Wow....I have been thinking I need to update my blog but I did not realize it has been so long since I did. Now my mind is racing trying to figure out what I should write about and what has been going on. Life is always busy but I will say it seems a little bit slower. I spend most nights wandering the house or fighting the urge to eat cause I am bored. Rob and Skyler play their games every night so I am kind of left alone. It really stinks sometimes but I try to not let it bother me. Weekends like this one do though as it was conference weekend and Saturday night was always girls night out while they watched priesthood session. I miss having my kids home so much. I miss quiet talks with them and just time spent together. We have been fortunate enough to see them every month this year so that has been great but it is still hard to have them away.
The holidays were wonderful. We were all together again for the first time in five years. My adult children still act like little kids and get so excited about Christmas. They want to get us out of bed way early in the morning and still like to jump on us to wake us up. This year Christmas was on Sunday so we wanted to go to church. I was shocked that Skyler wanted to wait until after church to open presents but was very glad to do so. We did still have Santa come before church though. Going to church on Christmas morning really helps you remember the true meaning of Christmas. It was such a great day and I just basked in having them all here. They all got spoiled rotten as usual and were very happy with their gifts. Cortnie sticks out more than any of them. I had purchased a Miss Piggy puppet that I found out of the blue. She loves Miss Piggy. It was so fun to watch her open it (and it was the last gift that she grabbbed to open too). As she lifted the lid she squealed then pulled her out of the box. As she did so, tears were rolling down her cheeks as she now had her very own puppet. Her dream has always been to make a costume for Miss Piggy. I am so proud to say that she is on her way there. She applied for five internships through Disney and is in the final running for one of them. She has made the cut out of thousands of applications to get to the last stage. She is so excited and we are so proud. Of course we want her to get it more than anything in the world but just to get this far is incredible. If she gets it she will work in the costume shop at Disneyland for seven months. Her final interview is Wednesday and I am praying so hard for her. This is her lifelong dream. She graduates from college in four weeks as well and then it is on to better things. I hate to see her give up her job as it is such a good high paying job but it is not what she wants to do forever. She has become accustomed to the money though. I was thinking earlier tonight that our children are the first to graduate and serve missions on Rob's side of the family and I could not be more proud. I am truly blessed with some great kids.
Brittnie is still working hard for Uncle Rick and trying so hard to be involved in her ward. She was told in a blessing awhile ago that if she would get involved she would be blessed with her dreams. She will be 27 this year and i know her heart is broken that she is not married and has children. That is all she has ever wanted. My heart hurts for her when she tells me of friends getting engaged or wishing she had a date. I wish so bad I could find her a wonderful young man and see them married in the temple. I can not wait for the day to buy a wedding dress and be the mother of a bride. I cry if I think about it too much as I wonder now if it will happen as she gets older each day. I plead with our Heavenly Father to help her but can't do it for her. She loves her ward and is very involved - has even had parties at her home, but still no young man will ask her out. Pretty sad that the dates both of my daughters have had can be counted on less then two hands. Please, Father, hear their prayers.
Boyd is home and trying to adjust to college life. He has found an apartment for next year which I am grateful for. I am very grateful for my parents taking care of him but he needs to be more involved. My biggest worry is that he does not know his roommates and my girls have not had much luck with that. He needs someone who is outgoing and will invite him along. So many people make fun of Boyd but he is the most kind hearted person I know. He will do anything for anyone at any time. He is struggling with work and on his final probation. One more strike and he is out of a job. I pray so hard every day that he will not mess up again. he can't afford too. He has also struggled with classes and is having to retake one of them. His grades were not good last semester and he almost lost his scholarship. He applied again to get into BYU but did not make it. My heart aches for him as well as i know what his dreams are. It hurts to be a mother and watch your kids dreams slip away. He is doing better at school now but still needs a social life. How I love him!
Skyler is my 17 year old that thinks he is an adult. He did finally ask me to help him get a job at my store so he is working now. He will tell you he hates the job but he does like the money. He is going through this stage where mom is annoying and should not question him about anything. His grades have dropped and he was my straight A student. He is no longer valedictorian. He got his ACT scores the other day and they are a 30. That is off the charts. He can get into any college he wants with that kind of score and a high GPA. He could get great scholarships as well. However, he has decided he does not need to work as hard so his grades are not the best. If i question him or ask him about it, he gets very upset with me. I used to have such a close relationship with him but it seems to be gone. However, it has gone over to Rob now so that is a good thing. At least he will talk to him. I just wish he would get his desire back for school cause I see opportunities slipping away.
Two weeks ago we took Skyler back for the surgery to remove the bar from his chest. The weeks before surgery were not very pleasant here at home. He finally told me he had been having night mares about the surgery for four months. He hated to go to sleep at night cause he knew they would start. He was not getting any sleep so was sleeping in class. He was afraid he would not wake up from being put to sleep or would not be able to breathe right again. He as very scared. The morning of the surgery I was calm as could be. I felt the love of our Heavenly Father and knew all would be okay. We waited forever then they took my little boy away. We saw him next in the recovery room. He as crying from pain and even said a few choice words. He also had tears on his cheeks saying that he could actually breathe like a normal person and he did not think he would be able too. Skyler had also told us a few months ago that he did not think the church was for him and he wanted to not be forced to go but decide on his own. We asked him to keep coming to church and to say his prayers. That fight has stopped somewhat but I know he is still trying to figure it all out. When he awoke from his surgery the one think he asked for was a prayer. Deep inside he knows the truth. One funny thing he said was that he did not like his dad too much....he was drugged up. He slept most of the next day then was perfectly back to normal. I am proud to say all is well and he is doing great.
Rob and I are so enjoying watching our children grow up. There are many days I wish they were young again and we could do thing different. I wonder if we had lived somewhere else would they have better social lives; would they be married or have different views of the church; would we be grandparents? I know we can't change anything but we can hope for a bright future. It is hard to believe that in only one and a half years we will be empty nesters. I am not looking forward to that at all. Rob and I went to Hawaii with my family in January. It was so great to have my parents there with us. They were not able to do much but just having them around was so awesome. Rob and I spent a lot of time with them so our trip was a little bit different this time then the last time we went. Hawaii is so beautiful and so peaceful. I did not want to come home other than to get back to my kids. We have talked a lot about it and are trying hard to save up to take our children there next year. It will be our last big vacation before Skyler goes on his mission (hopefully). We want them to see the beauty that is there and to just relax and have fun. Who knows, maybe we will have to book an extra space just in case some big event happens before then. We are trying hard to pay off bills so we can move in a couple of years. I got a nice big raise at work and have discovered that almost all of it goes to the government for taxes. We were paying stuff off so well too but now it is tight again. My life in Bullhead has been good but I am so ready for a change. Work is getting to me and I just want to be with my family. I am so afraid by the time i finally get to be close to my parents, one of them will be gone. I cherish every time we can see them though and love them so much. I am so grateful that families are forever. Life is good.....and the future looks even better.
Sunday, April 2, 2017
Sunday, November 13, 2016
Hoildays Are Here
It seems like the time flies by in between my writings but life can be so busy. I know we are told to write in our journals every day and I was so good at that when I was young. I was good at that when I had young children as I would even write in theirs. I keep up photo albums and I try to stay on top of things, but sometimes I am just too tired or just do not feel like writing it all down for the day. I am human and that is okay. No matter what though I want people to know that I am grateful for all that I have. The gospel is so true and through it I can be with my family forever. there is nothing I want more than that. My family is my life and it is so hard to be apart from them. I look forward to the day when I can live closer to my siblings and especially my children. My parents are getting older and I pray I can be close to them before they are called home. I am accused many times of not doing anything for myself but all for my family - but that is life to me. All I ever wanted was to have a family and to take care of them. I love our trips, our laughs, our time together. There really is nothing more. I value times in church with them and special occasions too. My family is my life. I will gladly give up sleep, exercise, my time and all my love for each and every one of them.
There is not a whole lot exciting going on in my every day life right now. Work is so crazy and so short handed. I have been pulling extra hours every week and some weeks work six days. I am tired and the money is not worth it to me, but I am putting all the extra money away for my trip to Hawaii in January with Rob. All of my siblings and parents are going as well. I am so excited to go but I now we will not be able to do as much as last time. However, just time away with Rob and my family is so exciting. It can not get here soon enough. I am also way excited for the holidays to come. Next week we are going to Utah to spend Thanksgiving with our kids and then they come home for Christmas. We have not had the holidays all together for four years. I am so thrilled to have them this year. I am even going to wait to decorate my tree until they are here cause I want them to help. I want them to always feel like this is their home and they can be apart of our traditions. I told them the only thing I want for Christmas this year is family time and laughter. They could wrap years worth of that and put it under the tree and i would be perfectly happy.
Skyler and I have been having some battles lately that concern me. He is trying to find his place in this big world and it is so hard for a teenager. I think the xbox has taken over his life though and that bothers me. His grades are super bad and he will not be able to pull a's this time I don't think. It hurts too as he is so smart and could get great scholarships. I have backed off some but still push him to at least do the work. He has a sweet girl friend who is super nice and keeps him in line for the most part. I just wish he would care again. I miss my little boy and it is hard to let the last one grow up. He has said some very hurtful words that i try to forgive but that is hard too as they are remembered. I just pray that he will come around. He says no mission for him and no church either - but the church is not an option as he lives in my home. Somehow, we need to keep him focused. Pray it will all work out.
The biggest news of right now came as a surprise to us this past week. Brittnie called on Wednesday night and asked me to put her on speaker phone so dad could hear as well. She then told us she had a meeting the night before with her stake president. She has decided to go take out her endowments at the temple. I have been waiting for this day for a long time. I know that she has wanted to wait until she gets married, but it is the right time for her. She did this all on her own and wanted it to be a surprise for us. She is going the day after Thanksgiving. I am so excited and cant wait to get there now. I will take her shopping for her temple clothes and dress. I can hardly wait to see her in white. Three of my four will then be endowed with one more hopefully to go. I want my family together in heaven too. I will share about her day when I get home.
I love this time of the year! I love the spirit in the air and I love to give to those around me. I can hardly wait to see my children and to spoil them. My husband is my best friend and we try to do more together each week. I am so grateful to have him in my life. I pray that we will continue to be happy and to have peace in our home. I pray the holidays will be safe for us as well.
There is not a whole lot exciting going on in my every day life right now. Work is so crazy and so short handed. I have been pulling extra hours every week and some weeks work six days. I am tired and the money is not worth it to me, but I am putting all the extra money away for my trip to Hawaii in January with Rob. All of my siblings and parents are going as well. I am so excited to go but I now we will not be able to do as much as last time. However, just time away with Rob and my family is so exciting. It can not get here soon enough. I am also way excited for the holidays to come. Next week we are going to Utah to spend Thanksgiving with our kids and then they come home for Christmas. We have not had the holidays all together for four years. I am so thrilled to have them this year. I am even going to wait to decorate my tree until they are here cause I want them to help. I want them to always feel like this is their home and they can be apart of our traditions. I told them the only thing I want for Christmas this year is family time and laughter. They could wrap years worth of that and put it under the tree and i would be perfectly happy.
Skyler and I have been having some battles lately that concern me. He is trying to find his place in this big world and it is so hard for a teenager. I think the xbox has taken over his life though and that bothers me. His grades are super bad and he will not be able to pull a's this time I don't think. It hurts too as he is so smart and could get great scholarships. I have backed off some but still push him to at least do the work. He has a sweet girl friend who is super nice and keeps him in line for the most part. I just wish he would care again. I miss my little boy and it is hard to let the last one grow up. He has said some very hurtful words that i try to forgive but that is hard too as they are remembered. I just pray that he will come around. He says no mission for him and no church either - but the church is not an option as he lives in my home. Somehow, we need to keep him focused. Pray it will all work out.
The biggest news of right now came as a surprise to us this past week. Brittnie called on Wednesday night and asked me to put her on speaker phone so dad could hear as well. She then told us she had a meeting the night before with her stake president. She has decided to go take out her endowments at the temple. I have been waiting for this day for a long time. I know that she has wanted to wait until she gets married, but it is the right time for her. She did this all on her own and wanted it to be a surprise for us. She is going the day after Thanksgiving. I am so excited and cant wait to get there now. I will take her shopping for her temple clothes and dress. I can hardly wait to see her in white. Three of my four will then be endowed with one more hopefully to go. I want my family together in heaven too. I will share about her day when I get home.
I love this time of the year! I love the spirit in the air and I love to give to those around me. I can hardly wait to see my children and to spoil them. My husband is my best friend and we try to do more together each week. I am so grateful to have him in my life. I pray that we will continue to be happy and to have peace in our home. I pray the holidays will be safe for us as well.
Sunday, September 11, 2016
Dreams Do Come True
Wow....it has been so long since I wrote anything and so much has happened since then. First and for most - my son is home! I can not express the joy of having him back in my arms and feeling of his love. I miss writing to him each week and the closeness that we feel, but I am so glad he is back (well, he is back and gone off to school. )
The day that Boyd came home was such a long day as his flight did not get in until 5:00 p.m. I puttered around the house doing the last minute cleaning and shopping while i waited for the time to tick by. Finally we were on our way to Las Vegas to the airport. I was so excited and could not really believe it was happening Skyler wanted to know why we went so early and I told him that is was cause we did not want to miss the plane coming in. We had about 30 minutes to wait and it went so slow! About ten minutes before he got to the gate, the board showed that his plan had arrived. We had a huge banner that Rob had made for him but there were only three of us there - Rob, Skyler and I. The girls were not able to get off of work. However, we were able to video the hugs live on facebook. We had those cute girls standing next to us who were waiting to be chaperones for others flying in. They kept us laughing. One of the girls had a huge voice and was so loud. She kept welcoming people to Detroit or California just to make them laugh. She saw our banner and wanted to know what it was for. We told her Boyd had been on a mission and we had not seen him for two years. She then started looking for him with us. Rob and Skyler kept giving me problems as they would tell me to settle down or not look up the escalator. Every time i saw church shoes I would get excited. Finally we saw him getting off the farthest escalator. You could hear all of us shot there he is and the ladies heard us. Rob tried telling me to hold still, but forget that. I dropped my side of the banner and took off on a slow run. I wanted to run right into his arms but he was just laughing at me and kept right on walking ! Our new friend had stepped over to hold up the other side of the banner and began shouting "welcome home Boyd" at the top of her lungs. It was not until we got back to the banner that he finally gave me a hug. Big brat - I wanted that way early but it did not matter, I had him now. I had my boy home!
We talked the entire way home and through dinner. Boyd did most of the talking and it was so great to see him and hear his stories. He wandered around the house like he did the day that he left trying to soak it all in. He was home and was not going anywhere. The next morning the tornado began. I spent a few hours taking him shopping to get him clothes as we were going on a cruise in two days. He only had missionary clothes so needed something else to wear. Later that day, Chad and LeAnn came with their kids to spend two days with us. We were supposed to have a good time but remember all of our bad luck, well it happened again.
For some reason Leann wanted to go jet skiing in Lake Havasu instead of here in our town. I was shocked as it was over an hour drive each way plus hauling the boat and jet ski. We did not get to Havasu until after lunch and problems started then. Our truck that kept shutting off and not starting (but the shop said it was all fixed) quit again as we went to put the jet ski in the water. It was going no where. Then the boat got overheated and and had to be hauled back to Bullhead. Rob and Chad took off with the boat while I tried to get the insurance company to send a tow truck. It was 120 out side and no water near the truck. After about four hours, the truck was on its way home and we were waiting for Rob to come back with the other one. It was after 10 by the time we got home and i still had to pack for our trip. LeAnn was tyring to help by offering to go to a hotel but we told her to stay as she was not in the way. I was up until about 2 that morning packing. The day before was behind us and we were going on a cruise with just my kids!!
Well, all does not end there. We got a notice from the airline that our flight was delayed by three hours which meant we would miss our connecting flight in Phoenix. I called the airline to find out there was nothing avaialble as there had been a huge computer problem earlier in the week. We finally found two tickets on the last flight out from Vegas. I needed four. She told us she could put us on overbook which meant we took our chances. And, since the seats were not guaranteed i had to pay for the new seats even though I had free ones to begin with - $1200. I could not beleive it but what was I to do. I paid it and we headed right to Vegas. It was first come first serve on the tickets so we went four hours early. We were lucky enough to get on the flight and finally we were on our way. It was a horrible day with fights from in-laws and hurt feelings but we were finally going (and yes, I did get my money back for the tickets)
We have never been on a cruise before but I would go again tomorrow. It was the best vacation we have had in a long time and totally different than anything we had ever done before. We were all so excited. The rooms were tiny and the boat was a little bit rocky but we got used to that. We took off with all of us out on deck and the breeze blowing through our hair. We were headed to the Bahamas. We were able to eat when and what we wanted, to stay up as late as we wanted, to shop and spend lots of money (in the arcade to say the least - boys!). It was just so awesome. The best part of the boat was dinner time. It was a fancy set up so you had all the formal dinnerware and plates. Skyler had never seen anything like it and wanted to know why he had three forks and they placed the napkin on his lap. We laughed so hard. Our waitress was so funny and grew to love us like we loved her. The food was crocodile legs and escargo plus other weird stuff. Skyler just wanted potatoes and gravy so he would order two entrees that both had potaotes. By the third night he learned he could order just the potatoes - and lots of rolls. Padina (our waitress) kept us stocked up on those. Jay was the floating bartender and always asked us what we wanted to drink. We told him we did not drink and he told us we would have no fun. It was the best part of the boat - dinnertime. I cried the last night as I was so overwhelmed. Not a care in the world had been ours for fives - all the problems left behind and just my family.
Our excursions were great as well. We went to Freeport and to Nassau. We spent one day at the back on kayaks and riding the waves. Of course there was shopping too. The next day we went to the Atlantis water park. It was huge! We went on a few slides but the best part was swimming with teh dolphins. We got to squeeze into these wets suits which caused lots more laughs and head out into the water. We kissed, fed, patted swam and rode the dolphins. It was so much for that excursion but so worth it. To see all the smiles on the kids faces and the love that was there. It was that way the entire trip. We had just the best time ever.
The day after we got home my family came. They were here for Boyds homecoming. We had a nice court of honor for Skyler to get his Eagle and he even seemed proud of it. I know I am way proud of him for getting it. Skyler and I had to talk with Boyd that day which was not nice of the bishopric. Moms are supposed to sit in the audience so they can beam and cry. I kept my talk short and sweet so we could hear Boyd. I did take my place in the audience after I spoke too. I was amazed at the words I was hearing coming out of my son's mouth. He had changed so much. He talked of how scared he was to go but that he was so glad that he did. He stood by the Savior for two years and taught of his truths. I so wish he could stay that pure forever. He did bear his testimony in Spanish which brought tears to many eyes - especially his dad. Our boy was now a man,
We were able to spend almost three weeks with Boyd before telling him good bye again. It was time for him to go to school. I took more time off of work and headed to Utah with him. We flew up as he did not have a car and had events planned for five days to get him started at school. We spent the first morning at orientation for freshman which was just awesome! I could have done without it. Then we headed to his apartment. Well, we toured the place the summer and i was so excited for him to live there and have tons of friends to be with. We walked into his apartment though and both felt sick. It was such a disaster - no paint on all the damaged walls, pills on the floor, meth smell in the carpet, mold around the toilet - no way was he going to live there. His mattress was paper thin with holes in in and probably bugs. We told the office who got pretty upset with us for questioning things and told us it was student housing not the marriott hotel. I was pretty upset. Student housing should still be liveable. We went home for Boyd to think about it and the next day went back to get out of te contract. We had to find someone to sell it to which really was no problem. It cost me almost $300 to cancel the contract but I did not care - he was not going to live there. We then had the task of looking for another place to live. I called work and go the rest of the week off so I could help him. We looked all over and found a really nice place with one opening left. I wanted him to stay there so bad but grandpa had already offered the basement so it was an easy way out for Boyd. He does not do well with change or meeting new people so he finally decided to stay at my parents. I hate that as I know he will come home everyday and do nothing just like Cortnie did. He needs to find friends and socialize. So far he has proved me right and come home every day. It breaks my heart and i really hope he will do something soon. At least he is settled in now and enjoying school.
The girls were also moving in to their new place that same weekend that I stayed. We called Rob and asked me to bring the truck up to help them move. They had so much stuff! He brought James with him and drove until after midnight to get there. I am so glad they came. There is no way I coudl have lifted all those boxes and it would have taken us 25 trips with their cars. I spent the following day unpacking and putting together a new place. My short five day trip was not 11 and I was exhausted. I am glad I was able to go and to help out. We also turned around and went to Panaca four days after getting home from there. Again, nice to go but so glad to be home.
We are home now for a month but Boyd is coming home this weekend to go to the temple with his friend so a Vegas trip and then two weeks after that we go to General Conference again. We have a trip or activity planned once a month for the rest of the year to see our kids in Utah and I am so glad. I want to be with them all so bad. I miss them like crazy. Three more years - then hopefully we can move. I just need to have faith that things will continue to work out. I need to somehow help my son to feel the spirit again so he will want to have the church in his life - Skyler that is. Prayers and more prayers. I can do this right ....you bet I can.
The day that Boyd came home was such a long day as his flight did not get in until 5:00 p.m. I puttered around the house doing the last minute cleaning and shopping while i waited for the time to tick by. Finally we were on our way to Las Vegas to the airport. I was so excited and could not really believe it was happening Skyler wanted to know why we went so early and I told him that is was cause we did not want to miss the plane coming in. We had about 30 minutes to wait and it went so slow! About ten minutes before he got to the gate, the board showed that his plan had arrived. We had a huge banner that Rob had made for him but there were only three of us there - Rob, Skyler and I. The girls were not able to get off of work. However, we were able to video the hugs live on facebook. We had those cute girls standing next to us who were waiting to be chaperones for others flying in. They kept us laughing. One of the girls had a huge voice and was so loud. She kept welcoming people to Detroit or California just to make them laugh. She saw our banner and wanted to know what it was for. We told her Boyd had been on a mission and we had not seen him for two years. She then started looking for him with us. Rob and Skyler kept giving me problems as they would tell me to settle down or not look up the escalator. Every time i saw church shoes I would get excited. Finally we saw him getting off the farthest escalator. You could hear all of us shot there he is and the ladies heard us. Rob tried telling me to hold still, but forget that. I dropped my side of the banner and took off on a slow run. I wanted to run right into his arms but he was just laughing at me and kept right on walking ! Our new friend had stepped over to hold up the other side of the banner and began shouting "welcome home Boyd" at the top of her lungs. It was not until we got back to the banner that he finally gave me a hug. Big brat - I wanted that way early but it did not matter, I had him now. I had my boy home!
We talked the entire way home and through dinner. Boyd did most of the talking and it was so great to see him and hear his stories. He wandered around the house like he did the day that he left trying to soak it all in. He was home and was not going anywhere. The next morning the tornado began. I spent a few hours taking him shopping to get him clothes as we were going on a cruise in two days. He only had missionary clothes so needed something else to wear. Later that day, Chad and LeAnn came with their kids to spend two days with us. We were supposed to have a good time but remember all of our bad luck, well it happened again.
For some reason Leann wanted to go jet skiing in Lake Havasu instead of here in our town. I was shocked as it was over an hour drive each way plus hauling the boat and jet ski. We did not get to Havasu until after lunch and problems started then. Our truck that kept shutting off and not starting (but the shop said it was all fixed) quit again as we went to put the jet ski in the water. It was going no where. Then the boat got overheated and and had to be hauled back to Bullhead. Rob and Chad took off with the boat while I tried to get the insurance company to send a tow truck. It was 120 out side and no water near the truck. After about four hours, the truck was on its way home and we were waiting for Rob to come back with the other one. It was after 10 by the time we got home and i still had to pack for our trip. LeAnn was tyring to help by offering to go to a hotel but we told her to stay as she was not in the way. I was up until about 2 that morning packing. The day before was behind us and we were going on a cruise with just my kids!!
Well, all does not end there. We got a notice from the airline that our flight was delayed by three hours which meant we would miss our connecting flight in Phoenix. I called the airline to find out there was nothing avaialble as there had been a huge computer problem earlier in the week. We finally found two tickets on the last flight out from Vegas. I needed four. She told us she could put us on overbook which meant we took our chances. And, since the seats were not guaranteed i had to pay for the new seats even though I had free ones to begin with - $1200. I could not beleive it but what was I to do. I paid it and we headed right to Vegas. It was first come first serve on the tickets so we went four hours early. We were lucky enough to get on the flight and finally we were on our way. It was a horrible day with fights from in-laws and hurt feelings but we were finally going (and yes, I did get my money back for the tickets)
We have never been on a cruise before but I would go again tomorrow. It was the best vacation we have had in a long time and totally different than anything we had ever done before. We were all so excited. The rooms were tiny and the boat was a little bit rocky but we got used to that. We took off with all of us out on deck and the breeze blowing through our hair. We were headed to the Bahamas. We were able to eat when and what we wanted, to stay up as late as we wanted, to shop and spend lots of money (in the arcade to say the least - boys!). It was just so awesome. The best part of the boat was dinner time. It was a fancy set up so you had all the formal dinnerware and plates. Skyler had never seen anything like it and wanted to know why he had three forks and they placed the napkin on his lap. We laughed so hard. Our waitress was so funny and grew to love us like we loved her. The food was crocodile legs and escargo plus other weird stuff. Skyler just wanted potatoes and gravy so he would order two entrees that both had potaotes. By the third night he learned he could order just the potatoes - and lots of rolls. Padina (our waitress) kept us stocked up on those. Jay was the floating bartender and always asked us what we wanted to drink. We told him we did not drink and he told us we would have no fun. It was the best part of the boat - dinnertime. I cried the last night as I was so overwhelmed. Not a care in the world had been ours for fives - all the problems left behind and just my family.
Our excursions were great as well. We went to Freeport and to Nassau. We spent one day at the back on kayaks and riding the waves. Of course there was shopping too. The next day we went to the Atlantis water park. It was huge! We went on a few slides but the best part was swimming with teh dolphins. We got to squeeze into these wets suits which caused lots more laughs and head out into the water. We kissed, fed, patted swam and rode the dolphins. It was so much for that excursion but so worth it. To see all the smiles on the kids faces and the love that was there. It was that way the entire trip. We had just the best time ever.
The day after we got home my family came. They were here for Boyds homecoming. We had a nice court of honor for Skyler to get his Eagle and he even seemed proud of it. I know I am way proud of him for getting it. Skyler and I had to talk with Boyd that day which was not nice of the bishopric. Moms are supposed to sit in the audience so they can beam and cry. I kept my talk short and sweet so we could hear Boyd. I did take my place in the audience after I spoke too. I was amazed at the words I was hearing coming out of my son's mouth. He had changed so much. He talked of how scared he was to go but that he was so glad that he did. He stood by the Savior for two years and taught of his truths. I so wish he could stay that pure forever. He did bear his testimony in Spanish which brought tears to many eyes - especially his dad. Our boy was now a man,
We were able to spend almost three weeks with Boyd before telling him good bye again. It was time for him to go to school. I took more time off of work and headed to Utah with him. We flew up as he did not have a car and had events planned for five days to get him started at school. We spent the first morning at orientation for freshman which was just awesome! I could have done without it. Then we headed to his apartment. Well, we toured the place the summer and i was so excited for him to live there and have tons of friends to be with. We walked into his apartment though and both felt sick. It was such a disaster - no paint on all the damaged walls, pills on the floor, meth smell in the carpet, mold around the toilet - no way was he going to live there. His mattress was paper thin with holes in in and probably bugs. We told the office who got pretty upset with us for questioning things and told us it was student housing not the marriott hotel. I was pretty upset. Student housing should still be liveable. We went home for Boyd to think about it and the next day went back to get out of te contract. We had to find someone to sell it to which really was no problem. It cost me almost $300 to cancel the contract but I did not care - he was not going to live there. We then had the task of looking for another place to live. I called work and go the rest of the week off so I could help him. We looked all over and found a really nice place with one opening left. I wanted him to stay there so bad but grandpa had already offered the basement so it was an easy way out for Boyd. He does not do well with change or meeting new people so he finally decided to stay at my parents. I hate that as I know he will come home everyday and do nothing just like Cortnie did. He needs to find friends and socialize. So far he has proved me right and come home every day. It breaks my heart and i really hope he will do something soon. At least he is settled in now and enjoying school.
The girls were also moving in to their new place that same weekend that I stayed. We called Rob and asked me to bring the truck up to help them move. They had so much stuff! He brought James with him and drove until after midnight to get there. I am so glad they came. There is no way I coudl have lifted all those boxes and it would have taken us 25 trips with their cars. I spent the following day unpacking and putting together a new place. My short five day trip was not 11 and I was exhausted. I am glad I was able to go and to help out. We also turned around and went to Panaca four days after getting home from there. Again, nice to go but so glad to be home.
We are home now for a month but Boyd is coming home this weekend to go to the temple with his friend so a Vegas trip and then two weeks after that we go to General Conference again. We have a trip or activity planned once a month for the rest of the year to see our kids in Utah and I am so glad. I want to be with them all so bad. I miss them like crazy. Three more years - then hopefully we can move. I just need to have faith that things will continue to work out. I need to somehow help my son to feel the spirit again so he will want to have the church in his life - Skyler that is. Prayers and more prayers. I can do this right ....you bet I can.
Sunday, July 17, 2016
Is It all a Dream?
Wow...it has been so long since I have written anything but life has been so crazy. It seems like everyday we think we will have some free time and then the day is gone. I am so grateful though to be alive and to be well. I am healthy and happy. We have jobs and a home and can provide for our children. Sometimes I wonder why I am so blessed (and other times like this past few weeks, I sometimes have to really think about those blessings as the trials come.) I am truly grateful for the plan of our Heavenly Father. He knows what we can handle and when we have had enough, he steps in with angels or with His love and things are okay once again. I have to be thankful for that.
As i think about what has happened or what is going to happen, I wonder if it is all a dream. I sometimes am afraid to breathe or blink for fear that I will wake up and the dream will be over. Sometimes I wish it was a dream and things could change, but right now, I don't want it to be a dream. I want it to be real. My son...Elder Beatty...comes home in less than 72 hours! I honestly can not beleive that two years has already gone by and that I will be able to see and hold him again that soon. It truly seems like just a few months ago that he left and now he will be home. He has grown so much that I am afraid i might not know him. I tell him I am afraid to breathe when I think about it as I keep thinking it is not real. I might not show it much, but I am about to burst and am so excited. I have been putting it in the back of my mind so I don't dwell on it but it is hard. People ask me if I am excited. Duh....why would I not be? I have not held my son for two years. The last time I was in his presence, he walked away from me crying as he was so scared and wanting to be my little boy still. Now, he leaves his mission still that scared person but a man. He is afraid to come home and start a whole new life again after living a mission life for two years. Yet, he is wanting to see his family. I could not be more proud of my son and what he has accomplished. He truly beat all odds by staying on his mission. I will never forget that phone call of him crying and begging me to bring him home. It was the hardest thing I have ever done to tell him he needed to stay. I knew it would change his life and he would change others. I have seen that happen and now I am a little afraid about who he really is. Will he still be my little boy? Will he still love me and let me take care of him? Will he still want his mom...I sure pray so cause I still need him. I have written to him every week for two years and sent him tons of emails each week. I pray our bond will last forever.
I will have to say that I really only thought Satan worked on you when they were preparing to go but he sure is loving us right now. We have been hit with trial after trial for the past month. We had to replace the alternator in the truck, the shower leaked through the wall so we had to cut a hole in the wall to repair it; the toilets got leaks after our vacation causing us to retile our bathrooms sooner then we wanted; and just recently the water pipes for the irrigation system decided they wanted to leak causing a 80K water usage and huge water bill. We have since repaired them both at the cost of digging up our sidewalk and some grass. My poor husband is such a handyman and I am so lucky that he is. I can not imagine the repair bills at the cost of hiring someone. He is so worn out and tired but keeps going. He choose to only work three days a week this summer to have time to himself and get things done he wanted to do, but has spend every day off repairing or replacing something. All the money he earned extra went to pay for the cost of all the repairs. I will admit that I have sometimes wondered why we have to be picked on, but then am reminded that we have the extra money so have not had to dive into our savings. I have felt sorry for myself but yet quickly try to remind myself that we have been blessed. Today at church, we had an angel pass an envelope to another member askign them to give it to us. It was cash - enough to cover the latest repair. I quickly cried and realized once again I am blessed. I am silently hoping though that our trials are over and we can relax now. I just want to bring my son home.
On top of all the repairs, we have lots of family coming and a huge vacation to go on. Rob's family will be here the day after Boyd gets home for two days. We will play with them. Then we head out to Florida to catch a cruise ship to go to the Bahamas with our children for a week. I am so excited to bond with all of my children again. The day after we get back my family will come for five days and be here for his homecoming. We are having Skyler's court of honor for his Eagle on Saturday, Boyd's talk in church on Sunday, an open house for him on Monday plus feeding everyone. I have made banana bread, about 16 dozen cookies, rice krispies and other snacks for both activities. I am so excited to have my family come and Rob's too. The last time we had company was two years ago when he left. We just do not get visitors very often. They are all staying here so we have been preparing the house and trailer for them to sleep. We will walk all over each other with so many people here. We have two small bathrooms and three bedrooms. i want them here but it will be stressful. I just have to remember to be kind and patient. When they all leave I will go with Boyd to the temple and relax for two weeks before I move him to school. Life....so busy and crazy...but so awesome. I will gladly give up sleep and rest for my family and cant wait for them to come.
We did have a nice vacation to Utah in June before the tornado hit. Skyler went to EFY again and Rob and I just relaxed and spent time with each other. I love to go away and just relax. I am up to six weeks of vacation starting next month and i plan on using it all. We are doing another trip with just adults to Hawaii in January and I can't wait for that as well. I have decided that I really need to take more vacations. We have the money and I don't need the stress. I just want to be happy. I try to find things to keep myself busy while my boys play their games but sometimes I get lonely. I plan on taking trips to see my kids in Utah and spend time with them. I just want to have family time. It is more important that anything that I ever could buy. How grateful I am for them. I am excited to have them come and can't wait to spend time with them. For now, I will try to breathe and hopefully continue the dream if that is what it is. I want to be happy. I will continue to try to remember to count my blessings and to thank my Heavenly Father for them. Thank you ...and welcome home son.
As i think about what has happened or what is going to happen, I wonder if it is all a dream. I sometimes am afraid to breathe or blink for fear that I will wake up and the dream will be over. Sometimes I wish it was a dream and things could change, but right now, I don't want it to be a dream. I want it to be real. My son...Elder Beatty...comes home in less than 72 hours! I honestly can not beleive that two years has already gone by and that I will be able to see and hold him again that soon. It truly seems like just a few months ago that he left and now he will be home. He has grown so much that I am afraid i might not know him. I tell him I am afraid to breathe when I think about it as I keep thinking it is not real. I might not show it much, but I am about to burst and am so excited. I have been putting it in the back of my mind so I don't dwell on it but it is hard. People ask me if I am excited. Duh....why would I not be? I have not held my son for two years. The last time I was in his presence, he walked away from me crying as he was so scared and wanting to be my little boy still. Now, he leaves his mission still that scared person but a man. He is afraid to come home and start a whole new life again after living a mission life for two years. Yet, he is wanting to see his family. I could not be more proud of my son and what he has accomplished. He truly beat all odds by staying on his mission. I will never forget that phone call of him crying and begging me to bring him home. It was the hardest thing I have ever done to tell him he needed to stay. I knew it would change his life and he would change others. I have seen that happen and now I am a little afraid about who he really is. Will he still be my little boy? Will he still love me and let me take care of him? Will he still want his mom...I sure pray so cause I still need him. I have written to him every week for two years and sent him tons of emails each week. I pray our bond will last forever.
I will have to say that I really only thought Satan worked on you when they were preparing to go but he sure is loving us right now. We have been hit with trial after trial for the past month. We had to replace the alternator in the truck, the shower leaked through the wall so we had to cut a hole in the wall to repair it; the toilets got leaks after our vacation causing us to retile our bathrooms sooner then we wanted; and just recently the water pipes for the irrigation system decided they wanted to leak causing a 80K water usage and huge water bill. We have since repaired them both at the cost of digging up our sidewalk and some grass. My poor husband is such a handyman and I am so lucky that he is. I can not imagine the repair bills at the cost of hiring someone. He is so worn out and tired but keeps going. He choose to only work three days a week this summer to have time to himself and get things done he wanted to do, but has spend every day off repairing or replacing something. All the money he earned extra went to pay for the cost of all the repairs. I will admit that I have sometimes wondered why we have to be picked on, but then am reminded that we have the extra money so have not had to dive into our savings. I have felt sorry for myself but yet quickly try to remind myself that we have been blessed. Today at church, we had an angel pass an envelope to another member askign them to give it to us. It was cash - enough to cover the latest repair. I quickly cried and realized once again I am blessed. I am silently hoping though that our trials are over and we can relax now. I just want to bring my son home.
On top of all the repairs, we have lots of family coming and a huge vacation to go on. Rob's family will be here the day after Boyd gets home for two days. We will play with them. Then we head out to Florida to catch a cruise ship to go to the Bahamas with our children for a week. I am so excited to bond with all of my children again. The day after we get back my family will come for five days and be here for his homecoming. We are having Skyler's court of honor for his Eagle on Saturday, Boyd's talk in church on Sunday, an open house for him on Monday plus feeding everyone. I have made banana bread, about 16 dozen cookies, rice krispies and other snacks for both activities. I am so excited to have my family come and Rob's too. The last time we had company was two years ago when he left. We just do not get visitors very often. They are all staying here so we have been preparing the house and trailer for them to sleep. We will walk all over each other with so many people here. We have two small bathrooms and three bedrooms. i want them here but it will be stressful. I just have to remember to be kind and patient. When they all leave I will go with Boyd to the temple and relax for two weeks before I move him to school. Life....so busy and crazy...but so awesome. I will gladly give up sleep and rest for my family and cant wait for them to come.
We did have a nice vacation to Utah in June before the tornado hit. Skyler went to EFY again and Rob and I just relaxed and spent time with each other. I love to go away and just relax. I am up to six weeks of vacation starting next month and i plan on using it all. We are doing another trip with just adults to Hawaii in January and I can't wait for that as well. I have decided that I really need to take more vacations. We have the money and I don't need the stress. I just want to be happy. I try to find things to keep myself busy while my boys play their games but sometimes I get lonely. I plan on taking trips to see my kids in Utah and spend time with them. I just want to have family time. It is more important that anything that I ever could buy. How grateful I am for them. I am excited to have them come and can't wait to spend time with them. For now, I will try to breathe and hopefully continue the dream if that is what it is. I want to be happy. I will continue to try to remember to count my blessings and to thank my Heavenly Father for them. Thank you ...and welcome home son.
Sunday, April 3, 2016
Life is Full of Changes
It is amazing how quickly time goes by but yet it seems to move so slow. If I look at the last time I posted, it has been three months but yet it seems like just yesterday. So much has happened and I am sure I won't remember it all. The best part is that the clock is ticking for Boyd to come home. I am trying not to think about it as that seems to make the time go by slower, but yet if I think back it has gone by pretty quickly. Today is General Conference again and it will be the last conference before he comes home. We have less than four months to go - in fact, we hit 100 days next week! I try not to think about it as it seems so far away still. If I don't dwell on it, it will continue to go by. Boyd has hit a bump in the road and is struggling a little bit so hopefully he will get over that quickly or his time will go by slow. I want his final few months to be as great as the rest of his mission. He needs that opportunity to continue to teach and testify and share his love of the gospel. I am hopeful maybe he will have one more baptism before he comes home but if he does not, that is not a big deal to me at all. I know he has changed lives and he might not ever see the results of his work but yet, I am sure many will come into the church through his service. How I miss my boy but I am so proud of him. I can hardly wait for him to come home and get my hug. We are going on vacation to Florida right after he gets home so that will be tons of fun. I can hardly wait for this summer.
I was released as RS president a couple of weeks ago which is bitter sweet. It was really hard and I cried a lot the day before but it is okay. Change is always good and I am happy to stay out of the light. It will also be nice to not know everything about everyone. That can be hard sometimes and I will not miss that. I will miss the love of my sisters though. The last time I was released I became a nobody and no one even talked to me any more. I am afraid that is what will happen this time and I don't want to be alone. I have no girls at home right now and my boys here don't like to do the same things as me so it makes it kind of lonely. I just pray that people will keep talking to me and invite me to things. I need that so much in my life right now. How I miss my girls....but it was nice to have them home last weekend.
The girls came home last weekend for Easter - or so Rob thought. His birthday was also on Easter and it was the big 50. He had warned me forever that I could not have a party for him and I had to be nice - but he never told the girls they could not do something. Brittnie put together a huge surprise party for him and invited tons of his friends and people from the ward. She had videos of his siblings, his parents, my family and the kids and I - including Boyd. We had all kinds of food and just hung out. It was a lot of fun. His sisters even came down just for the day. We spend the whole weekend just laughing and then had dentist and eye doctor appointments for them on Monday. It was hard to take them back to the airport - especially cause their plane was three hours late. With the time change,, they ended up getting in at 4:00 in the morning their time. I hate it when they leave but at least I can talk to them every night. Boyd will be going to school up by where they live so it will be nice to be close to him when we visit too. He had a larger scholarship in Cedar City but would be all alone there so he decided to go to UVU. He really wanted to go to BYU so hopefully he can transfer in after one year. I am glad he will be close to his sisters and other relatives if he needs them. He will go to school three weeks after he gets home which stinks but I will be able to talk to him.
I am going to Utah in a couple of weeks so that will be nice. Katie, Shawn's daughter, is going through the temple to prepare for her mission. She got her call this past week to Germany and leaves in 8 weeks. - I am glad it is them trying to get her ready so quickly. We were supposed to go to Panaca the same day but Rob told me to go to Utah and he and Skyler will go to Panaca. He knows how hard it is when no one comes to our things on me and no one will be able to be there for Katie. So, off I go for the weekend. Cortnie might be having surgery soon as they found a small hole in her heart (nothing major most of us have it). If you have this hole and are prone to migraines, they find closing the hole makes them less. Her doctor appointment is that Monday so I might be staying an extra day to go with her to the appointment. I am hoping if she has surgery she can schedule it while we are there in June for EFY. Then I can use sick time instead of vacation time and save more vacation for when Boyd is home. Hopefully we will have answers soon as I am not one who likes the unknown. I like to plan in advance. Work is crazy right now as another person quit and we still have not hired anyone to replace the last one. I don't know what we are going to do. I am willing to help out some but I will not work 50 or 60 hours a week. I won't do it. They need to send us some help and they really need to up our pay.
So life is full of changes. How I love being a mom. I have gotten really close to Skyler lately in some areas of his life but he is still a challenge with his attitude. He comes to talk to me when he is down or lonely and he is really good at knowing when I feel the same way. He has taken over as my big bear and gives bear hugs when I need them. I pray that we can stay close and that he will talk to me. Teenage years are hard....and he will need help from adults. Life is good. Somedays are harder than others as I think about all of my kids gone or soon to be gone (2 1/2 years). I pray that when that time comes we can finally move. I want my dream home and I want it filled with family and love.
I was released as RS president a couple of weeks ago which is bitter sweet. It was really hard and I cried a lot the day before but it is okay. Change is always good and I am happy to stay out of the light. It will also be nice to not know everything about everyone. That can be hard sometimes and I will not miss that. I will miss the love of my sisters though. The last time I was released I became a nobody and no one even talked to me any more. I am afraid that is what will happen this time and I don't want to be alone. I have no girls at home right now and my boys here don't like to do the same things as me so it makes it kind of lonely. I just pray that people will keep talking to me and invite me to things. I need that so much in my life right now. How I miss my girls....but it was nice to have them home last weekend.
The girls came home last weekend for Easter - or so Rob thought. His birthday was also on Easter and it was the big 50. He had warned me forever that I could not have a party for him and I had to be nice - but he never told the girls they could not do something. Brittnie put together a huge surprise party for him and invited tons of his friends and people from the ward. She had videos of his siblings, his parents, my family and the kids and I - including Boyd. We had all kinds of food and just hung out. It was a lot of fun. His sisters even came down just for the day. We spend the whole weekend just laughing and then had dentist and eye doctor appointments for them on Monday. It was hard to take them back to the airport - especially cause their plane was three hours late. With the time change,, they ended up getting in at 4:00 in the morning their time. I hate it when they leave but at least I can talk to them every night. Boyd will be going to school up by where they live so it will be nice to be close to him when we visit too. He had a larger scholarship in Cedar City but would be all alone there so he decided to go to UVU. He really wanted to go to BYU so hopefully he can transfer in after one year. I am glad he will be close to his sisters and other relatives if he needs them. He will go to school three weeks after he gets home which stinks but I will be able to talk to him.
I am going to Utah in a couple of weeks so that will be nice. Katie, Shawn's daughter, is going through the temple to prepare for her mission. She got her call this past week to Germany and leaves in 8 weeks. - I am glad it is them trying to get her ready so quickly. We were supposed to go to Panaca the same day but Rob told me to go to Utah and he and Skyler will go to Panaca. He knows how hard it is when no one comes to our things on me and no one will be able to be there for Katie. So, off I go for the weekend. Cortnie might be having surgery soon as they found a small hole in her heart (nothing major most of us have it). If you have this hole and are prone to migraines, they find closing the hole makes them less. Her doctor appointment is that Monday so I might be staying an extra day to go with her to the appointment. I am hoping if she has surgery she can schedule it while we are there in June for EFY. Then I can use sick time instead of vacation time and save more vacation for when Boyd is home. Hopefully we will have answers soon as I am not one who likes the unknown. I like to plan in advance. Work is crazy right now as another person quit and we still have not hired anyone to replace the last one. I don't know what we are going to do. I am willing to help out some but I will not work 50 or 60 hours a week. I won't do it. They need to send us some help and they really need to up our pay.
So life is full of changes. How I love being a mom. I have gotten really close to Skyler lately in some areas of his life but he is still a challenge with his attitude. He comes to talk to me when he is down or lonely and he is really good at knowing when I feel the same way. He has taken over as my big bear and gives bear hugs when I need them. I pray that we can stay close and that he will talk to me. Teenage years are hard....and he will need help from adults. Life is good. Somedays are harder than others as I think about all of my kids gone or soon to be gone (2 1/2 years). I pray that when that time comes we can finally move. I want my dream home and I want it filled with family and love.
Sunday, January 10, 2016
Holidays - I wish They were Back
I have heard so many people in the past week say how thankful they are that the holidays are over. I wish so bad that they were still here. I love the holidays! I love to shop, to cook, to be with family, to wrap presents, to give surprises, to make treats, to travel - I love it all. I wish I could have it way more often. However, the check book would not make it and I would probably grow tired of it. I for one though am not happy that they are over. I love spending time with my family and this year especially, was really hard to leave.
We had a wonderful Christmas and New Years. Cortnie had an angel at work offer to work for her so that she could come home for Christmas. She still had to work part of the week though so we picked them up way late on December 23rd. That gave us Christmas Eve together and all of Christmas Day. I am not sure how it happened, but I had everything done before they got here. I was so ready for Christmas it was kind of scary. I was able to devote all my time to them while they were home and we had a blast. We went to movies, had a nice dinner, played games, laughed and cried. It was so great. Christmas morning I am happy to say that no one got stuck in the window sill and they were kind enough to let us sleep until seven. I wonder if my children will ever out grow the need to get up early on Christmas day - oh well, it makes us all stay young. We had wonderful gifts and so much thought into giving them. Everyone came away happy and I did not go broke this year. It is amazing how I was even able to decide what to give them before they even asked. It was kind of fun. ';
I have to admit I was a little bit antsy all morning as I know that Boyd would be calling. He put the frosting on my Christmas cake. I could not believe my son! He looks so awesome and is so happy. He has lost weight and looks like a man - not my little boy anymore. We laughed and cried and told stories. We opened gifts and laughed some more. We were privileged to get to talk to him for almost three hours. What a great way to spend Christmas afternoon. As it came time to say good-bye though, my little boy came back. He had tears rolling down his cheeks that I could not wipe away. I wanted so bad to hold him and hug him but all I could do was try not to cry and tell him I loved him. he gave family prayer in Spanish before he left and I cried some more. Brittnie said it was easy not to cry though when you had no idea what he was saying. We made hearts with our hands and held them near our hearts. Then he was gone - and I cried some more. I miss him so bad - but THIS YEAR he comes home. We have made it through three Skype calls with only one more to go. We have less than 200 days left. I can do this - we can do this together. My heart broke for him though as he was all alone once again.
We spent the rest of the holidays visiting family. We took the kids to Panaca first to spend one day with grandparents there. It is hard to go there and not feel left out but we go cause we love them. We then got to spend a week in Utah with our daughters and other relatives. We went to temple square, to movies, to parties, out to dinner, shopping, and just sitting around talking. I loved every minute of every day. I was so not ready to come home. As it was time to say good-bye I cried but tried to hold it inside. I wanted to be strong for my girls. I hated to leave them though - I worry about them so much. They need to find friends and they need to be happy. I don't hear that in their voice very often and it worries me. I had silent tears rolling down my cheeks for about a half hour. Rob lets me cry - he knows it hurts me to leave them. I feel alone some nights since the girls are both gone. I do my thing while Rob and Skyler bond on their games but it gets lonely. I miss spending time with them and doing things together. My goal for this year is to find more quality things to do together as a family. We want to do a big vacation when Boyd gets home before he leaves for school. I just pray he gets into BYU - he has had so many disappoints in his life I don't want there to be another one. I want him to finally feel like he has done something right.
2015 was a great year for us but not without its trials. We had surgery, numerous car accidents (one of which was Boyd on his mission right before Christmas - no big deal just went over a curb and took out a mailbox totaling the car and Cortnie two days before then in a snow storm on the freeway) - but no one was hurt. We had many times we were traveling the vehicles went wrong but we were always okay. I can not even begin to explain our financial situation other than to say I know we are blessed for having a son out and paying our tithing. We had a daughter move out of the house to go find her dream and hopefully find someone to share it with. I am so happy we had 2015. I am excited for 2016 and the chance to continue to serve and to grow. I want my family to be happy. I want to see them grow up and get married and serve missions and hopefully soon have grandbabies to spoil. I am so thankful for my best friend to be by my side as we reach our goals together. Life is good - I pray that it will continue to be.
We had a wonderful Christmas and New Years. Cortnie had an angel at work offer to work for her so that she could come home for Christmas. She still had to work part of the week though so we picked them up way late on December 23rd. That gave us Christmas Eve together and all of Christmas Day. I am not sure how it happened, but I had everything done before they got here. I was so ready for Christmas it was kind of scary. I was able to devote all my time to them while they were home and we had a blast. We went to movies, had a nice dinner, played games, laughed and cried. It was so great. Christmas morning I am happy to say that no one got stuck in the window sill and they were kind enough to let us sleep until seven. I wonder if my children will ever out grow the need to get up early on Christmas day - oh well, it makes us all stay young. We had wonderful gifts and so much thought into giving them. Everyone came away happy and I did not go broke this year. It is amazing how I was even able to decide what to give them before they even asked. It was kind of fun. ';
I have to admit I was a little bit antsy all morning as I know that Boyd would be calling. He put the frosting on my Christmas cake. I could not believe my son! He looks so awesome and is so happy. He has lost weight and looks like a man - not my little boy anymore. We laughed and cried and told stories. We opened gifts and laughed some more. We were privileged to get to talk to him for almost three hours. What a great way to spend Christmas afternoon. As it came time to say good-bye though, my little boy came back. He had tears rolling down his cheeks that I could not wipe away. I wanted so bad to hold him and hug him but all I could do was try not to cry and tell him I loved him. he gave family prayer in Spanish before he left and I cried some more. Brittnie said it was easy not to cry though when you had no idea what he was saying. We made hearts with our hands and held them near our hearts. Then he was gone - and I cried some more. I miss him so bad - but THIS YEAR he comes home. We have made it through three Skype calls with only one more to go. We have less than 200 days left. I can do this - we can do this together. My heart broke for him though as he was all alone once again.
We spent the rest of the holidays visiting family. We took the kids to Panaca first to spend one day with grandparents there. It is hard to go there and not feel left out but we go cause we love them. We then got to spend a week in Utah with our daughters and other relatives. We went to temple square, to movies, to parties, out to dinner, shopping, and just sitting around talking. I loved every minute of every day. I was so not ready to come home. As it was time to say good-bye I cried but tried to hold it inside. I wanted to be strong for my girls. I hated to leave them though - I worry about them so much. They need to find friends and they need to be happy. I don't hear that in their voice very often and it worries me. I had silent tears rolling down my cheeks for about a half hour. Rob lets me cry - he knows it hurts me to leave them. I feel alone some nights since the girls are both gone. I do my thing while Rob and Skyler bond on their games but it gets lonely. I miss spending time with them and doing things together. My goal for this year is to find more quality things to do together as a family. We want to do a big vacation when Boyd gets home before he leaves for school. I just pray he gets into BYU - he has had so many disappoints in his life I don't want there to be another one. I want him to finally feel like he has done something right.
2015 was a great year for us but not without its trials. We had surgery, numerous car accidents (one of which was Boyd on his mission right before Christmas - no big deal just went over a curb and took out a mailbox totaling the car and Cortnie two days before then in a snow storm on the freeway) - but no one was hurt. We had many times we were traveling the vehicles went wrong but we were always okay. I can not even begin to explain our financial situation other than to say I know we are blessed for having a son out and paying our tithing. We had a daughter move out of the house to go find her dream and hopefully find someone to share it with. I am so happy we had 2015. I am excited for 2016 and the chance to continue to serve and to grow. I want my family to be happy. I want to see them grow up and get married and serve missions and hopefully soon have grandbabies to spoil. I am so thankful for my best friend to be by my side as we reach our goals together. Life is good - I pray that it will continue to be.
Sunday, November 29, 2015
Thankful
Life just goes by way too fast. I can't believe it has been almost three months since I last posted anything. It is crazy busy around here and the next month will be just as bad. I have not even been able to run on my treadmill and it shows. I want to get healthy again but can't stay up until midnight every night to do so. However, I am so thankful that I am healthy and able to do what I can. I know the my Heavenly Father helps me through each day. There is no other explanation as to why I can do so much if it was not for his help.
We just got back from a nice Thanksgiving in Utah. We usually stay home but no one could come so we went there. I have not been there for so long for Thanksgiving. It was nice to be with my daughters. they choose to stay at my parents with us so that was really nice. How I love having them there and being with them all the time. I am worried about Christmas though. As of right now, Cortnie has to work on Christmas day so we might be there for that holiday too. I so much prefer Christmas in my own home though and I hate to haul everything with me. I just am praying so hard that someone will work for her. I am very grateful for my family and for all the chances I get to be with them.
I am also so thankful for my missionary. I have rubbed off on Rob. We will just be sitting in church singing a song and suddenly the words will hit our hearts and we will start to cry. They are words that pertain to our missionary too or how he has overcome or missing him. We are truly blessed for having him out. We had another financial blessing happen that I can not explain on paper. I can only explain it by saying we are blessed for him serving. I miss him like crazy - especially during the holidays. However, I know that he is happy, that he is changing and growing, and that he is touching lives of families so that they can have what I have - an eternal family.
I am so thankful at this time of year for my Saviors. How I love him! I can never repay what he gave for me and for taking about him all of my sins. I am thankful for Heavenly Parents who let their son die for each of us. It is not easy watching your child hurt so I am truly thank for them. I hope t keep that spirit alive this holiday season and to enjoy it. I don't' want to be too busy - I want to feel of that spirit and to share it with those around me. I am so thankful for all of my many blessings.
We just got back from a nice Thanksgiving in Utah. We usually stay home but no one could come so we went there. I have not been there for so long for Thanksgiving. It was nice to be with my daughters. they choose to stay at my parents with us so that was really nice. How I love having them there and being with them all the time. I am worried about Christmas though. As of right now, Cortnie has to work on Christmas day so we might be there for that holiday too. I so much prefer Christmas in my own home though and I hate to haul everything with me. I just am praying so hard that someone will work for her. I am very grateful for my family and for all the chances I get to be with them.
I am also so thankful for my missionary. I have rubbed off on Rob. We will just be sitting in church singing a song and suddenly the words will hit our hearts and we will start to cry. They are words that pertain to our missionary too or how he has overcome or missing him. We are truly blessed for having him out. We had another financial blessing happen that I can not explain on paper. I can only explain it by saying we are blessed for him serving. I miss him like crazy - especially during the holidays. However, I know that he is happy, that he is changing and growing, and that he is touching lives of families so that they can have what I have - an eternal family.
I am so thankful at this time of year for my Saviors. How I love him! I can never repay what he gave for me and for taking about him all of my sins. I am thankful for Heavenly Parents who let their son die for each of us. It is not easy watching your child hurt so I am truly thank for them. I hope t keep that spirit alive this holiday season and to enjoy it. I don't' want to be too busy - I want to feel of that spirit and to share it with those around me. I am so thankful for all of my many blessings.
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