Coming too Fast

So, almost five months ago Cortnie opened her mission call to find out she was going to Nebraska.  We thought that five months was sooo far away, but man it has flown by (at least for me).  Now we are only ten days away of what will be one of the hardest days of my life.  I am starting to feel the pressure now and getting very emotional.  Today has been a very hard day for me and I am glad that it is almost over.  Today was farewell day at church....

Cortnie wanted both Rob and I to speak with her which I did not think was fair.  I wanted to just be a mom today and sit back where no one could see me while I cried.  We had a little wager going on as to who would cry first or the most and who would not cry at all.  Well, we all cried but I am happy to say that I cried the least.  I am so proud of myself today.  I made it through almost my whole talk without shedding a tear.  However, when I said the words "It takes faith for a mother to send her daughter out on a mission to teach others who are waiting to hear the truth"  that did it for me.  I was so glad that I was first cause then I could sit back and cry and not have to talk.  The kids sang a couple of primary songs - one of which was talking about serving a mission (We'll Bring the World HIs Truth).  They did very well but I will tell you that when they turned to walk off the stage, Skyler's eyes were very red and swollen and he was crying.  All of my children broke down today - we are a very close knit family so this is going to be very hard on all of us.  In fact, by this time next Sunday, all good-byes for them will be said and we will be in Utah.  The rest of the farewell went very well.  I could not help but think as Cortnie was talking that she looked so much like a missionary. She also speaks like one. She is going to be so good and is so ready to go. 

My heart is breaking but I am being brave.  I am trying to limit by tears to my bedroom when I am alone.  I don't want others to see my sorrow and worry about me. This is going to be a very long week as we do the final stuff for her to go. We are also having an open house on Friday night and family Christmas on Saturday.  I just can't believe that it is so close and our time together is drawing closer to an end.  It will only be 18 months but it is still going to be very hard.  Faith....it will hold me through and we will survive.  I am glad to have my family by my side with me.  I will need their shoulders to cry on.