It is such a beautiful day! The sun in shining, it is a little bit overcast, I am enjoying a wonderful weekend with my three children who are home and my husband and I love very minute of it. We got to go to a temple dedication today to see the dedication of the Gilbert Arizona temple and the spirit there was so strong. I could not keep the tears from rolling down my cheeks. I wish that I could bottle up that spiritual feeling and open the lid to pull a little bit out when I am feeling down and not quite so happy. It is so uplifting to go to church each week, but to see a prophet of God and listen to his words was incredible. I wish I could hug him just like a couple of the little kids did today. It was so awesome!
I love weekends like this one. We all worked in the yard yesterday and no one even complained about it. We have lots of yard work to get done to make it look better at there and I can not do it alone. I am so grateful when my children will pitch in and throw or rake manure or take out the trimmings. It is just so fun to work together. There is nothing that I enjoy more than spending time with my family. Spring Break is coming up and I want to do something even though we do not have very much money. I want to just get away and spend some time with them - but still reserve my Tuesday morning to talk with Cortnie. That is another high light of my week. I really could not be happier right now and am so grateful that I am allowed to be.
I have two new "daughters" that I have adopted even though they may not know it. We got sister missionaries about ten days ago to replace our elders and they are straight from heaven. I have so much love for them and want to take care of them all the time. Maybe it is because they make me feel so much closer to my daughter. I am not sure but I just want to make sure they are happy and love having them in my home. They make us laugh and smile and give me big hugs - hugs I miss from my own daughter. They take Brittnie out on lessons with them and she will even go. My whole family just loves them to pieces. They make us laugh and bring such a spirit with them. Yesterday they showed up to help us do yard work too. It was starting to rain slightly when they got here, but they did not care. They pushed the lawnmower and trimmed the train all while the rain was drizzling down. It was so awesome to look at the rain coming down and their smiling faces as they continued to work. They want to come back tomorrow and help us some more - on the day off! I just want them to feel loved and hope that they do.
Cortnie is doing well. Can you believe that there are only 73 days left until she comes home! It does not seem possible but yet I am so excited. I want her to finish strong and keep telling her that. It is hard to believe how fast it has gone by. She is such a trooper and has the best companion. They work so well together and it is fun to hear their stories. We each have a countdown going that allows off to mark off one more day each morning. Rob and I are going to go back to pick her up. I really wanted all the kids to go too, but it is the last week of school and Boyd can not miss finals. He graduates the week after. We are going to Disneyland a couple of weeks after we get home though so that will be awesome too. Exciting and busy times lie ahead for our family over the next couple of months.
One more piece of excitement, Boyd has turned in his mission papers. They actually were electronically sent in this morning and should be back within about ten days. I can not believe it will be that soon and I hope for his sake it will not take three weeks like Cortnie's did. I can not believe I will be sending another one off this summer. I am so excited but yet so sad. I worry about where he will go but know it will be where the Lord wants him. Rob and I have told him we would like him to go to Fiji, New Zealand....anywhere exotic so we can come a couple weeks early and pick him up. I just want him to be happy and ready to serve.
My life is wonderful.! I am busy and sometimes wonder how I can do it all. My sisters are sometimes very needy but I am fortunate enough to have a good presidency and we work well together. I just want everyone to feel the spirit like I did this morning.....to know that the temple allows us to be together forever!! What a blessing that is
Sunday, March 2, 2014
Sunday, January 19, 2014
Quick Update....Life is Good
So, a new year has started and we are off to a great start. We had a wonderful break over Christmas and got to see lots of family members. It was so awesome to share some time with them and with each other. I love being with any type of family at any time. We try to be there whenever we can. It was such a nice break too....our nephew left for his mission, our niece went to Germany to be a nanny and everyone was happy. We spent lots of time just talking and laughing. I love to watch my son and his two cousins hug and slap backs as they said good-bye - not knowing if they will see each other again before their missions. It was a wonderful site.
Boyd has begun meeting with the bishop to start his paperwork. He has finally come to the conclusion that it is time and he is excited about it. It still does not seem possible to me but we have another one getting ready to leave the nest. We are trying to plan vacations and summer outings, but it is hard not knowing when he will leave. I can hardly wait to send in the final paperwork and get that answer back. It is so exciting!
We also got a letter this past week from Cortnie's mission president ......letting us know her release date and info about her coming home. It does not seem possible that we are even talking about that kind of stuff but we are. She will be home on May 14th!! Rob and I are going to go out and pick her up and bring her home. We wanted to take the whole family but it is the last week of school which means finals and concerts so we decided to just go by ourselves. That way we will have more money for our Disneyland trip that we have planned before Boyd goes. I can not believe she will be home in less than four months......I just hope it goes by quickly.
Life is good....I am happy. Work is stressful right now and I am working way too many hours, but I am plugging along. It is all great and I love being home with my family. I am so grateful for my awesome work schedule that lets be home when they are. I am able to have time off when I need it and I get to be in charge of some things. It is good....I am so blessed. I just pray that it will continue to go that way and we can count our blessings everyday. I love being happy!!
Boyd has begun meeting with the bishop to start his paperwork. He has finally come to the conclusion that it is time and he is excited about it. It still does not seem possible to me but we have another one getting ready to leave the nest. We are trying to plan vacations and summer outings, but it is hard not knowing when he will leave. I can hardly wait to send in the final paperwork and get that answer back. It is so exciting!
We also got a letter this past week from Cortnie's mission president ......letting us know her release date and info about her coming home. It does not seem possible that we are even talking about that kind of stuff but we are. She will be home on May 14th!! Rob and I are going to go out and pick her up and bring her home. We wanted to take the whole family but it is the last week of school which means finals and concerts so we decided to just go by ourselves. That way we will have more money for our Disneyland trip that we have planned before Boyd goes. I can not believe she will be home in less than four months......I just hope it goes by quickly.
Life is good....I am happy. Work is stressful right now and I am working way too many hours, but I am plugging along. It is all great and I love being home with my family. I am so grateful for my awesome work schedule that lets be home when they are. I am able to have time off when I need it and I get to be in charge of some things. It is good....I am so blessed. I just pray that it will continue to go that way and we can count our blessings everyday. I love being happy!!
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Waiting........and waiting
Can you believe it is Christmas Day again already? It does not even seem possible that the presents are all opened and the house mostly cleaned up. Christmas came and went so quickly this year - except for one part. I am patiently waiting for Cortnie to call. I will say that I am very anxious as I keep wandering around the house. I am trying to pack up some things for our trip, but don't want to go too far away from the computer. What if I miss the Skype call? I will not miss her again this Christmas. She told us she would call about an hour ago but nothing yet. Everyone keeps checking the computer to see if she is on so I know that it is not just me. I can hardly wait - but at the same time, I am sad. I have not seen her pretty face since Mother's Day and my heart is at peace. I am worried that seeing her will open up the wound again and make it hard to move forward. Her mission president even said he does not like Christmas cause all the missionaries get "trunky" after their phone calls and have a hard time getting back into the work. I ....WAIT, there she is!
Wow, she looks so good! She was so happy and laughed and yes, she cried. It was so wonderful to see her face and actually see her as a real person instead of just someone in my mind. She said that she missed our hugs - if she only knew how much I miss those too. I don't think I will stop hugging her when it comes time to pick her up. She told us all about her Christmas - the sleepover at the trail center, the opening of gifts, the candy that we sent and she did not get much of, the breakfast casserole, the telling of traditions and other sisters wondering why she does all of that. I just wanted to soak it all in and not forget about it. We opened our presents while she was online and it was wonderful. Boyd got an Elder Beatty apron, Britt got Cortnies' missionary ring, Skyler got a shirt, dad got a DVD and I got the most beautiful Christmas hymn book. And then there were the letters that she wrote to each one of us. We read those when she was gone and I cried some more. That hour went by way to fast. As it got to be close to the time for her to leave, the tears started to fall down her face. That started my waterfall too. She did not want to hang up and said she could not do it. We blew kisses and told her Ohana and then she was gone. I found comfort in Rob's arms but it still hurts so bad. I MISS HER! I pray that the next five months go by just as fast so soon I can have her in my arms again....until she falls asleep. Please, keep her safe Heavenly Father - she is my baby girl.
Now to snap out of this for the rest of my children. We need to have a fun day. I need to quickly pack for our trip to Utah and then it is games and movies. We all had a wonderful morning. I woke up to my children laughing as they were pushing each other off the beds and waiting to wake us up. They even gave us an extra half an hour this year. They all got what they wanted - well, except for Brittnie cause she never tells you what she wants so you just get her whatever. I love watching them get excited and happy. I love Christmas.
I am so thankful for our Heavenly Father's son and His love. Without him, we would not have today. I pray that we can enjoy the next week and our families. Merry Christmas!
Wow, she looks so good! She was so happy and laughed and yes, she cried. It was so wonderful to see her face and actually see her as a real person instead of just someone in my mind. She said that she missed our hugs - if she only knew how much I miss those too. I don't think I will stop hugging her when it comes time to pick her up. She told us all about her Christmas - the sleepover at the trail center, the opening of gifts, the candy that we sent and she did not get much of, the breakfast casserole, the telling of traditions and other sisters wondering why she does all of that. I just wanted to soak it all in and not forget about it. We opened our presents while she was online and it was wonderful. Boyd got an Elder Beatty apron, Britt got Cortnies' missionary ring, Skyler got a shirt, dad got a DVD and I got the most beautiful Christmas hymn book. And then there were the letters that she wrote to each one of us. We read those when she was gone and I cried some more. That hour went by way to fast. As it got to be close to the time for her to leave, the tears started to fall down her face. That started my waterfall too. She did not want to hang up and said she could not do it. We blew kisses and told her Ohana and then she was gone. I found comfort in Rob's arms but it still hurts so bad. I MISS HER! I pray that the next five months go by just as fast so soon I can have her in my arms again....until she falls asleep. Please, keep her safe Heavenly Father - she is my baby girl.
Now to snap out of this for the rest of my children. We need to have a fun day. I need to quickly pack for our trip to Utah and then it is games and movies. We all had a wonderful morning. I woke up to my children laughing as they were pushing each other off the beds and waiting to wake us up. They even gave us an extra half an hour this year. They all got what they wanted - well, except for Brittnie cause she never tells you what she wants so you just get her whatever. I love watching them get excited and happy. I love Christmas.
I am so thankful for our Heavenly Father's son and His love. Without him, we would not have today. I pray that we can enjoy the next week and our families. Merry Christmas!
Thursday, December 5, 2013
We Made It.....so far
Wow, if you look at the last time I wrote you can tell I have been one busy little girl. In fact, I hardly have time to breathe it seems like. I work all day then come home to work all night - whether it be church or family. My entire Sundays are spent doing church stuff but service is always a good thing. I just feel like I am letting my family down and they need to be first. This month is really bad as I have the needy families to buy for, the ward Christmas party, activities at work and my family. There is only three weeks until Christmas and I am so not ready. Usually by now, I am done.
However, I needed to stop for a moment tonight and express my thanks for all that I have. One year ago today I left my baby girl as she walked up the sidewalk of the MTC to begin her service to our Heavenly Father. That was one of the hardest days of my entire life. I cried so hard that night and today have shed a tear of two. I still miss her like crazy but my heart is at peace. I know that she is happy and she is taken care of. I know that she loves her mission and her only desire is to become more like Christ and bring others to him. A year ago, I was not sure she would make it. She was so homesick and lonely. It was so hard to try to encourage her every week when inside I was so torn apart. I wanted to just tell her to come home but I knew that I could not do that. Now, I want her to stay and be the best missionary she can be. Don't get me wrong, I am counting the months until she comes home but I do not want either of us to dwell on that. I am so proud of her. She finally had her first baptism a couple of weeks ago and to see the glow in her face was so worth it. I want more of that for her. We are being blessed greatly here as she serves. Our money woes seem to be disappearing. WE still have no air conditioner or heater, but the medical bills are all wiped clean. We went from having to pay almost $1200 down to $72. I can not explain it other than that my Heavenly Father is answering my prayers. I just pray that He will continue too.
I remember so well holding Cortnie in my arms as she cried that last night we were together. I tried to be so strong for her, but the tears silently rolled down my cheeks too. I held her so tight and did not want to let go. The next morning the house was so quiet as we all got ready to go knowing what lie ahead of us. It was oh so hard and my heart still aches...it will until I get to hold her in my arms again. She is a trainer again and is even learning some Portuguese. She is so happy and even her migraines have gone away. Miracles and blessings.....
This past week was Thanksgiving and we had my family here - Tina's family and my parents. My parents have not been here for a few years. It was so awesome. My tiny house was crowded but we had a great time. I love playing host and cooking for everyone. I loved running a 5K with my father and Tina. I love shopping with my sister. I love my little Taysha to come running into my arms and give me the biggest squeeze. She truly knows her favorite aunt. I just loved it all. I have so much to be thankful for that I could not even begin to put it on paper. I know where it all comes from and I try to thank Him everyday. Hopefully we will continue to smooth sail along and blessings will continue to come.
We found out Brittnie is doing okay. We switched her doctor and he does not want to do any meds or anything right now. He just wants to watch it and see if it changes in four months. After going through many tests we do know she has thyroid nodules but they seem to be okay. They are not growing and her activity level seems to be calming down. I pray that it will continue that way. The boys are growing like weeds. Skyler does nothing but sit in front of a computer. I tell myself every night that I am going to play with him or read with him and then something comes up. I have to change or he will never have a life. Boyd is able to start his mission papers now but is very hesitate. I am not sure if he does not feel worthy or if he is just scared. He told me he does not want to leave all of us but that he wants to go. I pray every night that he will have the courage needed and take that giant leap of faith.
Life is good. I have a great husband and wonderful kids. I still feel bad we cancelled our 25th anniversary trip - we will never have another 25th anniversary. We just felt like we would need the money for medical bills. Little did we know. I just hope he knows how much I love him and treasure him in my life. I am not complete without him. This is the best time of the year - from being thankful to giving service. How I love the holidays - and my countdown is begun too cause in 19 days I get to talk to my daughter!!
However, I needed to stop for a moment tonight and express my thanks for all that I have. One year ago today I left my baby girl as she walked up the sidewalk of the MTC to begin her service to our Heavenly Father. That was one of the hardest days of my entire life. I cried so hard that night and today have shed a tear of two. I still miss her like crazy but my heart is at peace. I know that she is happy and she is taken care of. I know that she loves her mission and her only desire is to become more like Christ and bring others to him. A year ago, I was not sure she would make it. She was so homesick and lonely. It was so hard to try to encourage her every week when inside I was so torn apart. I wanted to just tell her to come home but I knew that I could not do that. Now, I want her to stay and be the best missionary she can be. Don't get me wrong, I am counting the months until she comes home but I do not want either of us to dwell on that. I am so proud of her. She finally had her first baptism a couple of weeks ago and to see the glow in her face was so worth it. I want more of that for her. We are being blessed greatly here as she serves. Our money woes seem to be disappearing. WE still have no air conditioner or heater, but the medical bills are all wiped clean. We went from having to pay almost $1200 down to $72. I can not explain it other than that my Heavenly Father is answering my prayers. I just pray that He will continue too.
I remember so well holding Cortnie in my arms as she cried that last night we were together. I tried to be so strong for her, but the tears silently rolled down my cheeks too. I held her so tight and did not want to let go. The next morning the house was so quiet as we all got ready to go knowing what lie ahead of us. It was oh so hard and my heart still aches...it will until I get to hold her in my arms again. She is a trainer again and is even learning some Portuguese. She is so happy and even her migraines have gone away. Miracles and blessings.....
This past week was Thanksgiving and we had my family here - Tina's family and my parents. My parents have not been here for a few years. It was so awesome. My tiny house was crowded but we had a great time. I love playing host and cooking for everyone. I loved running a 5K with my father and Tina. I love shopping with my sister. I love my little Taysha to come running into my arms and give me the biggest squeeze. She truly knows her favorite aunt. I just loved it all. I have so much to be thankful for that I could not even begin to put it on paper. I know where it all comes from and I try to thank Him everyday. Hopefully we will continue to smooth sail along and blessings will continue to come.
We found out Brittnie is doing okay. We switched her doctor and he does not want to do any meds or anything right now. He just wants to watch it and see if it changes in four months. After going through many tests we do know she has thyroid nodules but they seem to be okay. They are not growing and her activity level seems to be calming down. I pray that it will continue that way. The boys are growing like weeds. Skyler does nothing but sit in front of a computer. I tell myself every night that I am going to play with him or read with him and then something comes up. I have to change or he will never have a life. Boyd is able to start his mission papers now but is very hesitate. I am not sure if he does not feel worthy or if he is just scared. He told me he does not want to leave all of us but that he wants to go. I pray every night that he will have the courage needed and take that giant leap of faith.
Life is good. I have a great husband and wonderful kids. I still feel bad we cancelled our 25th anniversary trip - we will never have another 25th anniversary. We just felt like we would need the money for medical bills. Little did we know. I just hope he knows how much I love him and treasure him in my life. I am not complete without him. This is the best time of the year - from being thankful to giving service. How I love the holidays - and my countdown is begun too cause in 19 days I get to talk to my daughter!!
Sunday, October 6, 2013
More Trials....I Hope They Make me Grow
Trials....they are supposed to be good for us right? Sometimes it is hard to see the rainbow through the clouds (as my missionary daughter puts it), but we need to have faith it is still there. I wonder how things work they way they do and I pray that I can have the faith to endure. This weekend was General Conference and there were lots of talks about enduring. I also heard quite a bit that sometimes we wonder why we have the callings that we do, but our Heavenly Father knows why and he has faith in us. Somehow, I need to develop that more.
Panaca was a nice little break but it was a lot of hard work. We went to help Rob's parents and they had a list for us. Brittnie and I made jam, cleaned the whole house and cooked most all the meals. We also spent almost 8 hours helping Rob and the boys with yardwork. We cut trees, bushes, pulled weeds, cleaned sheds...and so much more. My back hurt so bad while I was working but I refused to stop. Service is good and I knew it would be okay when we were done. I was so proud of my children. They did not complain very much and we had a fun time doing it. It is nice to help parents as they took care of us all these years. Fall break has been nice for the rest of the family as they have truly had a break - but I have worked clear through it and am pretty tired.
The money issues continue to pour it. Our air conditioner decided to bite the dust this past week too. I am so grateful that it is cooler outside now and then we can open the windows and not be too hot. However, I am not sure where we are going to come up with $4600 for a new one before it gets hot again. I am calm about it and know that it will work out somehow. I am not touching my missionary trip money thought - that is off limits. It is funny, when I did our checkbook this week, we seemed to have way more money in there than I thought we should have. I tripled checked it though and am pretty sure it is right, but still it is hard to have the faith that it is there cause of Cortnie. I am grateful - and will not complain.
A couple of weeks ago, I had the most beautiful dream. I was somewhere singing in a choir. I knew that Cortnie was also singing in that choir and I could see her behind me. I also knew she was still on her mission. After we were done singing, I could see the missionaries walking away and I was sad that I could not talk to my daughter. However, I noticed her running towards me and when she reached me she gave me this huge hug. She did not say anything, but turned around and ran back to the missionaries. I woke up then and was so grateful that she had come to see me. It felt so real!! However, I learned later on that day, that my Heavenly Father must have sent that dream to me to let me know that she was okay and would be. He allowed me to have the special moment with her before the trial started.
As always, we email back ad forth. I waited anxiously at work for her email to come and then it was there. As I always do, I told her that I loved her and asked how she was. The reply I got was "not good mom." She never calls me mom in my emails and she always plays up the truth so I wont' worry. However, her morning was horrible, she was hurt and she was mad. Apparently she had been sick with the stomach flu over the weekend and could not go to church or work. President Weston called her the next morning and said he was doing an emergency transfer and she was being taken out of her new area that she loved (and the older couple she lived with ) and was going to the trail center full time. She said her new apartment was the worse and it smelled like pot and drugs. She said she was not going to be a missionary as she was being banished to the basement to take care of a sick sister and could not do anything at all. I tried to comfort her - to tell her Heavenly Father had a plan for her and it would all work out. She emailed me back and forth for almost three hours that day. She was so hurt and I could not ever comfort her. On my break, I called Rob and cried my eyes out. He said he had only gotten one email from her and the rest would not work (miracle that mine worked - I think not). I then called my parents and cried to them too. I felt so bad and could do nothing. I could not even talk to her. I did the only thing I could think of and that was called Sister Weston. I explained to her how Cortnie felt and asked her to call her. She said Cortnie could still do tours and was not banished to the basement. They put her with Sister Peterson so she could teach her and help her through her health issues. That night I sent her flowers and wrote a huge letter. As I walked in the door after work, I fell into Rob's arms and just sobbed. I also cried myself to sleep that night.
I am grateful to say that now things are okay. Cortnie had a change of heart when she got lots of letters from home and a vase full of love. She also came to love Sister Peterson. It was a huge obstacle and she overcame. However, I got a phone call from Sister Peterson this week saying she was going home and Cortnie was getting yet another new companion. Poor girl - Cortnie has grown to love her so much. Another challenge so I am anxious to hear about it on email day.
I am also still waiting for Brittnie's results. She has a biopsy of her thyroid this week as the uptake scan came back showing lots of spots. We are hopeful they are all just good spots and she just takes medicines. If not, she will have it removed. The bad part is, we will have to go to Phoenix or Flagstaff for her doctor appointments. We thought we had to go there for this biopsy, but they can do it here. I am praying for the best - I don't want to send Cortnie more bad news.
Trials - they are not easy but I try to look for the rainbows in them. It is not a clear picture all the time, but it ends okay if I have faith. I pray for that everyday. I want to be happy and I want the best for my family. Hopefully, that will happen,.
Panaca was a nice little break but it was a lot of hard work. We went to help Rob's parents and they had a list for us. Brittnie and I made jam, cleaned the whole house and cooked most all the meals. We also spent almost 8 hours helping Rob and the boys with yardwork. We cut trees, bushes, pulled weeds, cleaned sheds...and so much more. My back hurt so bad while I was working but I refused to stop. Service is good and I knew it would be okay when we were done. I was so proud of my children. They did not complain very much and we had a fun time doing it. It is nice to help parents as they took care of us all these years. Fall break has been nice for the rest of the family as they have truly had a break - but I have worked clear through it and am pretty tired.
The money issues continue to pour it. Our air conditioner decided to bite the dust this past week too. I am so grateful that it is cooler outside now and then we can open the windows and not be too hot. However, I am not sure where we are going to come up with $4600 for a new one before it gets hot again. I am calm about it and know that it will work out somehow. I am not touching my missionary trip money thought - that is off limits. It is funny, when I did our checkbook this week, we seemed to have way more money in there than I thought we should have. I tripled checked it though and am pretty sure it is right, but still it is hard to have the faith that it is there cause of Cortnie. I am grateful - and will not complain.
A couple of weeks ago, I had the most beautiful dream. I was somewhere singing in a choir. I knew that Cortnie was also singing in that choir and I could see her behind me. I also knew she was still on her mission. After we were done singing, I could see the missionaries walking away and I was sad that I could not talk to my daughter. However, I noticed her running towards me and when she reached me she gave me this huge hug. She did not say anything, but turned around and ran back to the missionaries. I woke up then and was so grateful that she had come to see me. It felt so real!! However, I learned later on that day, that my Heavenly Father must have sent that dream to me to let me know that she was okay and would be. He allowed me to have the special moment with her before the trial started.
As always, we email back ad forth. I waited anxiously at work for her email to come and then it was there. As I always do, I told her that I loved her and asked how she was. The reply I got was "not good mom." She never calls me mom in my emails and she always plays up the truth so I wont' worry. However, her morning was horrible, she was hurt and she was mad. Apparently she had been sick with the stomach flu over the weekend and could not go to church or work. President Weston called her the next morning and said he was doing an emergency transfer and she was being taken out of her new area that she loved (and the older couple she lived with ) and was going to the trail center full time. She said her new apartment was the worse and it smelled like pot and drugs. She said she was not going to be a missionary as she was being banished to the basement to take care of a sick sister and could not do anything at all. I tried to comfort her - to tell her Heavenly Father had a plan for her and it would all work out. She emailed me back and forth for almost three hours that day. She was so hurt and I could not ever comfort her. On my break, I called Rob and cried my eyes out. He said he had only gotten one email from her and the rest would not work (miracle that mine worked - I think not). I then called my parents and cried to them too. I felt so bad and could do nothing. I could not even talk to her. I did the only thing I could think of and that was called Sister Weston. I explained to her how Cortnie felt and asked her to call her. She said Cortnie could still do tours and was not banished to the basement. They put her with Sister Peterson so she could teach her and help her through her health issues. That night I sent her flowers and wrote a huge letter. As I walked in the door after work, I fell into Rob's arms and just sobbed. I also cried myself to sleep that night.
I am grateful to say that now things are okay. Cortnie had a change of heart when she got lots of letters from home and a vase full of love. She also came to love Sister Peterson. It was a huge obstacle and she overcame. However, I got a phone call from Sister Peterson this week saying she was going home and Cortnie was getting yet another new companion. Poor girl - Cortnie has grown to love her so much. Another challenge so I am anxious to hear about it on email day.
I am also still waiting for Brittnie's results. She has a biopsy of her thyroid this week as the uptake scan came back showing lots of spots. We are hopeful they are all just good spots and she just takes medicines. If not, she will have it removed. The bad part is, we will have to go to Phoenix or Flagstaff for her doctor appointments. We thought we had to go there for this biopsy, but they can do it here. I am praying for the best - I don't want to send Cortnie more bad news.
Trials - they are not easy but I try to look for the rainbows in them. It is not a clear picture all the time, but it ends okay if I have faith. I pray for that everyday. I want to be happy and I want the best for my family. Hopefully, that will happen,.
Sunday, September 22, 2013
Faith and More Faith
Faith...that is what we all need yet so many times it is hard to find. I wake up every morning with the faith that my Heavenly Father will watch over and protect my family. I have faith that my job will always be there and we can put food on our table. I have faith that Cortnie is safe and happy and doing well on her mission. I have faith that when I upset someone in the ward because I can not give them all that they want, they will forgive and love me anyway. Faith is so hard sometimes...yet it keeps me going.
These past few weeks have been a trial of my faith. I guess I should have seen it coming as life seemed to be sailing so smoothly. I should never think that all is well cause that is when the boat begins to work. It is not terribly bad now, but enough to make me silently worry about how it will all work out. Hopefully, faith and miracles will help us make it through. I know without a shadow of a doubt if I continue to support my daughter on her mission, we will have what we need. Sometimes I wonder how, but I need to have faith that it will get there. We have been slammed with lots of bills lately - well, they have not actually come yet, but I know they are on their way. Cortnie and Brittnie both had lots of medical tests done lately and it is costing a lot of money. I am grateful for insurance but even that does not cover it all. Then, our air conditioner keeps going on the blitz, Brittnie's car got hit at work and we have to pay the deductible since it was a hit and run, and we are getting Rob's parents fifth wheel trailer that now we find out needs new tires, needs rails put in our truck for hitches and electric and it needs to be licensed. All money - and lots of it. In fact, we saw it coming so Rob and I cancelled our 25th anniversary trip to San Diego to be able to have the money that we need. It was really hard and sad too cause that anniversary is supposed to be really special and we only went to a nice dinner. Granted, it was nice, but it was not "special". Rob said it did not matter as we would have many more anniversaries, but not many more times to pick up our daughter from her mission in Nebraska. We are saving all we have for that trip in May. I just need to have faith and not worry so much about where the money will come from. It will be there and it will be okay - I just like to worry.
Cortnie is doing great! She was finally transferred - after being there over half of her mission. Yup...that is what I said. She is over halfway done now and on the downhill slide. It is amazing to me to think of that. Part of the time it seems like she just left but most of the time it feels like she has been gone forever. I sure miss her. She loves her new area and has lots of investigators. I would love to see her have a baptism after all her hard work. She is only about 8 miles from the last area. That is okay though cause she still can have the same doctors and still gets to work at the trail center - her favorite place. The best news though is that the migraines are almost completely gone. She went to a different doctor who sent her to a physical therapist. She told her they were not migraines but mechanical headaches. She has her doing exercises each day and the migraines are less than one a day now. AND, when she feels one coming on, she does the exercises and they go away. It took lots of doctors but it was all worth it. I just hope that it stays the same and she can keep them gone.
As for Brittnie, I can worry about her too. She has been having issues with feeling week and light headed for quite a while now. We got her a new doctor who has ran all kinds of blood work (and expensive tests too). She had a final test this past week to test her thyroid. Apparently it is pretty enlarged and has nodules on it. Most likely, they will be removing the thyroid one way or another. We will have the final answer in a couple of days. However, I am sure that will mean going to more doctors in Vegas and more testing. It is okay - as long as we find the answers and she is better. It could also explain why she is choking all the time too. I am grateful for miracles of science.
I do not mean to complain. Things are good. I feel like I spend so much time on RS stuff and am having a hard time finding a balance with that and my family. It is hard. I spend almost all day on Sunday doing RS stuff and then go back to work on Monday. I miss my down time and so miss my treadmill. I have to find a balance - but sometime I really need some sleep too. I pray every night to figure it out and to make it work. Patience - somehow it will come. We also have senior in high school now that takes lots of time and money. It is hard to believe he will graduate this year. Then it is off to a mission for him too. My babies are all growing up. My heart wishes so bad that Brittnie could find someone to love her and I could do a wedding. It is hard for her to see her friends getting married and in my heart it is hard for me too. I worry about her not having that opportunity but I can't seem to get her to do anything. She did over the summer but now everyone is gone again.
Well, it is time for bed. My hubby and boys have the next two weeks off of school so it is like summer again - I work and they play. We are going to panaca for the weekend but that is my only break. I wish it were more, but again, my dream trip will be next year. Somehow, I need to find more patience and faith - somehow it will all work out. Sometimes it is just hard.
These past few weeks have been a trial of my faith. I guess I should have seen it coming as life seemed to be sailing so smoothly. I should never think that all is well cause that is when the boat begins to work. It is not terribly bad now, but enough to make me silently worry about how it will all work out. Hopefully, faith and miracles will help us make it through. I know without a shadow of a doubt if I continue to support my daughter on her mission, we will have what we need. Sometimes I wonder how, but I need to have faith that it will get there. We have been slammed with lots of bills lately - well, they have not actually come yet, but I know they are on their way. Cortnie and Brittnie both had lots of medical tests done lately and it is costing a lot of money. I am grateful for insurance but even that does not cover it all. Then, our air conditioner keeps going on the blitz, Brittnie's car got hit at work and we have to pay the deductible since it was a hit and run, and we are getting Rob's parents fifth wheel trailer that now we find out needs new tires, needs rails put in our truck for hitches and electric and it needs to be licensed. All money - and lots of it. In fact, we saw it coming so Rob and I cancelled our 25th anniversary trip to San Diego to be able to have the money that we need. It was really hard and sad too cause that anniversary is supposed to be really special and we only went to a nice dinner. Granted, it was nice, but it was not "special". Rob said it did not matter as we would have many more anniversaries, but not many more times to pick up our daughter from her mission in Nebraska. We are saving all we have for that trip in May. I just need to have faith and not worry so much about where the money will come from. It will be there and it will be okay - I just like to worry.
Cortnie is doing great! She was finally transferred - after being there over half of her mission. Yup...that is what I said. She is over halfway done now and on the downhill slide. It is amazing to me to think of that. Part of the time it seems like she just left but most of the time it feels like she has been gone forever. I sure miss her. She loves her new area and has lots of investigators. I would love to see her have a baptism after all her hard work. She is only about 8 miles from the last area. That is okay though cause she still can have the same doctors and still gets to work at the trail center - her favorite place. The best news though is that the migraines are almost completely gone. She went to a different doctor who sent her to a physical therapist. She told her they were not migraines but mechanical headaches. She has her doing exercises each day and the migraines are less than one a day now. AND, when she feels one coming on, she does the exercises and they go away. It took lots of doctors but it was all worth it. I just hope that it stays the same and she can keep them gone.
As for Brittnie, I can worry about her too. She has been having issues with feeling week and light headed for quite a while now. We got her a new doctor who has ran all kinds of blood work (and expensive tests too). She had a final test this past week to test her thyroid. Apparently it is pretty enlarged and has nodules on it. Most likely, they will be removing the thyroid one way or another. We will have the final answer in a couple of days. However, I am sure that will mean going to more doctors in Vegas and more testing. It is okay - as long as we find the answers and she is better. It could also explain why she is choking all the time too. I am grateful for miracles of science.
I do not mean to complain. Things are good. I feel like I spend so much time on RS stuff and am having a hard time finding a balance with that and my family. It is hard. I spend almost all day on Sunday doing RS stuff and then go back to work on Monday. I miss my down time and so miss my treadmill. I have to find a balance - but sometime I really need some sleep too. I pray every night to figure it out and to make it work. Patience - somehow it will come. We also have senior in high school now that takes lots of time and money. It is hard to believe he will graduate this year. Then it is off to a mission for him too. My babies are all growing up. My heart wishes so bad that Brittnie could find someone to love her and I could do a wedding. It is hard for her to see her friends getting married and in my heart it is hard for me too. I worry about her not having that opportunity but I can't seem to get her to do anything. She did over the summer but now everyone is gone again.
Well, it is time for bed. My hubby and boys have the next two weeks off of school so it is like summer again - I work and they play. We are going to panaca for the weekend but that is my only break. I wish it were more, but again, my dream trip will be next year. Somehow, I need to find more patience and faith - somehow it will all work out. Sometimes it is just hard.
Saturday, August 3, 2013
Opportunities Bring Blessings.....
Well, my life has been changed dramatically in the last couple of weeks. I just re-read my last post that was all about blessings and how great life is. I still am so happy and grateful for all that I have. I know that my blessings come from my Heavenly Father. I know that He knows more about my life, my strengths, my weaknesses...more about me than I do. Sometimes though, I want to question what He knows and why He places opportunities and obstacles in my way.
This past couple or weeks have been extremely busy. I have been in charge of three major parties - one a week so have been a little bit stressed. One was at work, one was another large church party (which I was only asked to do one week before it was put on) and a very large baby shower this week. I love helping to organize parties and they usually turn out pretty well. I have done enough of them that I have a pretty good handle on what to do and how much food. it does not mean that it is all peachy though and I don't stress just a little bit. I am grateful for my family and all the help they usually put in - as it always seems to turn into a family help time. I have loved teaching my babies in my sunbeam class at church and was finally looking forward to having some free time again after all the parties were over - and time for my treadmill again. I really need that!!
Anyway, I go to church two weeks ago just as happy as can be. Rob tells me on the way there that the bishop wants to meet with us after church - again!! That would be three weeks in a row for me. I think nothing of it really but my mind wonders just a tiny bit what it could be for. I really had no clue. Well, to make a long story short, as I get in the chapel I am talking with my friend who tells me the Relief Society President is moving. I am totally surprised by this and suddenly my heart drops. I began to wonder now what really is going on but keep telling myself that it is nothing. Well, during the sacrament it came to me that I was going to be the new Relief Society President. I tried so hard to ignore the feelings but I just knew. I sat with Rob after the sacrament (I play the piano for the music) and leaned to him to tell him my feelings. A silent tear comes to my eyes. He hugs me and tells me that we both know that it is right but my heart keeps telling me no. So, after church we journey to the bishops office. He calls me in first and gives me a short temple recommend....there is not doubt in my mind now. After Rob joins us, he proceeds to ask me to be the president. I told him that I knew it was coming but just sat there for a minute. All was quiet. I then told him that he know I would not say no and I accepted. My heart wanted to stop. I really wanted to scream and shout no and I wanted to cry. I could not believe this was happening. I have already had this calling and in this ward. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would do it again here. Never!! But, it was happening and I knew I needed to change my attitude.
We told our children later that day and they all agreed that the ward needed this. Even Cortnie said that she knew that it was right and I would be the angel this ward needed. I was really hoping one for them would agree with me that it was not right and they could find someone else. I will tell you that I really struggled for almost a week. I was able to be touched by the spirit enough to choose the counselors and secretary that I know Heavenly Father wanted and I am grateful for that. As I went to bed the Saturday before, I cried on Rob's shoulder. I told him my heart was just not in this and I was really having a hard time. I knew it was right but I could not convince myself that it was. Satan was working too hard on me. The next day I was sustained in church. I think there were some people that were really shocked as was I. However, I have since had many of them come to me and tell me that they know I am suppose to be in this position - they have been told that themselves. That helps some but it is still hard. As I was set apart I finally got the answers that I needed. The bishop told me that this calling was from my Heavenly Father and He needed me right now. He needed me to bring the sisters back together and help them to find their way back to Him. He needed me to have love and compassion for each of them and help them to grow. I was promised that I would have the time and energy that I needed to fulfill this calling and that my family would always still come first and they would not suffer because of it. That was a big one to me - my family is always first and I needed to know that was okay. I cried during and after that blessing - and a few times since then.
Am I okay now? I still have my days where I struggle. Satan knows my weaknesses. I still have times when I wonder how I will do it all. Every night this week was spent doing Relief Society and every night this week was a very late night. I know it will get easier as I settle into it, so I just have to keep leaning on that faith and my Heavenly Father. Someone also told me that when their child was serving a mission, they did everything they could for the church so that Heavenly Father would do everything to protect their child. I feel the same way - extra blessings for all of us and for my missionary. I know this calling comes from above and their will be angels to help me through. I just pray that I will be worthy of their guidance and the blessings that will continue to come my way. I love to serve....and I will do the best that I know how.
This past couple or weeks have been extremely busy. I have been in charge of three major parties - one a week so have been a little bit stressed. One was at work, one was another large church party (which I was only asked to do one week before it was put on) and a very large baby shower this week. I love helping to organize parties and they usually turn out pretty well. I have done enough of them that I have a pretty good handle on what to do and how much food. it does not mean that it is all peachy though and I don't stress just a little bit. I am grateful for my family and all the help they usually put in - as it always seems to turn into a family help time. I have loved teaching my babies in my sunbeam class at church and was finally looking forward to having some free time again after all the parties were over - and time for my treadmill again. I really need that!!
Anyway, I go to church two weeks ago just as happy as can be. Rob tells me on the way there that the bishop wants to meet with us after church - again!! That would be three weeks in a row for me. I think nothing of it really but my mind wonders just a tiny bit what it could be for. I really had no clue. Well, to make a long story short, as I get in the chapel I am talking with my friend who tells me the Relief Society President is moving. I am totally surprised by this and suddenly my heart drops. I began to wonder now what really is going on but keep telling myself that it is nothing. Well, during the sacrament it came to me that I was going to be the new Relief Society President. I tried so hard to ignore the feelings but I just knew. I sat with Rob after the sacrament (I play the piano for the music) and leaned to him to tell him my feelings. A silent tear comes to my eyes. He hugs me and tells me that we both know that it is right but my heart keeps telling me no. So, after church we journey to the bishops office. He calls me in first and gives me a short temple recommend....there is not doubt in my mind now. After Rob joins us, he proceeds to ask me to be the president. I told him that I knew it was coming but just sat there for a minute. All was quiet. I then told him that he know I would not say no and I accepted. My heart wanted to stop. I really wanted to scream and shout no and I wanted to cry. I could not believe this was happening. I have already had this calling and in this ward. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would do it again here. Never!! But, it was happening and I knew I needed to change my attitude.
We told our children later that day and they all agreed that the ward needed this. Even Cortnie said that she knew that it was right and I would be the angel this ward needed. I was really hoping one for them would agree with me that it was not right and they could find someone else. I will tell you that I really struggled for almost a week. I was able to be touched by the spirit enough to choose the counselors and secretary that I know Heavenly Father wanted and I am grateful for that. As I went to bed the Saturday before, I cried on Rob's shoulder. I told him my heart was just not in this and I was really having a hard time. I knew it was right but I could not convince myself that it was. Satan was working too hard on me. The next day I was sustained in church. I think there were some people that were really shocked as was I. However, I have since had many of them come to me and tell me that they know I am suppose to be in this position - they have been told that themselves. That helps some but it is still hard. As I was set apart I finally got the answers that I needed. The bishop told me that this calling was from my Heavenly Father and He needed me right now. He needed me to bring the sisters back together and help them to find their way back to Him. He needed me to have love and compassion for each of them and help them to grow. I was promised that I would have the time and energy that I needed to fulfill this calling and that my family would always still come first and they would not suffer because of it. That was a big one to me - my family is always first and I needed to know that was okay. I cried during and after that blessing - and a few times since then.
Am I okay now? I still have my days where I struggle. Satan knows my weaknesses. I still have times when I wonder how I will do it all. Every night this week was spent doing Relief Society and every night this week was a very late night. I know it will get easier as I settle into it, so I just have to keep leaning on that faith and my Heavenly Father. Someone also told me that when their child was serving a mission, they did everything they could for the church so that Heavenly Father would do everything to protect their child. I feel the same way - extra blessings for all of us and for my missionary. I know this calling comes from above and their will be angels to help me through. I just pray that I will be worthy of their guidance and the blessings that will continue to come my way. I love to serve....and I will do the best that I know how.
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