I am so way worn out but have to take just a minute to record my feelings. I promise to write tons more in the next few days about all of our experiences the last few days as a family, but tonight I am too tired.
Today I did one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. I gave my baby girl to our Heavenly Father for the next 18 months. My heart is so full right now and it aches so bad. How I wish I could rush back to her and tell her the many things that I did not. How I wish she could be a little girl again and dance and play with her. Unfortunately, I am not able to do any of those things right now. I held her in my arms for hours last night as she gently cried and fell asleep. I will treasure that moment forever. She looked so beautiful and radiant as she stood at the MTC. She struggled to say good-bye but proudly held her head up as she walked away from us. We both cried as we hugged for the last time. I took her precious face in my hands and told her that I loved her. I wiped her tears away and told her "no more tears". She needed to be excited and go fulfill her dream. Then she quietly walked away and never looked back.
The drive home was so long. Tears would suddenly come out of nowhere as I would remember things or wish that I had done more. I so wish I had tomorrow off to sit here and look at pictures and books and cherish my daughter. I am so PROUD of her. I pray the time will speed by and I will be writing about having her back in my arms again. I love you Cortnie....
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