Is It all a Dream?

Wow...it has been so long since I have written anything but life has been so crazy.  It seems like everyday we think we will have some free time and then the day is gone.  I am so grateful though to be alive and to be well.  I am healthy and happy. We have jobs and a home and can provide for our children.  Sometimes I wonder why I am so blessed (and other times like this past few weeks, I sometimes have to really think about those blessings as the trials come.)  I am truly grateful for the plan of our Heavenly Father.  He knows what we can handle and when we have had enough, he steps in with angels or with His love and things are okay once again.  I have to be thankful for that. 

As i think about what has happened or what is going to happen, I wonder if it is all a dream.  I sometimes am afraid to breathe or blink for fear that I will wake up and the dream will be over.  Sometimes I wish it was a dream and things could change, but right now, I don't want it to be a dream.  I want it to be real.  My son...Elder Beatty...comes home in less than 72 hours!  I honestly can not beleive that two years has already gone by and that I will be able to see and hold him again that soon.  It truly seems like just a few months ago that he left and now he will be home.  He has grown so much that I am afraid i might not know him.  I tell him I am afraid to breathe when I think about it as I keep thinking it is not real.  I might not show it much, but I am about to burst and am so excited.  I have been putting it in the back of my mind so I don't dwell on it but it is hard.  People ask me if I am excited.  Duh....why would I not be?  I have not held my son for two years. The last time I was in his presence, he walked away from me crying as he was so scared and wanting to be my little boy still.  Now, he leaves his mission still that scared person but a man. He is afraid to come home and start a whole new life again after living a mission life for two years.  Yet, he is wanting to see his family.  I could not be more proud of my son and what he has accomplished. He truly beat all odds by staying on his mission. I will never forget that phone call of him crying and begging me to bring him home.  It was the hardest thing I have ever done to tell him he needed to stay.  I knew it would change his life and he would change others.  I have seen that happen and now I am a little afraid about who he really is.  Will he still be my little boy?  Will he still love me and let me take care of him?  Will he still want his mom...I sure pray so cause I still need him.  I have written to him every week for two years and sent him tons of emails each week.  I pray our bond will last forever. 

I will have to say that I really only thought Satan worked on you when they were preparing to go but he sure is loving us right now.  We have been hit with trial after trial for the past month. We had to replace the alternator in the truck, the shower leaked through the wall so we had to cut a hole in the wall to repair it; the toilets got leaks after our vacation causing us to retile our bathrooms sooner then we wanted; and just recently the water pipes for the irrigation system decided they wanted to leak causing a 80K water usage and huge water bill. We have since repaired them both at the cost of digging up our sidewalk and some grass.  My poor husband is such a handyman and I am so lucky that he is.  I can not imagine the repair bills at the cost of hiring someone.  He is so worn out and tired but keeps going.  He choose to only work three days a week this summer to have time to himself and get things done he wanted to do, but has spend every day off repairing or replacing something.  All the money he earned extra went to pay for the cost of all the repairs.   I will admit that I have sometimes wondered why we have to be picked on, but then am reminded that we have the extra money so have not had to dive into our savings.  I have felt sorry for myself but yet quickly try to remind myself that we have been blessed.  Today at church, we had an angel pass an envelope to another member askign them to give it to us.  It was cash - enough to cover the latest repair. I quickly cried and realized once again I am blessed.  I am silently hoping though that our trials are over and we can relax now.  I just want to bring my son home. 

On top  of all the repairs, we have lots of family coming and a huge vacation to go on.  Rob's family will be here the day after Boyd gets home for two days.  We will play with them. Then we head out to Florida to catch a cruise ship to go to the Bahamas with our children for a week.  I am so excited to bond with all of my children again.  The day after we get back my family will come for five days and be here for his homecoming.  We are having Skyler's court of honor for his Eagle on Saturday, Boyd's talk in church on  Sunday, an open house for him on Monday plus feeding everyone. I have made banana bread, about 16 dozen cookies, rice krispies and other snacks for both activities.  I am so excited to have my family come and Rob's too. The last time we had company was two years ago when he left.  We just do not get visitors very often.  They are all staying here so we have been preparing the house and trailer for them to sleep. We will walk all over each other with so many people here.  We have two small bathrooms and three bedrooms. i want them here but it will be stressful. I just have to remember to be kind and patient.  When they all leave I will go with Boyd to the temple and relax for two weeks before I move him to school.  Life....so busy and crazy...but so awesome. I will gladly give up sleep and rest for my family and cant wait for them to come.

We did have a nice vacation to Utah in June before the tornado hit. Skyler went to EFY again and Rob and I just relaxed and spent time with each other.  I love to go away and just relax. I am up to six weeks of vacation starting next month and i plan on using it all.  We are doing another trip with just adults to Hawaii in January and I can't wait for that as well.  I have decided that I really need to take more vacations.  We have the money and I don't need the stress.  I just want to be happy. I try to find things to keep myself busy while my boys play their games but sometimes I get lonely. I plan on taking trips to see my kids in Utah and spend time with them.  I just want to have family time. It is more important that anything that I ever could buy. How grateful I am for them. I am excited to have them come and can't wait to spend time with them.  For now, I will try to breathe and hopefully continue the dream if that is what it is. I want to be happy. I will continue to try to remember to count my blessings and to thank my Heavenly Father for them.  Thank you ...and welcome home son.