Holidays - I wish They were Back

I have heard so many people in the past week say how thankful they are that the holidays are over.  I wish so bad that they were still here. I love the holidays!  I love to shop, to cook, to be with family, to wrap presents, to give surprises, to make treats, to travel - I love it all.  I wish I could have it way more often.  However, the check book would not make it and I would probably grow tired of it.  I for one though am not happy that they are over. I love spending time with my family and this year especially, was really hard to leave. 

We had a wonderful Christmas and New Years. Cortnie had an angel at work offer to work for her so that she could come home for Christmas.  She still had to work part of the week though so we picked them up way late on December 23rd.  That gave us Christmas Eve together and all of Christmas Day. I am not sure how it happened, but I had everything done before they got here.  I was so ready for Christmas it was kind of scary. I was able to devote all my time to them while they were home and we had a blast.   We went to movies, had a nice dinner, played games, laughed and cried.  It was so great.  Christmas morning I am happy to say that no one got stuck in the window sill and they were kind enough to let us sleep until seven.  I wonder if my children will ever out grow the need to get up early on Christmas day - oh well, it makes us all stay young.  We had wonderful gifts and so much thought into giving them.  Everyone came away happy and I did not go broke this year. It is amazing how I was even able to decide what to give them before they even asked.  It was kind of fun.  ';

I have to admit I was a little bit antsy all morning as I know that Boyd would be calling.  He put the frosting on my Christmas cake. I could not believe my son!  He looks so awesome and is so happy. He has lost weight and looks like a man - not my little boy anymore.   We laughed and cried and told stories. We opened gifts and laughed some more.  We were privileged to get to talk to him for almost three hours.  What a great way to spend Christmas afternoon.  As it came time to say good-bye though, my little boy came back.  He had tears rolling down his cheeks that I could not wipe away.  I wanted so bad to hold him and hug him but all I could do was try not to cry and tell him I loved him.  he gave family prayer in Spanish before he left and I cried some more. Brittnie said it was easy not to cry though when you had no idea what he was saying.  We made hearts with our hands and held them near our hearts.  Then he was gone - and I cried some more.  I miss him so bad - but THIS YEAR he comes home. We have made it through three Skype calls with only one more to go. We have less than 200 days left.  I can do this - we can do this together.  My heart broke for him though as he was all alone once again. 

We spent the rest of the holidays visiting family. We took the kids to Panaca first to spend one day with grandparents there.  It is hard to go there and not feel left out but we go cause we love them. We then got to spend a week in Utah with our daughters and other relatives.  We went to temple square, to movies, to parties, out to dinner, shopping, and just sitting around talking.  I loved every minute of every day. I was so not ready to come home.  As it was time to say good-bye I cried but tried to hold it inside.  I wanted to be strong for my girls.  I hated to leave them though - I worry about them so much. They need to find friends and they need to be happy. I don't hear that in their voice very often and it worries me.  I had silent tears rolling down my cheeks for about a half hour. Rob lets me cry  - he knows it hurts me to leave them.  I feel alone some nights since the girls are both gone.  I do my thing while Rob and Skyler bond on their games but it gets lonely.  I miss spending time with them and doing things together.  My goal for this year is to find more quality things to do together as a family. We want to do a big vacation when Boyd gets home before he leaves for school. I  just pray he gets into BYU - he has had so many disappoints in his life I don't want there to be another one. I want him to finally feel like he has done something right. 

2015 was a great year for us but not without its trials. We had surgery, numerous car accidents (one of which was Boyd on his mission right before Christmas - no big deal just went over a curb and took out a mailbox totaling the car and Cortnie two days before then in a snow storm on the freeway) - but no one was hurt. We had many times we were traveling the vehicles went wrong but we were always okay.  I can not even begin to explain our financial situation other than to say I know we are blessed for having a son out and paying our tithing. We had a daughter move out of the house to go find her dream and hopefully find someone to share it with.  I am so happy we had 2015.  I am excited for 2016 and the chance to continue to serve and to grow.  I want my family to be happy. I want to see them grow up and get married and serve missions and hopefully soon have grandbabies to spoil.  I am so thankful for my best friend to be by my side as we reach our goals together.  Life is good - I pray that it will continue to be.