Have you ever felt like one day just drags right into the next? That there is not time to take a drink; to look at the sunrise or sunset; to smell the flowers; to give a hug to someone you love? Right now it feels like we are just one big calendar and the days are complete full. We laugh when we talk about the fact that it will be "another three weekends before we get a break" or "that it is that time of night again and we are still up"? I want so badly for life to slow down. I want to take a break. I want to go to a beach and have a tropical drink while hearing the oceans waves. I have missed that so much this year. I really need some alone time with my husband. Our 28th anniversary is in 10 days. I booked a one night get away in the mountains for us, but due to all that needs to be done as well as needing finances elsewhere, I had to cancel it. I really was looking forward to it.
However, I am so blessed so how can I complain. Yes, I am a traveler and I need my vacations, but I am lucky enough to be able to do so. We do have another trip coming up in a month back to Orlando. That is not a bad thing at all, as we will get to see our grandson and Rob will be able to give him a name and blessing and all of our children are going, but it is not my tropical get away. (That comes next year when we go to Fiji - which hopefully will really happen). I am so excited to see Cortnie, Jonathan and Myles and to be there a week with them. We will go to the amusement parks, relax in the pool, go to church, have a large family BBQ and just be together. I will get to cuddle my little Myles and pray that he does nor cry the whole time as I will be a "stranger". I got a large enough place to stay that they are going to come stay with us so we can be together even more. The days till that happen are going by way to slow.
Myles has had his moments. As with any baby, it is an adjustment. It is still so hard when Cortnie calls in tears as she is exhausted and he won't sleep. His little body is struggling to poop so that is a huge worry also. He does not like to take naps during the day, but usually sleeps really well at night. I just wish I was closer to be able to take him more so Cortnie could get more rest. She goes back to work this week (although it is from home) so it will be interesting to see if she is able to do anything since he likes to be held the whole time. She does call me everyday on a video call so I am able to talk to with him. He has started to smile and I am pretty sure he knows my voice. He is growing so fast!
Brittnie just had another birthday. I will say, it breaks my heart as each year goes by and she is still alone. She tries so hard to not show that it bothers her but deep inside I know it does. She is so strong, so kind, so giving. I wish she had friends to do things with but I do my best to try to be that friend. Yesterday we went to a "Banana Ball" sport game as she has gotten into that so much lately. It was a lot of fun and great to take a break from how busy life is. I am still hopeful that she will one day find her prince and ride away on her white horse, but until she does, I am happy to be her mother and friend.
Boyd is still working very long hot hours, but he gets up everyday to do his job. I have not seen him this committed to anything for a while so it is nice to see him accept responsibility. He was hoping to lose a lot of weight being outside and walking all day long but that has not happened. He is still my "hugger" and rarely a day goes by that he does not give me a hug.
Skyler has finished school and is trying to find a job. He has not had any luck and might have to move back him. We are just struggling trying to pay all of his bills on top of ours. I worry about him coning home though as I don't want to see him depressed. I just pray everyday that he will find something soon.
As for me, I am putting one foot in front of the other. I try to take care of the yard, the garden, the house, work from 8 to 5, work in the temple, do the shopping and cooking, and whatever else that I can so that Rob can concentrate on his markets and side business. I did take a few days off a couple weeks ago to be at a market with him and that was not tons of fun but so nice to be together. I am still struggling with my thoughts of leaving the temple and the fact that I am not getting tons of answers when I ask. So, I just try to smile, to move on, to do the best I can all while sometimes feel like I have nothing left to give. But, with the help of our Heavenly Father, I know that I will prevail. I know that He will give me strength to make it through each day. I just need to have the faith and perseverance to do so.
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