Can you believe it is Christmas Day again already? It does not even seem possible that the presents are all opened and the house mostly cleaned up. Christmas came and went so quickly this year - except for one part. I am patiently waiting for Cortnie to call. I will say that I am very anxious as I keep wandering around the house. I am trying to pack up some things for our trip, but don't want to go too far away from the computer. What if I miss the Skype call? I will not miss her again this Christmas. She told us she would call about an hour ago but nothing yet. Everyone keeps checking the computer to see if she is on so I know that it is not just me. I can hardly wait - but at the same time, I am sad. I have not seen her pretty face since Mother's Day and my heart is at peace. I am worried that seeing her will open up the wound again and make it hard to move forward. Her mission president even said he does not like Christmas cause all the missionaries get "trunky" after their phone calls and have a hard time getting back into the work. I ....WAIT, there she is!
Wow, she looks so good! She was so happy and laughed and yes, she cried. It was so wonderful to see her face and actually see her as a real person instead of just someone in my mind. She said that she missed our hugs - if she only knew how much I miss those too. I don't think I will stop hugging her when it comes time to pick her up. She told us all about her Christmas - the sleepover at the trail center, the opening of gifts, the candy that we sent and she did not get much of, the breakfast casserole, the telling of traditions and other sisters wondering why she does all of that. I just wanted to soak it all in and not forget about it. We opened our presents while she was online and it was wonderful. Boyd got an Elder Beatty apron, Britt got Cortnies' missionary ring, Skyler got a shirt, dad got a DVD and I got the most beautiful Christmas hymn book. And then there were the letters that she wrote to each one of us. We read those when she was gone and I cried some more. That hour went by way to fast. As it got to be close to the time for her to leave, the tears started to fall down her face. That started my waterfall too. She did not want to hang up and said she could not do it. We blew kisses and told her Ohana and then she was gone. I found comfort in Rob's arms but it still hurts so bad. I MISS HER! I pray that the next five months go by just as fast so soon I can have her in my arms again....until she falls asleep. Please, keep her safe Heavenly Father - she is my baby girl.
Now to snap out of this for the rest of my children. We need to have a fun day. I need to quickly pack for our trip to Utah and then it is games and movies. We all had a wonderful morning. I woke up to my children laughing as they were pushing each other off the beds and waiting to wake us up. They even gave us an extra half an hour this year. They all got what they wanted - well, except for Brittnie cause she never tells you what she wants so you just get her whatever. I love watching them get excited and happy. I love Christmas.
I am so thankful for our Heavenly Father's son and His love. Without him, we would not have today. I pray that we can enjoy the next week and our families. Merry Christmas!
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Thursday, December 5, 2013
We Made It.....so far
Wow, if you look at the last time I wrote you can tell I have been one busy little girl. In fact, I hardly have time to breathe it seems like. I work all day then come home to work all night - whether it be church or family. My entire Sundays are spent doing church stuff but service is always a good thing. I just feel like I am letting my family down and they need to be first. This month is really bad as I have the needy families to buy for, the ward Christmas party, activities at work and my family. There is only three weeks until Christmas and I am so not ready. Usually by now, I am done.
However, I needed to stop for a moment tonight and express my thanks for all that I have. One year ago today I left my baby girl as she walked up the sidewalk of the MTC to begin her service to our Heavenly Father. That was one of the hardest days of my entire life. I cried so hard that night and today have shed a tear of two. I still miss her like crazy but my heart is at peace. I know that she is happy and she is taken care of. I know that she loves her mission and her only desire is to become more like Christ and bring others to him. A year ago, I was not sure she would make it. She was so homesick and lonely. It was so hard to try to encourage her every week when inside I was so torn apart. I wanted to just tell her to come home but I knew that I could not do that. Now, I want her to stay and be the best missionary she can be. Don't get me wrong, I am counting the months until she comes home but I do not want either of us to dwell on that. I am so proud of her. She finally had her first baptism a couple of weeks ago and to see the glow in her face was so worth it. I want more of that for her. We are being blessed greatly here as she serves. Our money woes seem to be disappearing. WE still have no air conditioner or heater, but the medical bills are all wiped clean. We went from having to pay almost $1200 down to $72. I can not explain it other than that my Heavenly Father is answering my prayers. I just pray that He will continue too.
I remember so well holding Cortnie in my arms as she cried that last night we were together. I tried to be so strong for her, but the tears silently rolled down my cheeks too. I held her so tight and did not want to let go. The next morning the house was so quiet as we all got ready to go knowing what lie ahead of us. It was oh so hard and my heart still aches...it will until I get to hold her in my arms again. She is a trainer again and is even learning some Portuguese. She is so happy and even her migraines have gone away. Miracles and blessings.....
This past week was Thanksgiving and we had my family here - Tina's family and my parents. My parents have not been here for a few years. It was so awesome. My tiny house was crowded but we had a great time. I love playing host and cooking for everyone. I loved running a 5K with my father and Tina. I love shopping with my sister. I love my little Taysha to come running into my arms and give me the biggest squeeze. She truly knows her favorite aunt. I just loved it all. I have so much to be thankful for that I could not even begin to put it on paper. I know where it all comes from and I try to thank Him everyday. Hopefully we will continue to smooth sail along and blessings will continue to come.
We found out Brittnie is doing okay. We switched her doctor and he does not want to do any meds or anything right now. He just wants to watch it and see if it changes in four months. After going through many tests we do know she has thyroid nodules but they seem to be okay. They are not growing and her activity level seems to be calming down. I pray that it will continue that way. The boys are growing like weeds. Skyler does nothing but sit in front of a computer. I tell myself every night that I am going to play with him or read with him and then something comes up. I have to change or he will never have a life. Boyd is able to start his mission papers now but is very hesitate. I am not sure if he does not feel worthy or if he is just scared. He told me he does not want to leave all of us but that he wants to go. I pray every night that he will have the courage needed and take that giant leap of faith.
Life is good. I have a great husband and wonderful kids. I still feel bad we cancelled our 25th anniversary trip - we will never have another 25th anniversary. We just felt like we would need the money for medical bills. Little did we know. I just hope he knows how much I love him and treasure him in my life. I am not complete without him. This is the best time of the year - from being thankful to giving service. How I love the holidays - and my countdown is begun too cause in 19 days I get to talk to my daughter!!
However, I needed to stop for a moment tonight and express my thanks for all that I have. One year ago today I left my baby girl as she walked up the sidewalk of the MTC to begin her service to our Heavenly Father. That was one of the hardest days of my entire life. I cried so hard that night and today have shed a tear of two. I still miss her like crazy but my heart is at peace. I know that she is happy and she is taken care of. I know that she loves her mission and her only desire is to become more like Christ and bring others to him. A year ago, I was not sure she would make it. She was so homesick and lonely. It was so hard to try to encourage her every week when inside I was so torn apart. I wanted to just tell her to come home but I knew that I could not do that. Now, I want her to stay and be the best missionary she can be. Don't get me wrong, I am counting the months until she comes home but I do not want either of us to dwell on that. I am so proud of her. She finally had her first baptism a couple of weeks ago and to see the glow in her face was so worth it. I want more of that for her. We are being blessed greatly here as she serves. Our money woes seem to be disappearing. WE still have no air conditioner or heater, but the medical bills are all wiped clean. We went from having to pay almost $1200 down to $72. I can not explain it other than that my Heavenly Father is answering my prayers. I just pray that He will continue too.
I remember so well holding Cortnie in my arms as she cried that last night we were together. I tried to be so strong for her, but the tears silently rolled down my cheeks too. I held her so tight and did not want to let go. The next morning the house was so quiet as we all got ready to go knowing what lie ahead of us. It was oh so hard and my heart still aches...it will until I get to hold her in my arms again. She is a trainer again and is even learning some Portuguese. She is so happy and even her migraines have gone away. Miracles and blessings.....
This past week was Thanksgiving and we had my family here - Tina's family and my parents. My parents have not been here for a few years. It was so awesome. My tiny house was crowded but we had a great time. I love playing host and cooking for everyone. I loved running a 5K with my father and Tina. I love shopping with my sister. I love my little Taysha to come running into my arms and give me the biggest squeeze. She truly knows her favorite aunt. I just loved it all. I have so much to be thankful for that I could not even begin to put it on paper. I know where it all comes from and I try to thank Him everyday. Hopefully we will continue to smooth sail along and blessings will continue to come.
We found out Brittnie is doing okay. We switched her doctor and he does not want to do any meds or anything right now. He just wants to watch it and see if it changes in four months. After going through many tests we do know she has thyroid nodules but they seem to be okay. They are not growing and her activity level seems to be calming down. I pray that it will continue that way. The boys are growing like weeds. Skyler does nothing but sit in front of a computer. I tell myself every night that I am going to play with him or read with him and then something comes up. I have to change or he will never have a life. Boyd is able to start his mission papers now but is very hesitate. I am not sure if he does not feel worthy or if he is just scared. He told me he does not want to leave all of us but that he wants to go. I pray every night that he will have the courage needed and take that giant leap of faith.
Life is good. I have a great husband and wonderful kids. I still feel bad we cancelled our 25th anniversary trip - we will never have another 25th anniversary. We just felt like we would need the money for medical bills. Little did we know. I just hope he knows how much I love him and treasure him in my life. I am not complete without him. This is the best time of the year - from being thankful to giving service. How I love the holidays - and my countdown is begun too cause in 19 days I get to talk to my daughter!!
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