So Much Missed Time

Wow....I have been thinking I need to update my blog but I did not realize it has been so long since I did.  Now my mind is racing trying to figure out what I should write about and what has been going on.  Life is always busy but I will say it seems a little bit slower. I spend most nights wandering the house or fighting the urge to eat cause I am bored. Rob and Skyler play their games every night so I am kind of left alone.  It really stinks sometimes but I try to not let it bother me.  Weekends like this one do though as it was conference weekend and Saturday night was always girls night out while they watched priesthood session.  I miss having my kids home so much.  I miss quiet talks with them and just time spent together.  We have been fortunate enough to see them every month this year so that has been great but it is still hard to have them away. 

The holidays were wonderful.  We were all together again for the first time in five years.  My adult children still act like little kids and get so excited about Christmas.  They want to get us out of bed way early in the morning and still like to jump on us to wake us up. This year Christmas was on Sunday so we wanted to go to church.  I was shocked that Skyler wanted to wait until after church to open presents but was very glad to do so. We did still have Santa come before church though.  Going to church on Christmas morning really helps you remember the true meaning of Christmas.  It was such a great day and I just basked in having them all here.  They all got spoiled rotten as usual and were very happy with their gifts.  Cortnie sticks out more than any of them.  I had purchased a Miss Piggy puppet that I found out of the blue. She loves Miss Piggy.  It was so fun to watch her open it (and it was the last gift that she grabbbed to open too).  As she lifted the lid she squealed then pulled her out of the box. As she did so, tears were rolling down her cheeks as she now had her very own puppet.  Her dream has always been to make a costume for Miss Piggy.  I am so proud to say that she is on  her way there. She applied for five internships through Disney and is in the final running for one of them. She has made the cut out of thousands of applications to get to the last stage.  She is so excited and we are so proud. Of course we want her to get it more than anything in the world but just to get this far is incredible. If she gets it she will work in the costume shop at Disneyland for seven months.  Her final interview is Wednesday and I am praying so hard for her.  This is her lifelong dream. She graduates from college in four weeks as well and then it is on to better things. I hate to see her give up her job as it is such a good high paying job but it is not what she wants to do forever.  She has become accustomed to the money though.  I was thinking earlier tonight that our children are the first to graduate and serve missions on Rob's side of the family and I could not be more proud.  I am truly blessed with some great kids.

Brittnie is still working hard for Uncle Rick and trying so hard to be involved in her ward. She was told in a blessing awhile ago that if she would get involved she would be blessed with her dreams. She will be 27 this year and i know her heart is broken that she is not married and has children. That is all she has ever wanted. My heart hurts for her when she tells me of friends getting engaged or wishing she had a date.  I wish so bad I could find her a wonderful young man and see them married in the temple.  I can not wait for the day to buy a wedding dress and be the mother of a bride.  I cry if I think about it too much as I wonder now if it will happen as she gets older each day.  I plead with our Heavenly Father to help her but can't do it for her. She loves her ward and is very involved - has even had parties at her home, but still no young man will ask her out.  Pretty sad that the dates both of my daughters have had can be counted on less then two hands. Please, Father, hear their prayers.

Boyd is home and trying to adjust to college life.  He has found an apartment for next year which I am grateful for. I am very grateful for my parents taking care of him but he needs to be more involved. My biggest worry is that he does not know his roommates and my girls have not had much luck with that.  He needs someone who is outgoing and will invite him along.  So many people make fun of Boyd but he is the most kind hearted person I know.  He will do anything for anyone at any time.  He is struggling with work and on his final probation.  One more strike and he is out of a job. I pray so hard every day that he will not mess up again. he can't afford too. He has also struggled with classes and is having to retake one of them.  His grades were not good last semester and he almost lost his scholarship.  He applied again to get into BYU but did not make it.  My heart aches for him as well as i know what his dreams are. It hurts to be a mother and watch your kids dreams slip away.  He is doing better at school now but still needs a social life.  How I love him!

Skyler is my 17 year old that thinks he is an adult.  He did finally ask me to help him get a job at my store so he is working now. He will tell you he hates the job but he does like the money.  He is going through this stage where mom is annoying and should not question him about anything. His grades have dropped and he was my straight A student. He is no longer valedictorian.  He got his ACT scores the other day and they are a 30. That is off the charts.  He can get into any college he wants with that kind of score and a high GPA. He could get great scholarships as well.  However, he has decided he does not need to work as hard so his grades are not the best. If i question him or ask him about it, he gets very upset with me. I used to have such a close relationship with him but it seems to be gone. However, it has gone over to Rob now so that is a good thing.  At least he will talk to him.  I just wish he would get his desire back for school cause I see opportunities slipping away. 

Two weeks ago we took Skyler back for the surgery to remove the bar from his chest.  The weeks before surgery were not very pleasant here at home.  He finally told me  he had been having night mares about the surgery for four months.  He hated to go to sleep at night cause he knew they would start. He was not getting any sleep so was sleeping in class. He was afraid he would not wake up from being put to sleep or would not be able to breathe right again. He as very scared.  The morning of the surgery I was calm as could be. I felt the love of our Heavenly Father and knew all would be okay.  We waited forever then they took my little boy away.  We saw him next in the recovery room. He as crying from pain and even said a few choice words.  He also had tears on his cheeks saying that he could actually breathe like a normal person and he did not think he would be able too.  Skyler had also told us a few months ago that he did not think the church was for him and he wanted to not be forced to go but decide on his own. We asked him to keep coming to church and to say his prayers.  That fight has stopped somewhat but I know he is still trying to figure it all out.  When he awoke from his surgery the one think he asked for was a prayer.  Deep inside he knows the truth. One funny thing he said was that he did not like his dad too much....he was drugged up.  He slept most of the next day then was perfectly back to normal.  I am proud to say all is well and he is doing great.

Rob and I are so enjoying watching our children grow up. There are many days I wish they were young again and we could do thing different. I wonder if we had lived somewhere else would they have better social lives; would they be married or have different views of the church; would we be grandparents? I know we can't change anything but we can hope for a bright future.  It is hard to believe that in only one and a half years we will be empty nesters.  I am not looking forward to that at all.  Rob and I went to Hawaii with my family in January. It was so great to have my parents there with us.  They were not able to do much but just having them around was so awesome.  Rob and I spent a lot of time with them so our trip was a little bit different this time then the last time we went. Hawaii is so beautiful and so peaceful.  I did not want to come home other than to get back to my kids.  We have talked a lot about it and are trying hard to save up to take our children there next year.  It will be our last big vacation before Skyler goes on his mission (hopefully). We want them to see the beauty that is there and to just relax and have fun.  Who knows, maybe we will have to book an extra space just in case some big event happens before then.  We are trying hard to pay off bills so we can move in a couple of years. I got a nice big raise at work and have discovered that almost all of it goes to the government for taxes.  We were paying stuff off so well too but now it is tight again.  My life in Bullhead has been good but I am so ready for a change.  Work is getting to me and I just want to be with my family.  I am so afraid by the time i finally get to be close to my parents, one of them will be gone.  I cherish every time we can see them though and love them so much. I am so grateful that families are forever.  Life is good.....and the future looks even better.