Trials....they are supposed to be good for us right? Sometimes it is hard to see the rainbow through the clouds (as my missionary daughter puts it), but we need to have faith it is still there. I wonder how things work they way they do and I pray that I can have the faith to endure. This weekend was General Conference and there were lots of talks about enduring. I also heard quite a bit that sometimes we wonder why we have the callings that we do, but our Heavenly Father knows why and he has faith in us. Somehow, I need to develop that more.
Panaca was a nice little break but it was a lot of hard work. We went to help Rob's parents and they had a list for us. Brittnie and I made jam, cleaned the whole house and cooked most all the meals. We also spent almost 8 hours helping Rob and the boys with yardwork. We cut trees, bushes, pulled weeds, cleaned sheds...and so much more. My back hurt so bad while I was working but I refused to stop. Service is good and I knew it would be okay when we were done. I was so proud of my children. They did not complain very much and we had a fun time doing it. It is nice to help parents as they took care of us all these years. Fall break has been nice for the rest of the family as they have truly had a break - but I have worked clear through it and am pretty tired.
The money issues continue to pour it. Our air conditioner decided to bite the dust this past week too. I am so grateful that it is cooler outside now and then we can open the windows and not be too hot. However, I am not sure where we are going to come up with $4600 for a new one before it gets hot again. I am calm about it and know that it will work out somehow. I am not touching my missionary trip money thought - that is off limits. It is funny, when I did our checkbook this week, we seemed to have way more money in there than I thought we should have. I tripled checked it though and am pretty sure it is right, but still it is hard to have the faith that it is there cause of Cortnie. I am grateful - and will not complain.
A couple of weeks ago, I had the most beautiful dream. I was somewhere singing in a choir. I knew that Cortnie was also singing in that choir and I could see her behind me. I also knew she was still on her mission. After we were done singing, I could see the missionaries walking away and I was sad that I could not talk to my daughter. However, I noticed her running towards me and when she reached me she gave me this huge hug. She did not say anything, but turned around and ran back to the missionaries. I woke up then and was so grateful that she had come to see me. It felt so real!! However, I learned later on that day, that my Heavenly Father must have sent that dream to me to let me know that she was okay and would be. He allowed me to have the special moment with her before the trial started.
As always, we email back ad forth. I waited anxiously at work for her email to come and then it was there. As I always do, I told her that I loved her and asked how she was. The reply I got was "not good mom." She never calls me mom in my emails and she always plays up the truth so I wont' worry. However, her morning was horrible, she was hurt and she was mad. Apparently she had been sick with the stomach flu over the weekend and could not go to church or work. President Weston called her the next morning and said he was doing an emergency transfer and she was being taken out of her new area that she loved (and the older couple she lived with ) and was going to the trail center full time. She said her new apartment was the worse and it smelled like pot and drugs. She said she was not going to be a missionary as she was being banished to the basement to take care of a sick sister and could not do anything at all. I tried to comfort her - to tell her Heavenly Father had a plan for her and it would all work out. She emailed me back and forth for almost three hours that day. She was so hurt and I could not ever comfort her. On my break, I called Rob and cried my eyes out. He said he had only gotten one email from her and the rest would not work (miracle that mine worked - I think not). I then called my parents and cried to them too. I felt so bad and could do nothing. I could not even talk to her. I did the only thing I could think of and that was called Sister Weston. I explained to her how Cortnie felt and asked her to call her. She said Cortnie could still do tours and was not banished to the basement. They put her with Sister Peterson so she could teach her and help her through her health issues. That night I sent her flowers and wrote a huge letter. As I walked in the door after work, I fell into Rob's arms and just sobbed. I also cried myself to sleep that night.
I am grateful to say that now things are okay. Cortnie had a change of heart when she got lots of letters from home and a vase full of love. She also came to love Sister Peterson. It was a huge obstacle and she overcame. However, I got a phone call from Sister Peterson this week saying she was going home and Cortnie was getting yet another new companion. Poor girl - Cortnie has grown to love her so much. Another challenge so I am anxious to hear about it on email day.
I am also still waiting for Brittnie's results. She has a biopsy of her thyroid this week as the uptake scan came back showing lots of spots. We are hopeful they are all just good spots and she just takes medicines. If not, she will have it removed. The bad part is, we will have to go to Phoenix or Flagstaff for her doctor appointments. We thought we had to go there for this biopsy, but they can do it here. I am praying for the best - I don't want to send Cortnie more bad news.
Trials - they are not easy but I try to look for the rainbows in them. It is not a clear picture all the time, but it ends okay if I have faith. I pray for that everyday. I want to be happy and I want the best for my family. Hopefully, that will happen,.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment