Wishes and Dreams

As Cortnie would say (quoting her famous Disney quotes), "when you wish upon a star.....".  Sometimes I wish that I could wish upon a star and all my dreams would come true.  Don't get me wrong, I have a wonderful life. I have a great husband whom is my best friend, and four beautiful children. We are all healthy and we have good jobs.  However, sometimes it is hard not to wish for something more....like maybe a day off during the week instead of just weekends, or maybe less computers in my house so there was more family time, or maybe more activities for my children to participate in so I can go and embarrass them more.  I so enjoy being a mother and taking care of my family.  It is not always easy, but it is worth it.  I will gladly do it day after day (sometimes with complaints) and year after year.  My most important wish and dream - to be with my family eternally.

Another month has gone by and I am not sure that I can say it went by quickly.  If I look back at it I guess that is has in most regards.  In the aspect of Cortnie being gone, it has been gone slowly.  I know that in a few months I will look back and say that it all went be too fast.  I really can't believe we are halfway through this month. It seems like it was just Christmas but that is seven weeks ago.  It has been another month full of work and little play but I will have to say that I don't think I am nearly as busy now as I was ten years ago, or even a year ago.  I do have time to myself each night and can actually get into bed at a decent time.  I still seem to not get everything done on the weekends that I want to do so some of it carries over into the week.  However, I have at least one night a week where I am home by myself now so I am able to get lots done then too and not feel guilty.  I do hope to make some changes, with Rob's help, to the electronic use in our home.  My kids are forever on their computers or televisions or game systems. They don't see to know how to play with each other or friends and they have no social life.  That really bothers me - especially since I have daughters who are older now and have only gone on like three dates.  It needs to change...

Can I say anything wonderful has happened this month?  Off the top of my head - not really.  The boys have been playing church basketball each week and really enjoyed that.  I went to the tournament yesterday and it was lots of fun to watch them.  They have both really improved over the past year.  They were making baskets and free throws and playing as a team. Skyler even made a couple of three point shots. I will have to try to go to more games next year - it was lots of fun and exciting to watch them yesterday.  I hate to see it end as it was something they liked to do and looked forward to each week. 

The flu bug did hit my home unfortunately. I don't believe it was as bad as some people though so I am grateful for that.  Rob and Boyd were both done one weekend with it and Britt has part of it now.  It is the worse bug that I have ever seen.  It is mostly viral so there is not really anything that doctors can do for it either.  When it finally gets bad, after about three weeks, then antibiotics will work.  We are still so busy at work but I have finally decided I am not staying anymore and I leave when my shift is over.  I need to be home with my family and have time for myself. I started running right after school and that was really nice.  I need to do it everyday like I used too. I feel so much better and have a little bit of weight from the holidays still that needs to come off.

Boyd went to a culinary competition in Scotsdale a week ago.  He wants to be a chef so this is what he needs. He practiced quite a few times at home and lots at school. They were required to make omelets.  He got two perfect tens on his as wells as a nine, eight and seven.  His knife skills were not the best though so his overall grade was a little bit lower.  He had the time of his life though and can't wait for the next one in March.  I am hoping to drive down for part of that one, but dont' know if I will make it.  It will depend on gas prices and money. We are tyring to take it easier with Cortnie being gone and not having quite as much money.

I decided for Valentines this year I wanted to do something different. Rob and i went out the night after Valentines since it was a weekend and they are easier to go out than weekdays.  So, I cooked a candle light dinner for Rob and the kids. The food was only red heart pancakes, red scrambled eggs, plus dipping chocolate for strawberries, bananas, crackers, marshmallows etc.  I turned off all the lights and lit the candles. It was fun when they came out to hear their responses.  Skyler wanted to turn the lights on so he could see what he was eating but we would not let him.  Boyd and Brittnie both thought it was cool.  I thought it was tons of fun.  We had also received a letter from Cortnie that day with videos in it of her so after dinner, with the lights still off, we watched those. She looks so good and had that special glow about her.  I cried when I first saw her as I wanted to take her and hold her.  She talked just like a missionary and told us all about her miracles and the first people she challenged to baptism who said yes.  It was so cool and I can't wait for more.  I love hearing from her and "chatting" with her each week.  Tomorrow is email day so I wont' sleep much tonight.  I do still miss her so much but I am okay.  If I think too much about it, the tears start to come, but they are not sobs anymore.  Just silent tears running down my cheeks. 

I am so happy and proud to be the mother and wife of the Beatty bunch!  I look forward to every other Friday more than I can say so that I get date night with my husband.  We don't do much but I love just being with him and no one else.  The other weekends we try to do movie night or something like that with our kids.  I love them all so much.  I miss my extended family and hope to some day live closer to them.  Until then, we plug on.  We take one day at a time and try to be happy and make the most of the day.  I am so grateful for each one and for my Heavenly Father for giving them to me.