Awesome Weekend!

So, I have had a life long dream of attending General Conference in person.  I have wanted to be in the same room as the prophet and feel the spirit so strongly.  Well, the opportunity came up and I snatched it.  We were on Fall Break from school and I was able to get us tickets to go - so I took time off from work and away we went. It was great too cause we were able to spend some time with Cortnie and that was nice.  I really have missed her too.  The only thing that could have made it better was to have had all my children there to experience it together - but Boyd knew we were going and encouraged us to go. I had told him I did not want to go without him but he wanted us to go.  It would have been great to have him by my side.  I have really missed him the past week or so and I think it was in part due to the trip. 

Anyway, we took a fast trip to Utah which was only four days.  I hate to drive up and back that fast, but I would gladly do it again.  It was so great to relax for a couple of days and just hang out.  Saturday morning we listened to conference on TV then headed out during the last speaker - the downfall of going to conference.  Tina and Ashlyn went with us too.  We got there with lots of time to enjoy the music and the spirit in the room.  Soon enough, everyone was standing....the prophet was coming.  My breath was taken away as President Monson entered the room. We were way up high so could not see his face clearly, but I knew it was him. You could just feel the spirit so strongly in the room.  I actually almost started to cry.  I really would have loved to have shaken his hand....but being there was great.  The talks for that  session were wonderful as always and Cortnie got her dream of listening to Elder Holland in person.  I have to say his talk was my favorite. I cried during that one as he told of the time President Monson rode home on an airplane in his slippers as he had given his shoes, his extra suit and shirts and coat to someone who needed it.  Talk about Christlike.  That is what I want to be like.  I was so touched that I could not sing the song and did not want to leave.  It was awesome!! I promised  Boyd we would take him when he gets home and I can hardly wait.  It was somewhat comforting to know though that he was at least watching conference at the exact same time as us - so in a sense we were doing it together. 

I did have one of those special tender mercies though the next day.  Like I said, I had been missing my son quite a bit and I long so bad to feel his arms around me and have a big hug.  I was allowed that to happen to me as I slept early Monday morning.  I had the most vivid dream of him giving me the biggest hug.  I could feel his arms around me as he hugged me really tight.  I knew that the hug would not last and that I would have to let him go....and as soon as I did, he was gone.  I then woke up.  I felt so warm and fuzzy as I woke up and so wished I could close my eyes and feel him again.  I know that it was my Heavenly Father's way of letting me know that Boyd was okay and that he was happy.  He was trying to give me that peace that I needed. Then yesterday I got a picture from Boyd of Winnie the Pooh and Eyor telling me that even if we are apart, "I'll always be with you."  I had actually sent that to Boyd and he drew it from that picture and sent it back to me.  It hit really hard too - I cried for quite a while and sobbed when I went to bed.  I know that my son is where he is supposed to be, but I  miss him so much.  I keep waiting for the time to start going by quickly but it is not - it is dragging on.  I miss him and wish he could be my little boy again.  However, I want other families to be eternal too and I know that he will find those families and make it happen.  Somedays it is just so hard.......

I will forever be grateful for wonderful weekend topped off with a most powerful dream....tender mercies indeed.

Tender Mercies

Yesterday we had the opportunity to talk to Boyd during his layover in Atlanta.  I will have to say, he was very nervous and scared and cried a whole lot. That is so not what this momma wanted to hear.  I prayed so hard the rest of the day to know how to help him. I belong to a group on facebook that is for mothers of missionaries and I felt prompted to post a request on there for mothers to pray for Boyd to be comforted and for him to feel the spirit.  The story unfolds from there......and this is the angel who was a part of our Tender Mercy from the Lord.  I will forever be grateful to her....


So with all of that said here is how my day of service with the missionaries came to be.... While we were traveling home from dropping our daughter off at BYU-Idaho, in the middle of no where Wyoming, my phone rang and I saw on caller ID it was the Sisters.  My first thought was to ignore the call, what could I do so far from home, but something said answer it.   Sister Nelson (a sister missionary in our stake) was on the other end.   She said "Sister Kemmey, is there any way possible you could drive to transfers this month"?  I said well I am not home right now, we are out west, but heading home even as we speak.  I will look at my calendar, we should be home by the weekend and I will let you know.  Now, just a little history, I LOVE Sister Nelson.  She is one of those sweet sisters you could and would want to claim as your own.  Well as we got home, life got in the way, kids heading to school, going back to work, and trying to adjust back to a schedule, and although I didn't forget, I just brushed it aside....Until...last week when I had the distinct impression to call her and tell her I would be more than happy to drive Richmond.  (It's about an hour and twenty minutes away).  I will be honest, it was like as if I was talking to you, someone saying you NEED to do this.. How do you argue with the spirit...YOU  DON'T.  We had to meet at the church at 11 this morning.  Yesterday, I texted Sister Nelson and asked "Hey do they feed you guys at transfers".  She said "No", but we have strong stomachs.  Well my first bought was, this is over the lunch hour and although they are missionaries they are still kids.  I put my thinking cap on and quickly thought of making lunch sacks with all the goodies a good homemade lunch could provide, right down to homemade pumpkin whoopee pies and M&M's.  Don't worry there was fruit and a deli sandwich as well.  While I was out last night running errands I happen to call my sister Amy and told her what I had planned and asked her what she thought..She's crazy like me, and would have done the exact same thing.   Infact, I told her I was pulling an Amy.  As we were talking she said hey I am on this Facebook page called missionary momma's and there was this mom who posted her plea for prayers on behalf of her son who was headed to the Richmond VA mission.  I said to her, wait "I am taking sisters tomorrow, what's his name"  I will find him. Last night your son was on my mind the whole night,  I did not rest well, knowing I needed to find him and let him know there were many of us thinking of him and praying for him. When I got up this morning, somehow I knew deep inside I would find him and that all would be well.  As the Elders and Sisters piled in my van, I told them I had a huge favor to ask.  I said "guys there's an brand new missionary, he's homesick, scared and brand new.  I need you to take this bag and write something loving and encouraging to him...You guys remember you first days in the mission. "  They were all so nice and kind...I was touched to read the sweet things they wrote. So as this whole story has come full circle the LORD knew I needed to be the one to drive today...It's the TENDER MERCIES of the spirit.  Sometimes we doubt that still small voice.  For me, I am so thankful I listened.

She also snatched some pictures of him and his new companion which are priceless....I will say, he looks like he might have lost some weight. 

It is Raining...inside and out

Today was such a great day to take off of work...the rain has been coming down slowly all day long but the waterfall in the house has not ceased.  Just when I thought I had things under control, the floods come along and the rivers flow once more.  It truly has been a long day but one that I would not trade for anything else. I was able to hear my sons voice today and that is worth a thousand waterfalls. 

Boyd left the MTC today for Virginia and was able to call from Atlanta.  His day started at 2:00 this morning as they wanted to make sure they had plenty of time at the MTC to get through security and immigration.  I don't think anyone planned on the fact that all the flights were delayed due to the rain there so he sat at the MTC for almost five hours.  Poor kid!  I immediately checked his flight status when I finally decided it was crazy to stay in bed any longer as I was not sleeping due to worrying about him.  When I did, I started to cry.  I found out his flight was delayed then realized he would have less than an hour in Atlanta so there would be no way for him to call home.  I was devastated!  I called missionary travel to find out what they do in that circumstance as I did not think they would make their connecting flight. I was informed that the later flight had already been changed and he would still have his 2 1/2 hour layover in Atlanta.  That hopefully meant he would still call.  I will have to say, that was the longest morning ever. I kept checking the computer to make sure his flight was okay and to see if it had landed yet.  I actually jumped when my phone finally rang. 

His voice was on the other end and I don't even think he said hello.  He wanted to tell me that he only had five minutes on the free phone that he was on and was going to try to call back when he figured out another way.  What!!  After waiting all morning, I might only get five minutes with him.  I was trying to be positive and say at least it was five minutes, but I wanted more.  We talked for a few minutes and I told him what to do to get a calling card and then the phone went dead.  I was praying that he could figure it out but my phone was silent for what seemed forever.  After about twenty minutes he called back.  We immediately called Rob and Britt (tried Cort but she was in class) and we were all on the phone with him - Skyler too.  he cried for most of our conversation.   We tried so hard to buoy him up and make him happy but it was so hard.  We asked questions about the flight and the MTC but he just kept telling us he was nervous and scared.  He cried a lot and that was so hard.  He knew it was time to go but you could tell he did not want to hang up.  Why is it that phone calls or Skype sessions go by was too fast.  We finally said good-bye and I told him that I loved him so much.  We tried to tell him to be happy and go live his dream and not be afraid.  Then the waterfall really came.  I actually sat on the kitchen floor in the corner and cried hard.  Skyler was so sweet and came to sit next to me and let me cry on his shoulder.  Twice more during the day, he came to me and just help me in a hug as I cried again.  I know that Boyd is supposed to be there, but I miss him so much.  It is so hard!!!

I also truly wonder if he will make it.  My heart shouts yes, but my doubtful mind shouts no.  He is so tender and so lonely you can just hear it in his voice.  We got a phone call tonight from the mission home letting us know he was there. I  asked how he was and the kind sister said he was pretty quiet.  Tomorrow he meets with the mission president as well as the nurse. I  just wish they would give him some other type of medication.  This one is not working.  I pray that they can help him through this and that he will be given a wonderful companion....who is funny, loving and patient. Boyd really needs that.  Tonight my heart aches again for my little boy.  I wish I could just give him one more hug and tell him that I love him.  I want so badly to take away his pain - but only he can do that with our Heavenly Father's help. He needs to learn to rely on him.  Hopefully the floods will stop soon.

Other than that, we are doing well. We are as busy as ever.  I figured out this past weekend, that we will be gone every weekend (at least one day of it) for the next two months. That is so crazy!!  I guess it will keep me busy though and help pass the time. I worry about Cortnie in Utah, have had some trying times with Skyler this week and worry about Britt ever having a social life.  I know my prayers are heard but sometimes the answers are not fast enough for me.  Patience....that is one thing I don't have a lot of.  I am just so grateful for a Heavenly Father who will help me along the way. 

Sad...but Happy

Wow, it seems like it has been forever since I have written and especially since I took Boyd to the airport...but it has only been just over two weeks.  I will have to say that it has been a very long, hard two weeks emotionally and spiritually.  My life is still one big rollercoaster ride but I am ready to get on the kiddie one and have it sail smooth for awhile.

It all started out two days after we dropped Boyd off. I was at work and was told I had a phone call.  I went to the phone to ask the costumer to wait and the reply was...okay mom.  It was Boyd.  My heart sank and I wanted to cry. I finished with my costumer then answered the phone. I tried to be as cheery as a possible good knowing that on the other end was going to be sad boy. Boy....was I right but I had not idea it was that bad.  As soon as I answered, he started to cry.  He begged and pleaded with me to bring him home. He told me that he could not do it and that he just needed to come home for a year, go to school and then go back out. He said that he was only there cause I wanted him to be and that he was not ready to do all of this.  My heart was broken. I wanted so badly to cry with him and to tell him to get on the next plane - but I knew that I could not do that.  If he came home, I knew he would not go back out and he would regret it so bad.  We talked for quite a while about what was going on and how he was feeling.  He continued to beg me to bring him home but I was strong.  We talked for well over an hour and finally I got him calmed down.  I told him about the promises he got when he was set apart and that he was told the there were people in Virginia that would only accept the gospel because of him.  That seemed to be the turning point....he asked me if he really said that and I told him that he had.  I wanted so bad to hug him and tell him it would be okay - and he told me that he missed my hugs so much.  I was not hiding it but told him I missed him like crazy too but that he had a work to do.  He finally calmed down and agreed to stay for the weekend. President Pratt asked if it would be okay to give him some meds to calm him down and I agreed as long as Boyd said it was okay.  It was so hard to hang up knowing that he was hurting so bad. That he hated life right then and probably me. That he wanted to be my little boy again and cuddle in my arms.  I cried so hard the rest of the day. 

That began a very long weekend of fasting and prayer. I do not honestly believe that I have ever fasted and prayed so hard in my life.  It was also the weekend I was taking Cortnie back to school (yes, two kids in one week out of my home) and that was so hard. I did not want to go as I was afraid he would call again.  I did get another phone call on the way to Utah from President Pratt.  It was that night. He told me that Boyd seemed to be doing better and was going to keep praying about what to do.  He was being taken under the wing of his district leader.  I fasted all day on Friday, ate very little on Saturday, then fasted again on Sunday.  I asked for other to join in my fast and prayers.  Sunday after church, I took my scriptures and went to the grounds of the Provo Temple.  I prayed and read all the scriptures I could find about peace.  There were so many missionaries there - coming over from that MTC to walk around and take pictures.  It was amazing the peace it brought to me seeing them and picturing my son doing the same thing.  I had a feeling he would be okay but I was so skeptical.

Later that night by phone rang again and it was from Mexico.  President Pratt was on the line. He told me that my son was a totally different person and was doing so much better.  He also told me that Boyd had told him to tell me that he was staying.  Tears of you ran down my cheeks.  That little part of me wanted to scream no though - I am sorry, but it did.  I would love to have my son home.  However, he had made that commitment to serve our Heavenly Father and I know it will change him forever.  Since then we have been able to email chat once a week and it is paradise.  It is so hard when it is time to go - that hour flies by.  He has told me that he knows he is supposed to be there and go to Virginia.  He is still struggling so bad with the language though and even wrote a letter home to Rob to ask him for suggestions.  Now my prayers are turned to Spanish.  I want him to succeed.  He had a hard week last week as one of the sisters who was going with him to Virginia did end up going home and his companion was thinking about it too. He was playing the other card this time and was trying to help them want to stay. 

So, life goes on.  A big part of me is empty and I wish so bad I could have another hug and just hear his voice. I miss my teddy bear and my daughter at college.  My house seems so quite here but we are trying to get involved with our other two children too.  I would much rather be with my kids doing things than anything else.  We are supposed to go to a getaway in a couple of weeks (just Rob and I) and I am so afraid of going.   I don't like to leave my kids alone or be without them.  I love my  husband but I worry way to much.

For now, I pray that my Heavenly Father will protect us all and especially help Boyd.  I will be okay as long as I know my children are all right too - and my best friend

My Little Boy

My heart is so empty tonight as it aches to feel the arms of my sweet son around me once again. Today has been one of those days that you wish you never had to do or go through.  It truly was one of the hardest days of my life.  How I wish I could have just one more day with Boyd or even turn back the time clock a few years.  I wonder what I would have done different.  I always regret it when they leave and wish I had done so much more with them.....but I just have to hope it was enough.  I will forever be grateful for the most wonderful summer that we have had together as a family.  We have created some special memories and I will cherish those forever.  It will now be two years before we are complete as a family again and even then, children will be off to school and living their own lives.  I don't like the fact that they are growing up. Rob even echoed that comment today. 

This past month has been a whirlwind of more traveling and getting Boyd ready to go.  I took 12 days off of work to go to Utah to be with my children. We took Skyler to EFY and it was so awesome for him.  I have never seen him so touched by the spirit and so tender hearted.  He cried so hard when we left and asked if he could go for two weeks next year.  I will gladly pay that much money for my children to walk away with testimonies that are even more sound.  My greatest goal in life is to see all of my children go to the temple and stay close to the church.  He truly came back a different person and I pray he will hold onto it. 

We also spent time getting Cortnie ready to go back to school and getting her settled in my parents basement. She has decided to live with them this year.  I finally had to put a limit on what she was spending as it was getting a little overboard.  I hated to do it, but with me not working much this summer, the checkbook is a little bit short.  Her room is done now though and is really cute. She has found a new job that she will start next week so I will be taking her back to Utah this weekend.  Two children in less than a week to say good-bye too. I dont' like that at all.

However, my heart is dwelling on Boyd tonight.  I do pretty good for a while but then suddenly the tears start to come. I dont' feel like eating and just seem to be wandering around today. I feel kind of lost.  These past few weeks I have wondered how Boyd truly was and prayed so hard that he would be ready to go.  Boyd carries the same tender heart that I do and worries the same as me.  We are/were truly close.  As we went to shop for his clothes, he did not seem excited at all. In fact, he did not want to go. He wanted me to do it all for him. Well, I could not do that as he needed to be measured for his suits and pants as well as shoes.  We were able to get it all done in one day though (the major stuff anyway) and it cost a pretty penny.  I am so glad we started savings accounts for them a few years ago. The money went far enough to get everything that he needed - but a bike. 

Boyd had taken on new role the past few weeks. He was so kind and loving and helpful around the house.  He told me one night, he was cleaning the bathrooms cause I had been doing so much and he knew I needed help.  It brought tears to my eyes.  I was so worried about him going on his mission though. He just never did seem excited. I would try to talk to him about it and he said he was fine.  He kept telling me he wanted to go and that he was not going to cry.  Well, we know much better now. 

It all started with his "farewell" at church.  Rob and I both spoke and then it was his turn.  I did pretty good with my talk and only broke down one time.  That was at the end when I read his scripture, Joshua 1:9 that talks about that we are never left alone.  Boyd has always had a hard time making friends and has been bullied.  He told me his biggest fear was to get out on his mission and be a loner.  I have prayed so hard that others will love him as I do.  Boyd's talk was so sweet. I wish I could have recorded it. It was all about his scripture and that he knew Heavenly Father would be with him.  He used quite a few tissues that day.  I finally was seeing the side of Boyd that was scared about his mission and that he was not all wonderful about going.  It made me worry even more. 

The next two weeks went by way to quickly and that brings us to this week. I took the two days off before he left so that I could be home with him.  We packed, finished shopping, played games, went to dinner - I wish we would have done so much more. I just wanted to spend all my time with him.  Monday night he came into our room and sat on my bed with me.  He started to cry.  He told me he had cried himself to sleep the night before as he was scared to go. He was afraid to leave us and not be able to talk to us.  That is my biggest challenge too.  We talked for over an hour and tried to calm him down.  I told him that we would be just fine and that I would always be in his heart.  I would be only a prayer away.  I promised to write tons of letters and send pictures.  How I wish I could actually talk to him. Christmas is way too far away for that.  he felt somewhat better and was able to sleep that night. 

The day before he left (yesterday), I let him sleep until almost 11:00.  I knew he would not be doing that again for two years.  That worries me too as Boyd needs his sleep.  We stayed together again that day and he gave me probably 20 hugs.  He would gett teary eyed and the tears would silently roll down his cheeks.  it was finally time to for him to be set apart so he put on his new wardrobe for the next two years also.  As we went to leave, he quietly walked back to his bedroom.  He stood at the door and looked inside and started to cry.  I put my arms around him and led him to the car.  He met with President Miller first and told him his biggest fears. President Miller told him that he just needed to close his eyes and jump.  That it would be okay.  His blessing as he ordained him was so great. I wish I had a copy.  He promised Boyd that he would learn the language, that he would be a fine a missionary, that there were particular people in Virginia that were waiting for only him to teach them the gospel.  He told him his family would be okay and he would be protected.  Boyd was so grateful when he was done. He said he told him just what he needed to hear.  We then said family prayer in our little circle and it was time to say good-bye.  I think the kids were trying to be brave and strong for him as they did not cry - well, Cortnie did. She told him it really was the best two years of his life.  It was then time to head to Las Vegas.

Boyd had to be at the airport at 4:00 this morning so we slept in a condo over night.  He talked nonstop the whole way there - out of nerves I think.  As we got to the condo, we dressed for bed and then the tears started again.  My grown boy looked like he was three again.  His face was so sad and so scared. Rob gave him a father's blessing and we did record that one.  He told his son that it was his time to go and serve.  He told him we would miss him so much and were so proud of him.  We then headed to bed - but not to sleep.  Boyd curled up on my shoulder just like Cortnie did the night before she left.  He started to cry - really hard - I mean he was sobbing and shaking.  He told me how scared he was about not making friends, about leaving us, and missing us, and so much more. I just gently held him stroked his head.  I tried my best to calm his fears and to talk to him.  Every so often, I would cry with him.  He lay there for over an hour. Finally, exhausted, he fell asleep but I know he did not sleep well.  He kept whining in his sleep too. All too soon, it was time to get him up - and I was afraid he would not do it.  He just laid there and I could tell he did not want to go.  A leap of faith though - he finally arose.

After showering and eating, we said another prayer.  Rob blessed  us all to be safe and to be calm.  He pleaded with our Heavenly Father to watch over his son and take care of him.  We told him we loved him and were so proud of him.  It took us awhile to get to the right gate at the airport to check him in, but finally we were there.  We asked for a security pass so that we could go back to the plane with him, but they only gave us one.  Rob said there was not question as to whom should go.  As we got to the security gate, it was time for father and son to say good-bye. They both held each other for a long time and wept on shoulders. Rob watched us as far as he could see us and Boyd turned to wave.  I learned later that Rob said he went to a quiet area and cried for his son.  We managed to get to the gate but with only about 10 minutes to spare.  Boyd anxiously looked around for other missionaries and I prayed so hard to see one.  No one came though - that meant he was alone on the first leg of his flight. We sat in the chairs and talked about what he needed to do and held hands.  Silent tears were there as he laid his head on my shoulder.  They called for his boarding group but he stayed put. They called the next one and when they were almost through, he let out a big breath and stood up. He pulled me into his arms and gave me the last hug I would get for two years.  We both said we loved each other and would miss each other.  He then stood tall and walked straight ahead.  As he got through the gate, he turned to give me a big smile and waved good-bye.  My heart melted and left right then. I waited for his plane to pull away and then found the loving arms of my husband.  We cried together and talked about how much we would miss him.  Our world will not be the same until he is back in our arms. 

We were lucky enough to get a short email from Boyd this afternoon letting us know that he had arrived safely.  He told us his Pday would be on Tuesday and he would write more than but he had only five minutes to tell us he was there. He said he loved us and missed us and then was gone.  My son...the missionary.....so proud of him but my heart is so empty. I love you son....serve well. 

Awesomeness!!

Exhausted.....but oh so happy. These past few weeks have been some of the best I have ever had. The times just seem to keep getting better. I was really tired and worn out, but a gracious husband let us stay home this weekend to recover and rest a little bit. I am so glad - but the adventure continues soon.  It is hard to believe that in the past month I have been in Nebraska, Utah, Nevada and California - all different hotels and different fun times.  It is hard to put into words the happiness and joy that I have right now.  Our lives are ever changing and hopefully the roller coaster ride will continue to be fun and adventurous.

I have high school graduate number three in my home now.  I still can't believe we have that hurdle out of way for another child.  Four more years and then they will all be done.....that thought makes me very sad.  Anyway, Boyd's graduation was great.  My parents came down to spend a week with us to be here for him and that was wonderful too. My mom seemed to be doing better and was happier. I was glad they were here with Cortnie too as my little girls seems kinds of lost.  She is adjusting better now but it took a few days.  Graduation day for Boyd was also junior high promotion day for Skyler.  They did nothing wonderful for the junior high kids which was kind of sad since my son was the valedictorian of his class.  We all know it so I guess that is enough.  He graduated with straight highs for all three years. hopefully it will continue in high school.  I was so proud of him. He has really grown up this year and started to look like a teenager and not my baby anymore.  Another sad moment....

That night we headed to high school graduation for Boyd.  Boyd has this habit of storing his sun glasses on his head backwards when he is not wearing them.  I told him he was not allowed to wear them that way at graduation but he proved me wrong. They get to pick the order that they march in so they can march with their friends.  Of course, my son and his friends picked the end of the line.  We waited and waited to see him come down the aisle. We were lucky enough to be right along the edge where they come down.  As he rounded the corner, I noticed he was not wearing his sunglasses - on his head anyway. They were on the front part of his cap!!  What a character.  He laughed when he saw me and that was all I could do too. I was able to give him a high five as he walked by and that was way cool. The ceremony was okay - lots of laughs and excited students. Finally it was time for them to walk across the stage and get their diploma.  My little boy was going to be a high school graduate.  I was still in awe but so proud of him.  We fought for good grades the last semester but it all paid off.  He was done and was now onto the next stage of his life. 

We headed to Vegas next a couple of days later for Boyd to go through the temple to take out his endowments.  We went up the night before so it would not be as hard on  mom.  Rob's parents were supposed to come also but were not able to make it at the last minute.  I know he really wanted them there but it was okay.  We spent the night before talking with Boyd about his big step and what would happen the next day as well as what it would mean. He was making a promise with our Heavenly Father that should never be broken.  As we were walking into the temple the next morning, I asked him if he felt strange and he said that he did.  He was excited but nervous too.  The same thing we all are when we go.  My mother was also very nervous as she had not been to the temple for quite a few years.  It was like her going for the first time all over again and she was afraid she would be a challenge to everyone.  It was special having her as well as Rick and Tina there too.  Of course, Cortnie was there which was great. I thought maybe Brittnie would have decided to go but she chose not too so she was outside with the kiddos.  The ceremony was pretty cool.  I kept glancing over at Boyd to see how he was doing and he was all smiles.  You could tell he was trying to take it all in and learn as much as he could.  When we were able to meet in the celestial room, my heart was once again full of pride as my little boy was now endowed from on high.  He looked so angelic all dressed in white and glowed with a happiness from inside.  I wish we could have taken pictures of him that way, but we did not.  We did take some outside the temple all dressed in his church clothes though and that was great.  We then headed home for the adventure of the next day - Cortnie's "homecoming" in church. 

Church the next morning was very nice.  I still am in awe at the testimony of my daughter. She amazes me at how much she has come to love our Savior and learned to apply the atonement in her life. I am still waiting for her to teach me how to apply it better in mine.  Skyler and Brittnie also spoke that day and their testimonies are so strong also. I will say that I have been very lucky in the fact that my children have come to grasp the gospel and have stayed strong in it.  I just pray that the always will. My eyes were wet that day as I listened to them speak.  Cortnie and I sang a duet together also which was neat. I have missed singing with her and after we got started, it sounded really good. We did a song called the "Greatest Gift" and it talks about the greatest gifts we have received and can receive. She took the liberty to change the words in the last verse to say that she  has had her chance to show Him, the gratitude she feels by spreading the word with all she knows. It also talks about the angels that helped her along the way.  I looked at Rob during the song and their were tears spilling from his eyes as he was so proud of her and glad she is home.  I felt the same way - but I could not cry and sing at the same time.  It was a very touching meeting. We had some of her friends over after church for a BBQ and that was fun too. One of them came to church and even took a Book of Mormon. The last time they saw each other was when she left so it was fun to hear them back together.  Now if I could just get her to adjust back to life and be happy.   I am so afraid she is going to slip into her old ways and do nothing but computers, books and TV. She lost so much weight I hate to see her gain that back too.  I just keep praying all will be well....you never stop worrying about your kids.

My parents decided to stay an extra day so that was fun to have them here for one more day even though I had to work.  I felt bad not spending time with them that night, but I had to pack us for our next adventure.  We were off to Disneyland!  Cortnie made us promise we would not go there and when we gave the kids their choice of a vacation, that is what they all wanted. We stayed in one of Tina's nice condo again so that helped with food since we could cook there. There were even pools on the roof that you could watch the fireworks from.  What can I say about Disneyland? It is just so much fun. We all have our favorite rides but mine was closed for repairs - Space Mountain. The lines were long but they went by pretty fast.  It was fun to see the changes they have made since we were there last.  It is exhausting to walk around all day, but yet it is so much fun. They have added a new place to their park and it is Cars Land.  It was soooo cool.  It looks just like the movie Cars - especially at night.  Instead of characters coming out to greet you, the vehicles do.  There are only three rides there but two of them are no amongst our favorites.  We watched parades and fireworks and got sore feet. We went when the park opened and stayed until the closed. It was tiring but so worth it.  One day we took the kids to the beach and just hung out there for the day.  It was fun to see them in the water (not for me) and riding the waves.  It was just really great to be away from work and from life and just relax and do what we wanted.  I so could use time like that once a month.  However, all too soon our five days were over and it was back to the real world.  I came home, washed clothes, worked a couple of days and packed again......

This mini trip was not planned at the beginning of the year but was thrown in when Coby called to say he was taking his family to the temple to be sealed.  There was not way I was going to miss that.  I am not sure where they came from (hidden blessings), but we had even flight points to fly everyone for free. My kind boss even allowed me an extra day off of work that I really should not have been able to take but he knew how important it was for me.  We fly up after I got off work at noon in time to be at the temple by 8:00 that night.  We cut it pretty close but were able to sit in the temple for about 10 minutes before going to the session.  It was neat having Boyd and Cortnie there with us.  I kept watching my brother knowing he is the type that takes pride in what he wears and how he looks - wondering how he would react.  He has changed and seems more spiritual.  It was neat to be there with them while they took out their endowments. The next day we spent getting family pictures taken up the canyon and I am excited to see those.  We went bowling and to a movie - and just sat around to visit.  It was relaxing too. The highlight though was when we went back to the temple on Saturday for the sealing. Oh my goodness - talk about spiritual and tears.  We have waited for this day for 18 years and it was finally here.  Coby and Candace were sealed together first.  It was so neat to listen to their sealer - he was meant just for Coby cause he was funny and enjoyable to listen too.  After they were sealed, the kids were brought in.  They were all dressed in white - so beautiful and peaceful.  As they all knelt around the alter and placed their hands on their parents, the tears would not stop.  They were finally an eternal family.  Their oldest daughter Taylor is almost 18 - she has waited for so long.  She cried more than anyone I think.  It was so special and not a dry eye in the room.  This is what the plan is all about - becoming eternal so we can all live together again some day. 

I long for the day when I can take my daughters as brides to the temple to see them sealed to their husbands.  It hurts me that they do not date - they have no social life. I love having them here in my home - but I worry for them.  They need someone to steal them away and then give my grandbabies.  My heart aches for them  - but all will happen in due time. 

I am so blessed - this month has been one I really can't put into words.  I pray the memories will be in my head forever and the feelings in my heart.  We have a couple weeks off before we do it all again - off to Utah for Skyler to go to EFY and shop for a mission.  In just six weeks we do it all again - I am so not ready and the tears have started to come when I think about it just like with Cortnie.  I will miss my little man - but I know the blessings for us as well as others await at the door. 

Happy Times!`

Where do I begin?  My heart is so full and my mind seems so cluttered.  I wonder how I will make it through all that is going on but yet I feel at peace.  I have decided that taking it one day at a time is the best for me and I try not to dwell on what is happening too far down the road. I know that it is there and I know it will be busy, but it is okay and all will be well.  I am so happy  and love the peace in my heart.

She is home!!!  It is still so hard to believe that my beautiful baby girl is sitting in the other room and not miles away.  We have had such a great week!  It is so awesome to be a mother.  It all started last Sunday which was Mother's Day.  We were able to Skype with Cortnie on the computer for an hour. It seemed kind of strange to know what to say as we would be seeing her in just two days. She looked so pretty and so happy.  We heard all about the families she is teaching and the love she has for the sisters who have become her dear friends.  It was so bitter sweet and even though I still cried when she was gone,  it was not like before.  I would see her in two days!  That day was also special as Boyd was ordained to be an Elder at church.  It is hard to believe that he is old enough to be an elder. He can now give blessings and go to the temple.  So hard to believe.  Rob gave him such a wonderful blessing full of fatherly love.  He has such a great gift when it comes to blessings and what he has for our children.  His advice is powerful.  His son towered over him when he was done to give him a hug and it was priceless.  We also went to seminary graduation for Boyd that night .  I think it finally hit me there that he was almost done with school and would not be going back.  How is that possible?  I can not be that old.  Boyd had to speak at graduation and did an awesome job.,....without any notes of any kind.  He is going to be a great missionary.  It was such an emotional and memorable Mother's Day - I loved it.

Rob and I headed out to Omaha the next night. I was so thoroughly exhausted. I do not know how I made it through work that day - I am positive someone somewhere got extra pills in the bottles as I kept falling asleep standing up.  I knew that I would sleep as we traveled.  I have such a hard time doing that lately too but not this time. I slept almost the entire way to Vegas and then again on the plane for the two hour flight.  I think my Heavenly Father was answering my prayers as I had pleaded with him to comfort my fears of leaving my other children home and traveling.  That always scares me.  We arrived in Omaha about 2:00 in the morning as our plane was delayed.  Luckily we were able to sleep in the next morning as we did not meet Cortnie until three. However, I did not want to spend all of our time in the hotel. We drove around Omaha and looked at some sights and places she had been too. We went to the Kanesville Tabernacle where she had served part of her time.  It was so awesome to see the actual place where our pioneers where and to hear the stories of them coming forward. So spiritual too.  The day was a little bit slower than I wanted it to be, but finally it was time to head to the temple where we would meet here.  As we needed to change our clothes, we went to the Winters Quarter Trail Center where she had spent three to four days a week at for the past eighteen months.  As we walked in the doors, I immediately recognized faces of some of her companions and senior couples whom she had served with. We were welcomed with warm hugs and everyone telling us how wonderful our daughter was.  She had made such an impact on so many people there even though she had such a rough start.  I was so overcome with joy. 

We finally walked over to the temple where we would attend a session with her and see her for the first time in eighteen months.  We were with two other sets of parents also there to pick up their daughters.  One sister was the only member in her family so had no one there to meet her.  We chatted and talked in the waiting room of the temple anxiously looking at the clock.  The time passed and they were still not there. One mother finally said she saw shadows of footprints outside the door so another father went to look. As he opened the door, his own daughter was right there and immediately went into her arms.  Cortnie was right behind her.  She looked in the room and saw us then immediately broke down into sobs.  She did not even come to me right away but kind of stayed by the wall.  I went to her where we embraced and cried.  I did not want to let her go.  She was finally in my arms again. I did let her dad have a small hug though.  We proceded to go through the temple session with her and she never let go of my hand.  It was still unbelievable to me that we were together.  I kept waiting for the dream to end.  Soon we were at the trail center again for testimony meeting.  I could not believe the powerful testimony that my daughter gave.  Oh my goodness - she truly loves our Savior and His church.  She has grown more than I could ever imagine.  We were able to meet some of the families she has taught and baptized and they too love her like we do. She changed their lives forever. 

We did not have to say good bye that night - she went with us to the hotel. Like the night before she left on her mission, she wanted me to sleep with her. She was so tired and worn out but she laid her head on my chest and told me her fears and worries. She does not want to be the Cortnie she was before she left. She wants to stay focused on the gospel and wants to share what she has with her family.  I just pray her family will try to do as she would like - and change.  We have so much more we could be doing to be a better family and to come closer to Christ.  Maybe she can help us.

The next day we spent meeting more families she had taught as well as taking a tour around Omaha to her apartments and so forth. We ended up back at the trail center as she wanted to give us the tour she has given so many times to people who walk through the doors.  It was amazing. She truly has come to love the pioneers and what they have done for the gospel.  She has such a great spirit about her when she does that tour too.  I was so touched and had silent tears in my eyes. We even were able to visit the cemetery where one of my ancestors is buried.  Such a wonderful time. 

All too soon it was time to leave Omaha.  I could tell that her heart was weary as she left behind the people that she has come to love so much but yet was so anxious to see the ones she has missed for eighteen months.  I was not sure how to help her.  It was a long flight home for Cortnie as flying tends to give her migraines and again I was helpless.  I knew though that at the end of that trip there was a huge surprise waiting for her and I was so excited to see that happen.  As we landed in Vegas, Rob went ahead of us to "get our luggage" while we went to the restroom.  He was actually going to find our other children so he could take pictures when she saw them. We had a huge banner made that said "welcome home Cortnie" and they were holding it. As she came down the stairs and saw her siblings, the  tears started again.  Brittnie was the first one to drop the banner and run to her taking her in her arms. Her brothers seemed unsure what to do so I finally told them to go give her a huge hug. The four of them stood there in the middle of the airport in a group hug with tears streaming down their cheeks.  Such a priceless picture. 

The car ride home was full of questions and answers.  Everyone was so excited to be together again. Rob made everyone gather in our hug circle again when we said prayers and once again all the tears stared to roll.  Cortnie started to sing "Families Can Be Together Forever" and Rob was the only one able to sing along.  Tears were too strong. We were together again - for a little while at least.  My heart was so happy but in the back of my mind I knew we would be doing this again all too soon.  for now, I will enjoy having  all of my family home. We have the next big step this week - Boyd's graduation and temple day.  Deep breaths...and lots of prayers.  It will be another week full of blessings, smiles and love.