:00 p.m. I puttered around the house doing the last minute cleaning and shopping while i waited for the time to tick by. Finally we were on our way to Las Vegas to the airport. I was so excited and could not really believe it was happening Skyler wanted to know why we went so early and I told him that is was cause we did not want to miss the plane coming in. We had about 30 minutes to wait and it went so slow! About ten minutes before he got to the gate, the board showed that his plan had arrived. We had a huge banner that Rob had made for him but there were only three of us there - Rob, Skyler and I. The girls were not able to get off of work. However, we were able to video the hugs live on facebook. We had those cute girls standing next to us who were waiting to be chaperones for others flying in. They kept us laughing. One of the girls had a huge voice and was so loud. She kept welcoming people to Detroit or California just to make them laugh. She saw our banner and wanted to know what it was for. We told her Boyd had been on a mission and we had not seen him for two years. She then started looking for him with us. Rob and Skyler kept giving me problems as they would tell me to settle down or not look up the escalator. Every time i saw church shoes I would get excited. Finally we saw him getting off the farthest escalator. You could hear all of us shot there he is and the ladies heard us. Rob tried telling me to hold still, but forget that. I dropped my side of the banner and took off on a slow run. I wanted to run right into his arms but he was just laughing at me and kept right on walking ! Our new friend had stepped over to hold up the other side of the banner and began shouting "welcome home Boyd" at the top of her lungs. It was not until we got back to the banner that he finally gave me a hug. Big brat - I wanted that way early but it did not matter, I had him now. I had my boy home!
We talked the entire way home and through dinner. Boyd did most of the talking and it was so great to see him and hear his stories. He wandered around the house like he did the day that he left trying to soak it all in. He was home and was not going anywhere. The next morning the tornado began. I spent a few hours taking him shopping to get him clothes as we were going on a cruise in two days. He only had missionary clothes so needed something else to wear. Later that day, Chad and LeAnn came with their kids to spend two days with us. We were supposed to have a good time but remember all of our bad luck, well it happened again.
For some reason Leann wanted to go jet skiing in Lake Havasu instead of here in our town. I was shocked as it was over an hour drive each way plus hauling the boat and jet ski. We did not get to Havasu until after lunch and problems started then. Our truck that kept shutting off and not starting (but the shop said it was all fixed) quit again as we went to put the jet ski in the water. It was going no where. Then the boat got overheated and and had to be hauled back to Bullhead. Rob and Chad took off with the boat while I tried to get the insurance company to send a tow truck. It was 120 out side and no water near the truck. After about four hours, the truck was on its way home and we were waiting for Rob to come back with the other one. It was after 10 by the time we got home and i still had to pack for our trip. LeAnn was tyring to help by offering to go to a hotel but we told her to stay as she was not in the way. I was up until about 2 that morning packing. The day before was behind us and we were going on a cruise with just my kids!!
Well, all does not end there. We got a notice from the airline that our flight was delayed by three hours which meant we would miss our connecting flight in Phoenix. I called the airline to find out there was nothing avaialble as there had been a huge computer problem earlier in the week. We finally found two tickets on the last flight out from Vegas. I needed four. She told us she could put us on overbook which meant we took our chances. And, since the seats were not guaranteed i had to pay for the new seats even though I had free ones to begin with - $1200. I could not beleive it but what was I to do. I paid it and we headed right to Vegas. It was first come first serve on the tickets so we went four hours early. We were lucky enough to get on the flight and finally we were on our way. It was a horrible day with fights from in-laws and hurt feelings but we were finally going (and yes, I did get my money back for the tickets)
We have never been on a cruise before but I would go again tomorrow. It was the best vacation we have had in a long time and totally different than anything we had ever done before. We were all so excited. The rooms were tiny and the boat was a little bit rocky but we got used to that. We took off with all of us out on deck and the breeze blowing through our hair. We were headed to the Bahamas. We were able to eat when and what we wanted, to stay up as late as we wanted, to shop and spend lots of money (in the arcade to say the least - boys!). It was just so awesome. The best part of the boat was dinner time. It was a fancy set up so you had all the formal dinnerware and plates. Skyler had never seen anything like it and wanted to know why he had three forks and they placed the napkin on his lap. We laughed so hard. Our waitress was so funny and grew to love us like we loved her. The food was crocodile legs and escargo plus other weird stuff. Skyler just wanted potatoes and gravy so he would order two entrees that both had potaotes. By the third night he learned he could order just the potatoes - and lots of rolls. Padina (our waitress) kept us stocked up on those. Jay was the floating bartender and always asked us what we wanted to drink. We told him we did not drink and he told us we would have no fun. It was the best part of the boat - dinnertime. I cried the last night as I was so overwhelmed. Not a care in the world had been ours for fives - all the problems left behind and just my family.
Our excursions were great as well. We went to Freeport and to Nassau. We spent one day at the back on kayaks and riding the waves. Of course there was shopping too. The next day we went to the Atlantis water park. It was huge! We went on a few slides but the best part was swimming with teh dolphins. We got to squeeze into these wets suits which caused lots more laughs and head out into the water. We kissed, fed, patted swam and rode the dolphins. It was so much for that excursion but so worth it. To see all the smiles on the kids faces and the love that was there. It was that way the entire trip. We had just the best time ever.
The day after we got home my family came. They were here for Boyds homecoming. We had a nice court of honor for Skyler to get his Eagle and he even seemed proud of it. I know I am way proud of him for getting it. Skyler and I had to talk with Boyd that day which was not nice of the bishopric. Moms are supposed to sit in the audience so they can beam and cry. I kept my talk short and sweet so we could hear Boyd. I did take my place in the audience after I spoke too. I was amazed at the words I was hearing coming out of my son's mouth. He had changed so much. He talked of how scared he was to go but that he was so glad that he did. He stood by the Savior for two years and taught of his truths. I so wish he could stay that pure forever. He did bear his testimony in Spanish which brought tears to many eyes - especially his dad. Our boy was now a man,
We were able to spend almost three weeks with Boyd before telling him good bye again. It was time for him to go to school. I took more time off of work and headed to Utah with him. We flew up as he did not have a car and had events planned for five days to get him started at school. We spent the first morning at orientation for freshman which was just awesome! I could have done without it. Then we headed to his apartment. Well, we toured the place the summer and i was so excited for him to live there and have tons of friends to be with. We walked into his apartment though and both felt sick. It was such a disaster - no paint on all the damaged walls, pills on the floor, meth smell in the carpet, mold around the toilet - no way was he going to live there. His mattress was paper thin with holes in in and probably bugs. We told the office who got pretty upset with us for questioning things and told us it was student housing not the marriott hotel. I was pretty upset. Student housing should still be liveable. We went home for Boyd to think about it and the next day went back to get out of te contract. We had to find someone to sell it to which really was no problem. It cost me almost $300 to cancel the contract but I did not care - he was not going to live there. We then had the task of looking for another place to live. I called work and go the rest of the week off so I could help him. We looked all over and found a really nice place with one opening left. I wanted him to stay there so bad but grandpa had already offered the basement so it was an easy way out for Boyd. He does not do well with change or meeting new people so he finally decided to stay at my parents. I hate that as I know he will come home everyday and do nothing just like Cortnie did. He needs to find friends and socialize. So far he has proved me right and come home every day. It breaks my heart and i really hope he will do something soon. At least he is settled in now and enjoying school.
The girls were also moving in to their new place that same weekend that I stayed. We called Rob and asked me to bring the truck up to help them move. They had so much stuff! He brought James with him and drove until after midnight to get there. I am so glad they came. There is no way I coudl have lifted all those boxes and it would have taken us 25 trips with their cars. I spent the following day unpacking and putting together a new place. My short five day trip was not 11 and I was exhausted. I am glad I was able to go and to help out. We also turned around and went to Panaca four days after getting home from there. Again, nice to go but so glad to be home.
We are home now for a month but Boyd is coming home this weekend to go to the temple with his friend so a Vegas trip and then two weeks after that we go to General Conference again. We have a trip or activity planned once a month for the rest of the year to see our kids in Utah and I am so glad. I want to be with them all so bad. I miss them like crazy. Three more years - then hopefully we can move. I just need to have faith that things will continue to work out. I need to somehow help my son to feel the spirit again so he will want to have the church in his life - Skyler that is. Prayers and more prayers. I can do this right ....you bet I can.
Sunday, September 11, 2016
Sunday, July 17, 2016
Is It all a Dream?
Wow...it has been so long since I have written anything but life has been so crazy. It seems like everyday we think we will have some free time and then the day is gone. I am so grateful though to be alive and to be well. I am healthy and happy. We have jobs and a home and can provide for our children. Sometimes I wonder why I am so blessed (and other times like this past few weeks, I sometimes have to really think about those blessings as the trials come.) I am truly grateful for the plan of our Heavenly Father. He knows what we can handle and when we have had enough, he steps in with angels or with His love and things are okay once again. I have to be thankful for that.
As i think about what has happened or what is going to happen, I wonder if it is all a dream. I sometimes am afraid to breathe or blink for fear that I will wake up and the dream will be over. Sometimes I wish it was a dream and things could change, but right now, I don't want it to be a dream. I want it to be real. My son...Elder Beatty...comes home in less than 72 hours! I honestly can not beleive that two years has already gone by and that I will be able to see and hold him again that soon. It truly seems like just a few months ago that he left and now he will be home. He has grown so much that I am afraid i might not know him. I tell him I am afraid to breathe when I think about it as I keep thinking it is not real. I might not show it much, but I am about to burst and am so excited. I have been putting it in the back of my mind so I don't dwell on it but it is hard. People ask me if I am excited. Duh....why would I not be? I have not held my son for two years. The last time I was in his presence, he walked away from me crying as he was so scared and wanting to be my little boy still. Now, he leaves his mission still that scared person but a man. He is afraid to come home and start a whole new life again after living a mission life for two years. Yet, he is wanting to see his family. I could not be more proud of my son and what he has accomplished. He truly beat all odds by staying on his mission. I will never forget that phone call of him crying and begging me to bring him home. It was the hardest thing I have ever done to tell him he needed to stay. I knew it would change his life and he would change others. I have seen that happen and now I am a little afraid about who he really is. Will he still be my little boy? Will he still love me and let me take care of him? Will he still want his mom...I sure pray so cause I still need him. I have written to him every week for two years and sent him tons of emails each week. I pray our bond will last forever.
I will have to say that I really only thought Satan worked on you when they were preparing to go but he sure is loving us right now. We have been hit with trial after trial for the past month. We had to replace the alternator in the truck, the shower leaked through the wall so we had to cut a hole in the wall to repair it; the toilets got leaks after our vacation causing us to retile our bathrooms sooner then we wanted; and just recently the water pipes for the irrigation system decided they wanted to leak causing a 80K water usage and huge water bill. We have since repaired them both at the cost of digging up our sidewalk and some grass. My poor husband is such a handyman and I am so lucky that he is. I can not imagine the repair bills at the cost of hiring someone. He is so worn out and tired but keeps going. He choose to only work three days a week this summer to have time to himself and get things done he wanted to do, but has spend every day off repairing or replacing something. All the money he earned extra went to pay for the cost of all the repairs. I will admit that I have sometimes wondered why we have to be picked on, but then am reminded that we have the extra money so have not had to dive into our savings. I have felt sorry for myself but yet quickly try to remind myself that we have been blessed. Today at church, we had an angel pass an envelope to another member askign them to give it to us. It was cash - enough to cover the latest repair. I quickly cried and realized once again I am blessed. I am silently hoping though that our trials are over and we can relax now. I just want to bring my son home.
On top of all the repairs, we have lots of family coming and a huge vacation to go on. Rob's family will be here the day after Boyd gets home for two days. We will play with them. Then we head out to Florida to catch a cruise ship to go to the Bahamas with our children for a week. I am so excited to bond with all of my children again. The day after we get back my family will come for five days and be here for his homecoming. We are having Skyler's court of honor for his Eagle on Saturday, Boyd's talk in church on Sunday, an open house for him on Monday plus feeding everyone. I have made banana bread, about 16 dozen cookies, rice krispies and other snacks for both activities. I am so excited to have my family come and Rob's too. The last time we had company was two years ago when he left. We just do not get visitors very often. They are all staying here so we have been preparing the house and trailer for them to sleep. We will walk all over each other with so many people here. We have two small bathrooms and three bedrooms. i want them here but it will be stressful. I just have to remember to be kind and patient. When they all leave I will go with Boyd to the temple and relax for two weeks before I move him to school. Life....so busy and crazy...but so awesome. I will gladly give up sleep and rest for my family and cant wait for them to come.
We did have a nice vacation to Utah in June before the tornado hit. Skyler went to EFY again and Rob and I just relaxed and spent time with each other. I love to go away and just relax. I am up to six weeks of vacation starting next month and i plan on using it all. We are doing another trip with just adults to Hawaii in January and I can't wait for that as well. I have decided that I really need to take more vacations. We have the money and I don't need the stress. I just want to be happy. I try to find things to keep myself busy while my boys play their games but sometimes I get lonely. I plan on taking trips to see my kids in Utah and spend time with them. I just want to have family time. It is more important that anything that I ever could buy. How grateful I am for them. I am excited to have them come and can't wait to spend time with them. For now, I will try to breathe and hopefully continue the dream if that is what it is. I want to be happy. I will continue to try to remember to count my blessings and to thank my Heavenly Father for them. Thank you ...and welcome home son.
As i think about what has happened or what is going to happen, I wonder if it is all a dream. I sometimes am afraid to breathe or blink for fear that I will wake up and the dream will be over. Sometimes I wish it was a dream and things could change, but right now, I don't want it to be a dream. I want it to be real. My son...Elder Beatty...comes home in less than 72 hours! I honestly can not beleive that two years has already gone by and that I will be able to see and hold him again that soon. It truly seems like just a few months ago that he left and now he will be home. He has grown so much that I am afraid i might not know him. I tell him I am afraid to breathe when I think about it as I keep thinking it is not real. I might not show it much, but I am about to burst and am so excited. I have been putting it in the back of my mind so I don't dwell on it but it is hard. People ask me if I am excited. Duh....why would I not be? I have not held my son for two years. The last time I was in his presence, he walked away from me crying as he was so scared and wanting to be my little boy still. Now, he leaves his mission still that scared person but a man. He is afraid to come home and start a whole new life again after living a mission life for two years. Yet, he is wanting to see his family. I could not be more proud of my son and what he has accomplished. He truly beat all odds by staying on his mission. I will never forget that phone call of him crying and begging me to bring him home. It was the hardest thing I have ever done to tell him he needed to stay. I knew it would change his life and he would change others. I have seen that happen and now I am a little afraid about who he really is. Will he still be my little boy? Will he still love me and let me take care of him? Will he still want his mom...I sure pray so cause I still need him. I have written to him every week for two years and sent him tons of emails each week. I pray our bond will last forever.
I will have to say that I really only thought Satan worked on you when they were preparing to go but he sure is loving us right now. We have been hit with trial after trial for the past month. We had to replace the alternator in the truck, the shower leaked through the wall so we had to cut a hole in the wall to repair it; the toilets got leaks after our vacation causing us to retile our bathrooms sooner then we wanted; and just recently the water pipes for the irrigation system decided they wanted to leak causing a 80K water usage and huge water bill. We have since repaired them both at the cost of digging up our sidewalk and some grass. My poor husband is such a handyman and I am so lucky that he is. I can not imagine the repair bills at the cost of hiring someone. He is so worn out and tired but keeps going. He choose to only work three days a week this summer to have time to himself and get things done he wanted to do, but has spend every day off repairing or replacing something. All the money he earned extra went to pay for the cost of all the repairs. I will admit that I have sometimes wondered why we have to be picked on, but then am reminded that we have the extra money so have not had to dive into our savings. I have felt sorry for myself but yet quickly try to remind myself that we have been blessed. Today at church, we had an angel pass an envelope to another member askign them to give it to us. It was cash - enough to cover the latest repair. I quickly cried and realized once again I am blessed. I am silently hoping though that our trials are over and we can relax now. I just want to bring my son home.
On top of all the repairs, we have lots of family coming and a huge vacation to go on. Rob's family will be here the day after Boyd gets home for two days. We will play with them. Then we head out to Florida to catch a cruise ship to go to the Bahamas with our children for a week. I am so excited to bond with all of my children again. The day after we get back my family will come for five days and be here for his homecoming. We are having Skyler's court of honor for his Eagle on Saturday, Boyd's talk in church on Sunday, an open house for him on Monday plus feeding everyone. I have made banana bread, about 16 dozen cookies, rice krispies and other snacks for both activities. I am so excited to have my family come and Rob's too. The last time we had company was two years ago when he left. We just do not get visitors very often. They are all staying here so we have been preparing the house and trailer for them to sleep. We will walk all over each other with so many people here. We have two small bathrooms and three bedrooms. i want them here but it will be stressful. I just have to remember to be kind and patient. When they all leave I will go with Boyd to the temple and relax for two weeks before I move him to school. Life....so busy and crazy...but so awesome. I will gladly give up sleep and rest for my family and cant wait for them to come.
We did have a nice vacation to Utah in June before the tornado hit. Skyler went to EFY again and Rob and I just relaxed and spent time with each other. I love to go away and just relax. I am up to six weeks of vacation starting next month and i plan on using it all. We are doing another trip with just adults to Hawaii in January and I can't wait for that as well. I have decided that I really need to take more vacations. We have the money and I don't need the stress. I just want to be happy. I try to find things to keep myself busy while my boys play their games but sometimes I get lonely. I plan on taking trips to see my kids in Utah and spend time with them. I just want to have family time. It is more important that anything that I ever could buy. How grateful I am for them. I am excited to have them come and can't wait to spend time with them. For now, I will try to breathe and hopefully continue the dream if that is what it is. I want to be happy. I will continue to try to remember to count my blessings and to thank my Heavenly Father for them. Thank you ...and welcome home son.
Sunday, April 3, 2016
Life is Full of Changes
It is amazing how quickly time goes by but yet it seems to move so slow. If I look at the last time I posted, it has been three months but yet it seems like just yesterday. So much has happened and I am sure I won't remember it all. The best part is that the clock is ticking for Boyd to come home. I am trying not to think about it as that seems to make the time go by slower, but yet if I think back it has gone by pretty quickly. Today is General Conference again and it will be the last conference before he comes home. We have less than four months to go - in fact, we hit 100 days next week! I try not to think about it as it seems so far away still. If I don't dwell on it, it will continue to go by. Boyd has hit a bump in the road and is struggling a little bit so hopefully he will get over that quickly or his time will go by slow. I want his final few months to be as great as the rest of his mission. He needs that opportunity to continue to teach and testify and share his love of the gospel. I am hopeful maybe he will have one more baptism before he comes home but if he does not, that is not a big deal to me at all. I know he has changed lives and he might not ever see the results of his work but yet, I am sure many will come into the church through his service. How I miss my boy but I am so proud of him. I can hardly wait for him to come home and get my hug. We are going on vacation to Florida right after he gets home so that will be tons of fun. I can hardly wait for this summer.
I was released as RS president a couple of weeks ago which is bitter sweet. It was really hard and I cried a lot the day before but it is okay. Change is always good and I am happy to stay out of the light. It will also be nice to not know everything about everyone. That can be hard sometimes and I will not miss that. I will miss the love of my sisters though. The last time I was released I became a nobody and no one even talked to me any more. I am afraid that is what will happen this time and I don't want to be alone. I have no girls at home right now and my boys here don't like to do the same things as me so it makes it kind of lonely. I just pray that people will keep talking to me and invite me to things. I need that so much in my life right now. How I miss my girls....but it was nice to have them home last weekend.
The girls came home last weekend for Easter - or so Rob thought. His birthday was also on Easter and it was the big 50. He had warned me forever that I could not have a party for him and I had to be nice - but he never told the girls they could not do something. Brittnie put together a huge surprise party for him and invited tons of his friends and people from the ward. She had videos of his siblings, his parents, my family and the kids and I - including Boyd. We had all kinds of food and just hung out. It was a lot of fun. His sisters even came down just for the day. We spend the whole weekend just laughing and then had dentist and eye doctor appointments for them on Monday. It was hard to take them back to the airport - especially cause their plane was three hours late. With the time change,, they ended up getting in at 4:00 in the morning their time. I hate it when they leave but at least I can talk to them every night. Boyd will be going to school up by where they live so it will be nice to be close to him when we visit too. He had a larger scholarship in Cedar City but would be all alone there so he decided to go to UVU. He really wanted to go to BYU so hopefully he can transfer in after one year. I am glad he will be close to his sisters and other relatives if he needs them. He will go to school three weeks after he gets home which stinks but I will be able to talk to him.
I am going to Utah in a couple of weeks so that will be nice. Katie, Shawn's daughter, is going through the temple to prepare for her mission. She got her call this past week to Germany and leaves in 8 weeks. - I am glad it is them trying to get her ready so quickly. We were supposed to go to Panaca the same day but Rob told me to go to Utah and he and Skyler will go to Panaca. He knows how hard it is when no one comes to our things on me and no one will be able to be there for Katie. So, off I go for the weekend. Cortnie might be having surgery soon as they found a small hole in her heart (nothing major most of us have it). If you have this hole and are prone to migraines, they find closing the hole makes them less. Her doctor appointment is that Monday so I might be staying an extra day to go with her to the appointment. I am hoping if she has surgery she can schedule it while we are there in June for EFY. Then I can use sick time instead of vacation time and save more vacation for when Boyd is home. Hopefully we will have answers soon as I am not one who likes the unknown. I like to plan in advance. Work is crazy right now as another person quit and we still have not hired anyone to replace the last one. I don't know what we are going to do. I am willing to help out some but I will not work 50 or 60 hours a week. I won't do it. They need to send us some help and they really need to up our pay.
So life is full of changes. How I love being a mom. I have gotten really close to Skyler lately in some areas of his life but he is still a challenge with his attitude. He comes to talk to me when he is down or lonely and he is really good at knowing when I feel the same way. He has taken over as my big bear and gives bear hugs when I need them. I pray that we can stay close and that he will talk to me. Teenage years are hard....and he will need help from adults. Life is good. Somedays are harder than others as I think about all of my kids gone or soon to be gone (2 1/2 years). I pray that when that time comes we can finally move. I want my dream home and I want it filled with family and love.
I was released as RS president a couple of weeks ago which is bitter sweet. It was really hard and I cried a lot the day before but it is okay. Change is always good and I am happy to stay out of the light. It will also be nice to not know everything about everyone. That can be hard sometimes and I will not miss that. I will miss the love of my sisters though. The last time I was released I became a nobody and no one even talked to me any more. I am afraid that is what will happen this time and I don't want to be alone. I have no girls at home right now and my boys here don't like to do the same things as me so it makes it kind of lonely. I just pray that people will keep talking to me and invite me to things. I need that so much in my life right now. How I miss my girls....but it was nice to have them home last weekend.
The girls came home last weekend for Easter - or so Rob thought. His birthday was also on Easter and it was the big 50. He had warned me forever that I could not have a party for him and I had to be nice - but he never told the girls they could not do something. Brittnie put together a huge surprise party for him and invited tons of his friends and people from the ward. She had videos of his siblings, his parents, my family and the kids and I - including Boyd. We had all kinds of food and just hung out. It was a lot of fun. His sisters even came down just for the day. We spend the whole weekend just laughing and then had dentist and eye doctor appointments for them on Monday. It was hard to take them back to the airport - especially cause their plane was three hours late. With the time change,, they ended up getting in at 4:00 in the morning their time. I hate it when they leave but at least I can talk to them every night. Boyd will be going to school up by where they live so it will be nice to be close to him when we visit too. He had a larger scholarship in Cedar City but would be all alone there so he decided to go to UVU. He really wanted to go to BYU so hopefully he can transfer in after one year. I am glad he will be close to his sisters and other relatives if he needs them. He will go to school three weeks after he gets home which stinks but I will be able to talk to him.
I am going to Utah in a couple of weeks so that will be nice. Katie, Shawn's daughter, is going through the temple to prepare for her mission. She got her call this past week to Germany and leaves in 8 weeks. - I am glad it is them trying to get her ready so quickly. We were supposed to go to Panaca the same day but Rob told me to go to Utah and he and Skyler will go to Panaca. He knows how hard it is when no one comes to our things on me and no one will be able to be there for Katie. So, off I go for the weekend. Cortnie might be having surgery soon as they found a small hole in her heart (nothing major most of us have it). If you have this hole and are prone to migraines, they find closing the hole makes them less. Her doctor appointment is that Monday so I might be staying an extra day to go with her to the appointment. I am hoping if she has surgery she can schedule it while we are there in June for EFY. Then I can use sick time instead of vacation time and save more vacation for when Boyd is home. Hopefully we will have answers soon as I am not one who likes the unknown. I like to plan in advance. Work is crazy right now as another person quit and we still have not hired anyone to replace the last one. I don't know what we are going to do. I am willing to help out some but I will not work 50 or 60 hours a week. I won't do it. They need to send us some help and they really need to up our pay.
So life is full of changes. How I love being a mom. I have gotten really close to Skyler lately in some areas of his life but he is still a challenge with his attitude. He comes to talk to me when he is down or lonely and he is really good at knowing when I feel the same way. He has taken over as my big bear and gives bear hugs when I need them. I pray that we can stay close and that he will talk to me. Teenage years are hard....and he will need help from adults. Life is good. Somedays are harder than others as I think about all of my kids gone or soon to be gone (2 1/2 years). I pray that when that time comes we can finally move. I want my dream home and I want it filled with family and love.
Sunday, January 10, 2016
Holidays - I wish They were Back
I have heard so many people in the past week say how thankful they are that the holidays are over. I wish so bad that they were still here. I love the holidays! I love to shop, to cook, to be with family, to wrap presents, to give surprises, to make treats, to travel - I love it all. I wish I could have it way more often. However, the check book would not make it and I would probably grow tired of it. I for one though am not happy that they are over. I love spending time with my family and this year especially, was really hard to leave.
We had a wonderful Christmas and New Years. Cortnie had an angel at work offer to work for her so that she could come home for Christmas. She still had to work part of the week though so we picked them up way late on December 23rd. That gave us Christmas Eve together and all of Christmas Day. I am not sure how it happened, but I had everything done before they got here. I was so ready for Christmas it was kind of scary. I was able to devote all my time to them while they were home and we had a blast. We went to movies, had a nice dinner, played games, laughed and cried. It was so great. Christmas morning I am happy to say that no one got stuck in the window sill and they were kind enough to let us sleep until seven. I wonder if my children will ever out grow the need to get up early on Christmas day - oh well, it makes us all stay young. We had wonderful gifts and so much thought into giving them. Everyone came away happy and I did not go broke this year. It is amazing how I was even able to decide what to give them before they even asked. It was kind of fun. ';
I have to admit I was a little bit antsy all morning as I know that Boyd would be calling. He put the frosting on my Christmas cake. I could not believe my son! He looks so awesome and is so happy. He has lost weight and looks like a man - not my little boy anymore. We laughed and cried and told stories. We opened gifts and laughed some more. We were privileged to get to talk to him for almost three hours. What a great way to spend Christmas afternoon. As it came time to say good-bye though, my little boy came back. He had tears rolling down his cheeks that I could not wipe away. I wanted so bad to hold him and hug him but all I could do was try not to cry and tell him I loved him. he gave family prayer in Spanish before he left and I cried some more. Brittnie said it was easy not to cry though when you had no idea what he was saying. We made hearts with our hands and held them near our hearts. Then he was gone - and I cried some more. I miss him so bad - but THIS YEAR he comes home. We have made it through three Skype calls with only one more to go. We have less than 200 days left. I can do this - we can do this together. My heart broke for him though as he was all alone once again.
We spent the rest of the holidays visiting family. We took the kids to Panaca first to spend one day with grandparents there. It is hard to go there and not feel left out but we go cause we love them. We then got to spend a week in Utah with our daughters and other relatives. We went to temple square, to movies, to parties, out to dinner, shopping, and just sitting around talking. I loved every minute of every day. I was so not ready to come home. As it was time to say good-bye I cried but tried to hold it inside. I wanted to be strong for my girls. I hated to leave them though - I worry about them so much. They need to find friends and they need to be happy. I don't hear that in their voice very often and it worries me. I had silent tears rolling down my cheeks for about a half hour. Rob lets me cry - he knows it hurts me to leave them. I feel alone some nights since the girls are both gone. I do my thing while Rob and Skyler bond on their games but it gets lonely. I miss spending time with them and doing things together. My goal for this year is to find more quality things to do together as a family. We want to do a big vacation when Boyd gets home before he leaves for school. I just pray he gets into BYU - he has had so many disappoints in his life I don't want there to be another one. I want him to finally feel like he has done something right.
2015 was a great year for us but not without its trials. We had surgery, numerous car accidents (one of which was Boyd on his mission right before Christmas - no big deal just went over a curb and took out a mailbox totaling the car and Cortnie two days before then in a snow storm on the freeway) - but no one was hurt. We had many times we were traveling the vehicles went wrong but we were always okay. I can not even begin to explain our financial situation other than to say I know we are blessed for having a son out and paying our tithing. We had a daughter move out of the house to go find her dream and hopefully find someone to share it with. I am so happy we had 2015. I am excited for 2016 and the chance to continue to serve and to grow. I want my family to be happy. I want to see them grow up and get married and serve missions and hopefully soon have grandbabies to spoil. I am so thankful for my best friend to be by my side as we reach our goals together. Life is good - I pray that it will continue to be.
We had a wonderful Christmas and New Years. Cortnie had an angel at work offer to work for her so that she could come home for Christmas. She still had to work part of the week though so we picked them up way late on December 23rd. That gave us Christmas Eve together and all of Christmas Day. I am not sure how it happened, but I had everything done before they got here. I was so ready for Christmas it was kind of scary. I was able to devote all my time to them while they were home and we had a blast. We went to movies, had a nice dinner, played games, laughed and cried. It was so great. Christmas morning I am happy to say that no one got stuck in the window sill and they were kind enough to let us sleep until seven. I wonder if my children will ever out grow the need to get up early on Christmas day - oh well, it makes us all stay young. We had wonderful gifts and so much thought into giving them. Everyone came away happy and I did not go broke this year. It is amazing how I was even able to decide what to give them before they even asked. It was kind of fun. ';
I have to admit I was a little bit antsy all morning as I know that Boyd would be calling. He put the frosting on my Christmas cake. I could not believe my son! He looks so awesome and is so happy. He has lost weight and looks like a man - not my little boy anymore. We laughed and cried and told stories. We opened gifts and laughed some more. We were privileged to get to talk to him for almost three hours. What a great way to spend Christmas afternoon. As it came time to say good-bye though, my little boy came back. He had tears rolling down his cheeks that I could not wipe away. I wanted so bad to hold him and hug him but all I could do was try not to cry and tell him I loved him. he gave family prayer in Spanish before he left and I cried some more. Brittnie said it was easy not to cry though when you had no idea what he was saying. We made hearts with our hands and held them near our hearts. Then he was gone - and I cried some more. I miss him so bad - but THIS YEAR he comes home. We have made it through three Skype calls with only one more to go. We have less than 200 days left. I can do this - we can do this together. My heart broke for him though as he was all alone once again.
We spent the rest of the holidays visiting family. We took the kids to Panaca first to spend one day with grandparents there. It is hard to go there and not feel left out but we go cause we love them. We then got to spend a week in Utah with our daughters and other relatives. We went to temple square, to movies, to parties, out to dinner, shopping, and just sitting around talking. I loved every minute of every day. I was so not ready to come home. As it was time to say good-bye I cried but tried to hold it inside. I wanted to be strong for my girls. I hated to leave them though - I worry about them so much. They need to find friends and they need to be happy. I don't hear that in their voice very often and it worries me. I had silent tears rolling down my cheeks for about a half hour. Rob lets me cry - he knows it hurts me to leave them. I feel alone some nights since the girls are both gone. I do my thing while Rob and Skyler bond on their games but it gets lonely. I miss spending time with them and doing things together. My goal for this year is to find more quality things to do together as a family. We want to do a big vacation when Boyd gets home before he leaves for school. I just pray he gets into BYU - he has had so many disappoints in his life I don't want there to be another one. I want him to finally feel like he has done something right.
2015 was a great year for us but not without its trials. We had surgery, numerous car accidents (one of which was Boyd on his mission right before Christmas - no big deal just went over a curb and took out a mailbox totaling the car and Cortnie two days before then in a snow storm on the freeway) - but no one was hurt. We had many times we were traveling the vehicles went wrong but we were always okay. I can not even begin to explain our financial situation other than to say I know we are blessed for having a son out and paying our tithing. We had a daughter move out of the house to go find her dream and hopefully find someone to share it with. I am so happy we had 2015. I am excited for 2016 and the chance to continue to serve and to grow. I want my family to be happy. I want to see them grow up and get married and serve missions and hopefully soon have grandbabies to spoil. I am so thankful for my best friend to be by my side as we reach our goals together. Life is good - I pray that it will continue to be.
Sunday, November 29, 2015
Thankful
Life just goes by way too fast. I can't believe it has been almost three months since I last posted anything. It is crazy busy around here and the next month will be just as bad. I have not even been able to run on my treadmill and it shows. I want to get healthy again but can't stay up until midnight every night to do so. However, I am so thankful that I am healthy and able to do what I can. I know the my Heavenly Father helps me through each day. There is no other explanation as to why I can do so much if it was not for his help.
We just got back from a nice Thanksgiving in Utah. We usually stay home but no one could come so we went there. I have not been there for so long for Thanksgiving. It was nice to be with my daughters. they choose to stay at my parents with us so that was really nice. How I love having them there and being with them all the time. I am worried about Christmas though. As of right now, Cortnie has to work on Christmas day so we might be there for that holiday too. I so much prefer Christmas in my own home though and I hate to haul everything with me. I just am praying so hard that someone will work for her. I am very grateful for my family and for all the chances I get to be with them.
I am also so thankful for my missionary. I have rubbed off on Rob. We will just be sitting in church singing a song and suddenly the words will hit our hearts and we will start to cry. They are words that pertain to our missionary too or how he has overcome or missing him. We are truly blessed for having him out. We had another financial blessing happen that I can not explain on paper. I can only explain it by saying we are blessed for him serving. I miss him like crazy - especially during the holidays. However, I know that he is happy, that he is changing and growing, and that he is touching lives of families so that they can have what I have - an eternal family.
I am so thankful at this time of year for my Saviors. How I love him! I can never repay what he gave for me and for taking about him all of my sins. I am thankful for Heavenly Parents who let their son die for each of us. It is not easy watching your child hurt so I am truly thank for them. I hope t keep that spirit alive this holiday season and to enjoy it. I don't' want to be too busy - I want to feel of that spirit and to share it with those around me. I am so thankful for all of my many blessings.
We just got back from a nice Thanksgiving in Utah. We usually stay home but no one could come so we went there. I have not been there for so long for Thanksgiving. It was nice to be with my daughters. they choose to stay at my parents with us so that was really nice. How I love having them there and being with them all the time. I am worried about Christmas though. As of right now, Cortnie has to work on Christmas day so we might be there for that holiday too. I so much prefer Christmas in my own home though and I hate to haul everything with me. I just am praying so hard that someone will work for her. I am very grateful for my family and for all the chances I get to be with them.
I am also so thankful for my missionary. I have rubbed off on Rob. We will just be sitting in church singing a song and suddenly the words will hit our hearts and we will start to cry. They are words that pertain to our missionary too or how he has overcome or missing him. We are truly blessed for having him out. We had another financial blessing happen that I can not explain on paper. I can only explain it by saying we are blessed for him serving. I miss him like crazy - especially during the holidays. However, I know that he is happy, that he is changing and growing, and that he is touching lives of families so that they can have what I have - an eternal family.
I am so thankful at this time of year for my Saviors. How I love him! I can never repay what he gave for me and for taking about him all of my sins. I am thankful for Heavenly Parents who let their son die for each of us. It is not easy watching your child hurt so I am truly thank for them. I hope t keep that spirit alive this holiday season and to enjoy it. I don't' want to be too busy - I want to feel of that spirit and to share it with those around me. I am so thankful for all of my many blessings.
Monday, September 14, 2015
Surprise!!
I have always wanted to steal my husband away on a surprise vacation and last weekend I finally did it. I wanted to just take him away for our anniversary and walk on beaches or just go for hikes. I had mentioned it to Tina a while back and we began to plan. I don't think I could have done it if she would not have gone as they always provide the condo room. Once again they did that and we paid for the food and rental car. It was so great to surprise Rob and tell him....let's go.
Rob was working that day so I had made arrangements with James for him to be off early. I went to visit him with a coke and a bag of goodies. He was shocked to see me but even more shocked to find out he was done with work. He goodie bag told him we had a plane to catch so we had to get going right then. He wanted to know where we were going but I told him he would find out at the airport. I could not keep it a secret once he knew what plane he was getting on. We were headed to San Diego!!
The weather was so perfect. The company was great and I was not at work! We went to Sea World, to the beach, Rob and Rick went kayaking, we went to Coronado Island and finally to the USS Midway. I really wanted to walk on the beach holding hands at sunset but that did not happen. I was just so glad to get away with my hubby and not to have his game to compete with. It was so relaxing and nice. I hated for it to end and I really hated to go back to work. I am so burned out and not enjoying my job much anymore. It is the same thing day in and day out and it is getting kind of old. Four years..I can do hard things right.
I have to tell you though that we were both surprised before we left. My kids knew about my plans and poor Skyler got the worst of it. I would not let him stay home alone so he was being sent to my bosses house. Not a good idea and I won't do that again. He did not want to go but said he would cause I needed time away. However, after I picked up Rob, we came home to a note on the door stating that all this time I thought I was fooling dad when he was really fooling me. We came inside and he had taken pictures from off the walls and placed them all around the living room. There were wedding pictures as well as all my children. There was a photo album on the table with even more pictures in it. He was hiding in his bedroom. He finally came out and had tears running down his cheeks. He wanted us to know that he loved us and was proud to be a part of this family. He really does have a soft side. Rob and I both cried too and were very touched. I don't' think I have ever seen that side of him before. It was awesome.
So, now life goes on. Boyd ran a 5K race today on his mission as part of a mission wide challenge. He has never liked to run let alone run that far. I am so proud of him. he even beat my first time that I ran He has been losing weight and seems so very happy. I love my boy so much and miss him like crazy. How proud I am of him.
We miss the girls too. We get to talk to them every night but it is not the same. They will be home in four weeks for Cortnie's birthday and I can't wait. I miss having someone to talk too and go shopping with. How I love my girls.
Life is good! I am happy and want those around me to be the same. I love to serve and love my sisters. How thankful I am for all of my blessings.
Rob was working that day so I had made arrangements with James for him to be off early. I went to visit him with a coke and a bag of goodies. He was shocked to see me but even more shocked to find out he was done with work. He goodie bag told him we had a plane to catch so we had to get going right then. He wanted to know where we were going but I told him he would find out at the airport. I could not keep it a secret once he knew what plane he was getting on. We were headed to San Diego!!
The weather was so perfect. The company was great and I was not at work! We went to Sea World, to the beach, Rob and Rick went kayaking, we went to Coronado Island and finally to the USS Midway. I really wanted to walk on the beach holding hands at sunset but that did not happen. I was just so glad to get away with my hubby and not to have his game to compete with. It was so relaxing and nice. I hated for it to end and I really hated to go back to work. I am so burned out and not enjoying my job much anymore. It is the same thing day in and day out and it is getting kind of old. Four years..I can do hard things right.
I have to tell you though that we were both surprised before we left. My kids knew about my plans and poor Skyler got the worst of it. I would not let him stay home alone so he was being sent to my bosses house. Not a good idea and I won't do that again. He did not want to go but said he would cause I needed time away. However, after I picked up Rob, we came home to a note on the door stating that all this time I thought I was fooling dad when he was really fooling me. We came inside and he had taken pictures from off the walls and placed them all around the living room. There were wedding pictures as well as all my children. There was a photo album on the table with even more pictures in it. He was hiding in his bedroom. He finally came out and had tears running down his cheeks. He wanted us to know that he loved us and was proud to be a part of this family. He really does have a soft side. Rob and I both cried too and were very touched. I don't' think I have ever seen that side of him before. It was awesome.
So, now life goes on. Boyd ran a 5K race today on his mission as part of a mission wide challenge. He has never liked to run let alone run that far. I am so proud of him. he even beat my first time that I ran He has been losing weight and seems so very happy. I love my boy so much and miss him like crazy. How proud I am of him.
We miss the girls too. We get to talk to them every night but it is not the same. They will be home in four weeks for Cortnie's birthday and I can't wait. I miss having someone to talk too and go shopping with. How I love my girls.
Life is good! I am happy and want those around me to be the same. I love to serve and love my sisters. How thankful I am for all of my blessings.
Wednesday, August 5, 2015
And Now It's Over
Summer is officially over when the school bell rings and the homework begins. I so was not ready for school to start this year. I was enjoying just working and coming home to my boys each night - not having to worry about anything else. We had a busy summer but it was so much fun. I love to vacation and get away from "normal life". I love to be with our families. Nothing means more to me than spending time with them. I miss having my daughters home so much that I will gladly go to Utah now any chance that I get. I keep trying to figure out a good reason to go to Virginia too, but those keep getting shot down. However, I hope to be there next summer to bring my son home.
Today is a special day.....today is the day I became a mother. It is hard to believe that 25 years ago a little girl was laid in my arms with big brown eyes and lots of brown hair. At that moment, I wanted nothing more than to cherish her and take care of her always. I had such dreams for our family and still do. I have been fortunate enough to have that same experience three more times since then. Nothing can compare to a new baby in your arms. The pain of bringing that child into the world vanishes the minute that happens. I sometimes wish I could go back to that stage in my life. There are so many things I have learned that I would do different. I miss my little children and the fun that we had. I feel like I have missed out on so much of their lives with having to work. Due to work I was always so busy at night that I did not give them the time or attention that they deserved. I did my best - that was all I could do - but many times I feel like I could have done more. How I loved the dance recitals and soccer games; the choir concerts and pink curlers; the squeals of receiving a new toy or new game.....memories is what they are now. Hopefully my children have good memories too. But today, I celebrate my daughters birth. I know that she always dreamed that she would be married and have a child of her own by now. How it breaks my heart that she does not. I want to buy wedding dresses and put flowers in her hair. I pray night and day that her prince charming will come along and steal her away from me....actually, both of my girls. Someday......
Our last summer vacation was so awesome. We did not really do anything which was great. The temple wedding of Devin was wonderful and so was Brinleys baptism. Two ordinances that perfect a life. I always love having Taysha run into my arms when she sees me....Didi, Didi she yells. I hope we have that special bond her whole life. I loved being in my parents home and just talking to them or walking mom into the church knowing she does not go much. I ate so much ice cream and junk food while we were there but it was worth it. I loved to see the smiles on the faces as we bonded together. Brothers and sisters; parents and children. Of course, spending time with my daughters was priceless. They had to work while we were there but every chance we could, we were with them. It was fun to light of fireworks and to BBQ burgers and dogs. I so miss living near my family. You would think that after 24 years that I would be used to it but I am not. My heart longs to be with them so badly. I wish we could move this year. Four years seems like so far away. I wish Rob would study for his computer license so we have a job to turn too in four years. I am really holding to the hope that we will leave here then. My biggest fear is that by the time we do, it will be too late. I want to be close to my mom but her health is so bad. My parents are aging and I wonder what four years will do for them. I really long to be close to my sister so we can just go out to lunch one day or jog together in the park. Dreams are a wonderful thing and I pray mine will come true soon. I just have to hold on.....and keep dreaming.
Boyd is doing great. Last week was his hump day - one year in the field. When I look back on it, the year itself has gone by quickly yet it seems like forever since I had those huge arms around me and hearing him say "I love you mom". How I miss that. I really hope the next year will fly by. I want to go pick him up yet if that is not our fate, I just look forward to that grown boy walking down the stairs in the airport. I can hardly wait to see his face and hear his voice. I am so proud of him. Last year at this time I was constantly in prayer that he would make it just to Virginia. He has made it - and he is happy. He has his struggles with companions and investigators, but he loves his mission. He has grown so much. You can hear it in his testimony and see it in his pictures as another 1 1/2 inches has been added to his height. I am so proud.....it is so hard to have him gone but I would never trade his experience for anything (kind of like Skyler with EFY - he comes back a different person and one that has a stronger testimony.)
Life is good....I sometimes get very lonely as my boys here at home play video games every night and I am left alone. I should be out visiting my sisters but I can't do that every night. Instead, I am trying to lose the weight I put back on so my treadmill and I are good friends again. I am happy. I am tired of working so much but hopefully that will be changing soon too. I want to feel like I can take a day off of work when my boys are home (four day school week for them now) and enjoy some time with them. We are truly blessed....even after all the car problems and money spent this summer....how can I complain about all that I have been given. Thank you Heavenly Father for my family, for my health, for my job, for the gospel...for LIFE. Here is to many more years of the same.
Today is a special day.....today is the day I became a mother. It is hard to believe that 25 years ago a little girl was laid in my arms with big brown eyes and lots of brown hair. At that moment, I wanted nothing more than to cherish her and take care of her always. I had such dreams for our family and still do. I have been fortunate enough to have that same experience three more times since then. Nothing can compare to a new baby in your arms. The pain of bringing that child into the world vanishes the minute that happens. I sometimes wish I could go back to that stage in my life. There are so many things I have learned that I would do different. I miss my little children and the fun that we had. I feel like I have missed out on so much of their lives with having to work. Due to work I was always so busy at night that I did not give them the time or attention that they deserved. I did my best - that was all I could do - but many times I feel like I could have done more. How I loved the dance recitals and soccer games; the choir concerts and pink curlers; the squeals of receiving a new toy or new game.....memories is what they are now. Hopefully my children have good memories too. But today, I celebrate my daughters birth. I know that she always dreamed that she would be married and have a child of her own by now. How it breaks my heart that she does not. I want to buy wedding dresses and put flowers in her hair. I pray night and day that her prince charming will come along and steal her away from me....actually, both of my girls. Someday......
Our last summer vacation was so awesome. We did not really do anything which was great. The temple wedding of Devin was wonderful and so was Brinleys baptism. Two ordinances that perfect a life. I always love having Taysha run into my arms when she sees me....Didi, Didi she yells. I hope we have that special bond her whole life. I loved being in my parents home and just talking to them or walking mom into the church knowing she does not go much. I ate so much ice cream and junk food while we were there but it was worth it. I loved to see the smiles on the faces as we bonded together. Brothers and sisters; parents and children. Of course, spending time with my daughters was priceless. They had to work while we were there but every chance we could, we were with them. It was fun to light of fireworks and to BBQ burgers and dogs. I so miss living near my family. You would think that after 24 years that I would be used to it but I am not. My heart longs to be with them so badly. I wish we could move this year. Four years seems like so far away. I wish Rob would study for his computer license so we have a job to turn too in four years. I am really holding to the hope that we will leave here then. My biggest fear is that by the time we do, it will be too late. I want to be close to my mom but her health is so bad. My parents are aging and I wonder what four years will do for them. I really long to be close to my sister so we can just go out to lunch one day or jog together in the park. Dreams are a wonderful thing and I pray mine will come true soon. I just have to hold on.....and keep dreaming.
Boyd is doing great. Last week was his hump day - one year in the field. When I look back on it, the year itself has gone by quickly yet it seems like forever since I had those huge arms around me and hearing him say "I love you mom". How I miss that. I really hope the next year will fly by. I want to go pick him up yet if that is not our fate, I just look forward to that grown boy walking down the stairs in the airport. I can hardly wait to see his face and hear his voice. I am so proud of him. Last year at this time I was constantly in prayer that he would make it just to Virginia. He has made it - and he is happy. He has his struggles with companions and investigators, but he loves his mission. He has grown so much. You can hear it in his testimony and see it in his pictures as another 1 1/2 inches has been added to his height. I am so proud.....it is so hard to have him gone but I would never trade his experience for anything (kind of like Skyler with EFY - he comes back a different person and one that has a stronger testimony.)
Life is good....I sometimes get very lonely as my boys here at home play video games every night and I am left alone. I should be out visiting my sisters but I can't do that every night. Instead, I am trying to lose the weight I put back on so my treadmill and I are good friends again. I am happy. I am tired of working so much but hopefully that will be changing soon too. I want to feel like I can take a day off of work when my boys are home (four day school week for them now) and enjoy some time with them. We are truly blessed....even after all the car problems and money spent this summer....how can I complain about all that I have been given. Thank you Heavenly Father for my family, for my health, for my job, for the gospel...for LIFE. Here is to many more years of the same.
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